And the world stood still.
Last couple of weeks, I've been feeling like all of my thoughts and cares and concerns have been floating around in the ether outside of my body. Anyone could look at me and think, "Look at that girl. She's waay behind in her classes, she's bullshitting her way through the DMC, she can't keep up and it's all just hanging out."
However, today and yesterday I feel like I've been able to pull some of that back inside of me and slide it to where it belongs. I've been managing my time: no TV, not taking my purely-for-pleasure reading material on the bus, working on homework during breaks, etc. Luckily, I'm also managing to kill the procrastination that has arisen in my soul: Whether or not I want to do something and whether or not I feel like I can do it, I've been just trying, and if the result is bad, I re-do it, and if it's good, yay.
Luckily, I have had more good results than bad results, so lucky me for getting some positive reinforcement. Today in ballet, though I really felt like I wouldn't be able to, I worked hard to get more turns in on each side, and actually managed consistent triples on the right, and 2 triples on the left, which probably hasn't happened in more than a year or two. Silly, to document pirouettes, but turns are my all time weakest point ever, and my greatest triumph when I get them. That, and flexibility.
Also, my Marx teacher picked out my essay and another students as "exemplary", and discussed why they were good in class. I was pleased, but embarrassed, because I had thought it was rubbish and didn't really want the teacher reading bits of it aloud.
Anyways...I also had a great rehearsal with my dancers. I'm getting excited about my piece, but still at a loss as to costuming. And, in Kimberly's rehearsal today, we had a guest teacher that did a Butoh workshop/meditative exercises with us. It made the piece feel so different- I went in to rehearsal not knowing if I would have the energy to get through, and by the time we finished our meditation, it didn't matter if I was tired or not, it wasn't me dancing anymore, it was just this body that had a role to fulfill. And I left feeling ready to work on my piece, and to bring the qualitative dynamics we worked on to Kimberly's. It was fabulous.
Well, lots of homework to do. I have two papers and a presentation to finish and be ready for by Tuesday morning. Woo!
However, today and yesterday I feel like I've been able to pull some of that back inside of me and slide it to where it belongs. I've been managing my time: no TV, not taking my purely-for-pleasure reading material on the bus, working on homework during breaks, etc. Luckily, I'm also managing to kill the procrastination that has arisen in my soul: Whether or not I want to do something and whether or not I feel like I can do it, I've been just trying, and if the result is bad, I re-do it, and if it's good, yay.
Luckily, I have had more good results than bad results, so lucky me for getting some positive reinforcement. Today in ballet, though I really felt like I wouldn't be able to, I worked hard to get more turns in on each side, and actually managed consistent triples on the right, and 2 triples on the left, which probably hasn't happened in more than a year or two. Silly, to document pirouettes, but turns are my all time weakest point ever, and my greatest triumph when I get them. That, and flexibility.
Also, my Marx teacher picked out my essay and another students as "exemplary", and discussed why they were good in class. I was pleased, but embarrassed, because I had thought it was rubbish and didn't really want the teacher reading bits of it aloud.
Anyways...I also had a great rehearsal with my dancers. I'm getting excited about my piece, but still at a loss as to costuming. And, in Kimberly's rehearsal today, we had a guest teacher that did a Butoh workshop/meditative exercises with us. It made the piece feel so different- I went in to rehearsal not knowing if I would have the energy to get through, and by the time we finished our meditation, it didn't matter if I was tired or not, it wasn't me dancing anymore, it was just this body that had a role to fulfill. And I left feeling ready to work on my piece, and to bring the qualitative dynamics we worked on to Kimberly's. It was fabulous.
Well, lots of homework to do. I have two papers and a presentation to finish and be ready for by Tuesday morning. Woo!