let's recap
Friday.
Unprecedented Fantasticality.
Not only were Mel and I just a register apart but Cindy was down there with us as well. Erin was head cashier AND Johnny and Trisha were closing managers. I can honestly say it was probably the best day on the job I've had so far. The greatest part was that I wasn't expecting much out of it either. Ideally I thought it would a tolerable night then Kat Attack and I would be going to Michael's after I got off at 11pm to watch the Departed but instead the Norms WonderSluts Crew partied and this time we brought CindyTron with us. I think Kat said we hit our all-time record and stayed for almost 4 hours. HELLZ YEAH, SON. I'm not going to lie though, Tim was being a little creepy and hitting on Mel which was a hilarious spectacle in itself if it weren't for the fact that he was wearing his wedding ring the whole time. But the upside was she got free toast and hot cocoa and we got the satisfaction of holding this over her head for the rest of her life. Win / win if you ask me.
Keywords: White Chocolate & Brown Sugar, revenge on teenagers, fake checks, naked hitchhiking, and public urination.
Saturday.
Heart-wrenching Anguish to Unconditional Appreciation.
I don't care what you say about him or what I say about him for that matter, Michael is by far the greatest best friend I could ever have in the entire world. After a relatively shitty morning and getting to work over an hour early for no reason except the fist-clenching frustration of everyone asking you what's wrong I began to have a very humbling anxiety attack. I figured Kat was still at lunch so I texted the one person who wasn't flying out of the country that I knew could instantaneously put me at ease. Without hesitation he drove to my store right after he got off a long shift and then waited two hours until I had a break to make me feel better. SO FUCK ALL OF YOU WHO THINK THAT MICHAEL ISN'T A KICKASS BEEF BECAUSE HE IS. Just don't tell him I said that because his ego is really quite big enough. The only good thing that came out of being so down was finding out all the people who really give a shit about whether I'm okay or not. They guys offered themselves as human punching bags and the girls complimented my hair. I have nothing but lots of dirty love and well earned karma for them. They are the ones that make working long hours for moronic customers a million times worth it. After all that bullshit Kat met up with me and we got food, which I consumed at lightspeed, then we watched Bubba Ho-tep. She stayed with me even though her allergies were killing her because she wanted to make sure I would eventually get back to normal. Or because I have working internet access. Either way, I love her for it and thus won't disappear for a year again.
Keywords: Nickdiculous wearing my sunglasses, arm punches, cupcake earrings, Twix fries, Plaid Shirt Posse.
Sunday.
Contagious Good Moods That You Can't Shake Off.
Originally the plan was to have a craft party at Mel's with Kat after she and I got off work, however her boat party from the night before hit her with a late hangover and she went home early. Nonetheless, it was a fast shift because of all the last minute shoppers. Erin took the manager's register next to me which was perfect because then we got to hang out the whole time. Since the line was so disgustingly long I decided not to buy Michael's Family X-mas presents until after I clocked off. Which definitely worked out to my advantage since then I got to browse more, mingle with some of my favorite people, including my favorite Cueball manager, and then skip to the front of the line because of said sarcastic Mr. Clean. Since Mel was so sick Kat and I forgave her for bailing on us and decided to super sneak attack surprise Michael. It was the perfect way to end a really unblemished day. We listened to "Crazy For You" on the freeway and couldn't stop smiling. About the same thing but for very, VERY different reasons. While at the Morgensterns' abode we spent time on the staircase while Kevin did his kagle exercises in his too small boxers. I love that family almost as much as my own. Sometimes more. I practically ran to Corrine when she came down the stairs. Then Kat A-snack and I got din-din and passed out on my mom's bed while watching Dodgeball.
Keywords: Shleep, Alpha Male, 160 people I infected with AIDS, fudge, opossum fight.
I know this is a long entry but I am still fucking smiling thinking about how much today made up for yesterday afternoon's attack. The only thing I need now is a quick dose of Seannie. IT'S NOT HABIT FORMING. HE'S THE CHEAPEST DRUG. I have work again tomorrow and then finally a day off from all this consumer madness. Good night.