Cheating Darwin
My brother Gary has been in town for the past week. This is the brother of mine who back in high school, along with a couple of friends, nearly blew their faces off trying to recreate the "Mission Impossible" gunpowder fuse by emptying out the flash powder from a bunch of illegal M-80s into a longish line ending in a big pile of powder. Their hope was that they'd light the end of the line, and it would slowly go "sssssssssss" until it hit the powder pile at the end, where it would finally go boom. Instead, the whole thing went up at once. Gary was luckier than his friends in that he didn't have to stay in the hospital to get his burns treated (Not as lucky as one of his friends who thought the whole thing was a bad idea and stayed in the house. Note that this "lucky" friend's luck ran out a few months later when he had the bright idea that it would be fun to light these M-80s in his room and then throw them out the window. Apparently it was great fun until he held onto one for just slightly too long. Gary was in the room with him and didn't get hurt, but did end up with his friend's blood all over his shirt.)
A few years ago he did end up in the hospital after getting all manly with a barbecue and an excessive amount of lighter fluid to impress his wife-to-be and future in-laws. I'm pretty sure he made an impression-- maybe not the one he hoped for, but hey, he did end up marrying her, so you can't argue with the results.
When he was little he got bored skiing with the family at Alpental, and decided to go off by himself when the rest of us weren't looking. Although we couldn't find him, we did see the note at the chairlift at the bottom. Apparently on his way down he skied off a small cliff and needed some stitching up.
So anyway, this week he's been in town and mostly hanging around down at the lake. Youngest brother Zach and one of his friends were traipsing around under the lake doing some surface-supplied air diving off the end of the dock and Gary decided it would be fun to dive down and hassle them, and maybe grab some of their air. He didn't realize they were down as far as they were (maybe 25 feet or so), and he ran out of breath and decided to come back up. In diving, they always tell you not to rise faster than your bubbles and that the most treacherous water is the water near the surface since that's where the pressure changes the fastest. Turns out this is just as true when you're wearing nothing but your shorts as it is when you're in full scuba regalia. On his way up, he burst an eardrum. This is actually a fairly common diving injury and it's generally not as serious as it might sound. In fact, at this point, he thought he just had water in his ear that he couldn't get out. His helpful wife (hereafter "Queen Gertrude") knew an old family remedy and proceeded to pour a capful of hydrogen peroxide down his ear. Much screaming and a trip to the hospital later, Gary was safely sucking down some vicodins. The doctors said that the hydrogen peroxide could well have killed him. At this point though, it looks like he'll be fine, and even his hearing in that ear is starting to come back.
He and his wife have two young twin daughters. It looks like the score is Gary-6, Darwin-0.
A few years ago he did end up in the hospital after getting all manly with a barbecue and an excessive amount of lighter fluid to impress his wife-to-be and future in-laws. I'm pretty sure he made an impression-- maybe not the one he hoped for, but hey, he did end up marrying her, so you can't argue with the results.
When he was little he got bored skiing with the family at Alpental, and decided to go off by himself when the rest of us weren't looking. Although we couldn't find him, we did see the note at the chairlift at the bottom. Apparently on his way down he skied off a small cliff and needed some stitching up.
So anyway, this week he's been in town and mostly hanging around down at the lake. Youngest brother Zach and one of his friends were traipsing around under the lake doing some surface-supplied air diving off the end of the dock and Gary decided it would be fun to dive down and hassle them, and maybe grab some of their air. He didn't realize they were down as far as they were (maybe 25 feet or so), and he ran out of breath and decided to come back up. In diving, they always tell you not to rise faster than your bubbles and that the most treacherous water is the water near the surface since that's where the pressure changes the fastest. Turns out this is just as true when you're wearing nothing but your shorts as it is when you're in full scuba regalia. On his way up, he burst an eardrum. This is actually a fairly common diving injury and it's generally not as serious as it might sound. In fact, at this point, he thought he just had water in his ear that he couldn't get out. His helpful wife (hereafter "Queen Gertrude") knew an old family remedy and proceeded to pour a capful of hydrogen peroxide down his ear. Much screaming and a trip to the hospital later, Gary was safely sucking down some vicodins. The doctors said that the hydrogen peroxide could well have killed him. At this point though, it looks like he'll be fine, and even his hearing in that ear is starting to come back.
He and his wife have two young twin daughters. It looks like the score is Gary-6, Darwin-0.