For real
So i thought i'd use this journal for real once...I'm so freakin frustrated!!!!!!!!!
so finishing up school and all is great...but i almost wish i had school work to worry about right now. I just feel so alone... All school year I've been so busy that it never really hit me...Everyone seems so far away. With adam working these freakin 80 hr work weeks i literally never see him. By time he gets outta work i gotta get to bed to get up early. My family and everyone is in lockport and it amazes me how much i can miss them sometimes...last weekend i didn't get to go home for mother's day because my mom took my grandma and grandpa to past toronto to visit my aunt till monday (i had to work mon). I miss the crew at home (mindip!!!!) I miss leah being around...but i know she's gonna miss campus lodge a lot so i totally get why she's hanging out there all the time (and her bed isnt taken apart there!!! :P). I miss emily and everyone from york b/c the summer was just SO much fun w/u guys! I miss everyone from camp. I miss the days of hanging out in canandaigua w/everyone. I miss just hanging out w/my mom!!! I miss hanging out w/pauly and dawn. I miss becky and nicole and everyone from NU.
I'm so broke too!! It's gonna be so hard finishing up paying bills here and paying for the house on the lake until we start camp the end of june...from then on i'll be fine w/school loans and daycare money. it just sucks now though. I know completly understand why adam's working double jobs until he gets his manager position in like less than a month now...(it better be) but he's just been miserable for the last forever about it...and i totally wanna support him but i'm just running low on optimism. I'm just worried about so much (cause i do that) and i hate complaining to people (esp on the phone) so adam was always there for me to get it out. He's just had so much on his shouldars for the last year that i don't think he can take a lot anymore either. So anytime I'm upset about my stupid girly things (like now feeling lonely) he thinks i'm mad at him (which i'm not) Aren't i aloud to just be upset in general?!?! I just want summer!!!!!!!! like working at camp summer....cause then i'll feel better...it'll make adam feel better...everyone will be around (and hopefully happy too :) !!!)...i can go home more w/out worrying about money....we won't be in this freakin apartment where everything is in boxes and just gross...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
alright...well i feel a lil better....i'm gonna go make a music cd for daycare cause i found a marching song for holly...thanks for listing whoever reads this...i hate complaing to people so i'm sorry!!!! I usually find all happy stuff to write in here about what i'm looking foreward too...keeping busy makes u not miss stuff (lol theres a quote for ya!!!) I guess i just ran out of the "busy work" and this free time makes me miss everyone so much more (and now adams added to the list too :-( i guess that was my last straw) ....okay sorry... at least this way when i'm complaining u can cut me off whenever u'd like! :) :) have a great night and ~keep smiling~ :)
so finishing up school and all is great...but i almost wish i had school work to worry about right now. I just feel so alone... All school year I've been so busy that it never really hit me...Everyone seems so far away. With adam working these freakin 80 hr work weeks i literally never see him. By time he gets outta work i gotta get to bed to get up early. My family and everyone is in lockport and it amazes me how much i can miss them sometimes...last weekend i didn't get to go home for mother's day because my mom took my grandma and grandpa to past toronto to visit my aunt till monday (i had to work mon). I miss the crew at home (mindip!!!!) I miss leah being around...but i know she's gonna miss campus lodge a lot so i totally get why she's hanging out there all the time (and her bed isnt taken apart there!!! :P). I miss emily and everyone from york b/c the summer was just SO much fun w/u guys! I miss everyone from camp. I miss the days of hanging out in canandaigua w/everyone. I miss just hanging out w/my mom!!! I miss hanging out w/pauly and dawn. I miss becky and nicole and everyone from NU.
I'm so broke too!! It's gonna be so hard finishing up paying bills here and paying for the house on the lake until we start camp the end of june...from then on i'll be fine w/school loans and daycare money. it just sucks now though. I know completly understand why adam's working double jobs until he gets his manager position in like less than a month now...(it better be) but he's just been miserable for the last forever about it...and i totally wanna support him but i'm just running low on optimism. I'm just worried about so much (cause i do that) and i hate complaining to people (esp on the phone) so adam was always there for me to get it out. He's just had so much on his shouldars for the last year that i don't think he can take a lot anymore either. So anytime I'm upset about my stupid girly things (like now feeling lonely) he thinks i'm mad at him (which i'm not) Aren't i aloud to just be upset in general?!?! I just want summer!!!!!!!! like working at camp summer....cause then i'll feel better...it'll make adam feel better...everyone will be around (and hopefully happy too :) !!!)...i can go home more w/out worrying about money....we won't be in this freakin apartment where everything is in boxes and just gross...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
alright...well i feel a lil better....i'm gonna go make a music cd for daycare cause i found a marching song for holly...thanks for listing whoever reads this...i hate complaing to people so i'm sorry!!!! I usually find all happy stuff to write in here about what i'm looking foreward too...keeping busy makes u not miss stuff (lol theres a quote for ya!!!) I guess i just ran out of the "busy work" and this free time makes me miss everyone so much more (and now adams added to the list too :-( i guess that was my last straw) ....okay sorry... at least this way when i'm complaining u can cut me off whenever u'd like! :) :) have a great night and ~keep smiling~ :)