Y-O, Day 3
Aruba was our first day landing in a port, allowing us off the boat. It's also home to a
great bar named Carlos and Charlies, affectionately known as Carlos and Chazzmos.
We knew we wanted to do an excursion, so before we crashed the night before, me, Jesse and Train went and filled out the forms for the kayaking/snorkeling tour. We figured that would be fun.
Unfortunately, we forgot it started at 11:15am, on the island. Gah. 9:30am we forced ourselves out of bed, slunk to the Windjammer and stuffed ourselves silly. After that we disembarked (shouldn't that be disbarked?) and made our way to the Royal Caribbean building. Waited around until 11:45 or so, since someone on the last tour at 8am was late, and it held us up. Everyone bought trinkets and garbage at the stores.
Finally the bus shows up and we all pile in. It's a beaten up old school bus, driven by a rasta, with speakers in the ceilings and bass tubes under every couple of seats. It's gonna be a fun ride. Since I burnt a little the day before, I spent most of it putting on sunscreen and calling Jesse a crafty butcher.
After breaking all our assbones, we show up at the beach. We see a couple of guys getting the kayaks ready. By ready, I mean they're shoving them off the trailer onto the ground, then dragging them into the water. The guy goes through his thing, telling us how to use the paddle, how to turn, what to do if we flip, etc. Nothing too surprising. They give us our lifejackets, strap 'em on, and tell us to pick our kayaks. Me and Jesse are soloing, Train and Kristy are going tandem and so are Paulie and Steph. Should be an interesting ride.
We start paddling out, all get to the floating dock and start heading out. Everyone else is gliding along nicely. I pick up some speed, start to like it. Then I try for a big stroke, and go straight into the water. Sigh. I fish out my sandals, which are now soaked, and my flippers (for the snorkeling), swing my ass back up onto the kayak, pull my feet in, and go over again. Sigh again. Finally get back in, and I'm a half mile behind everyone else. Goody. I play catch up for the next 20 minutes, finally reaching everyone else right before we hit the beach. It's around a 3-4 mile kayak trip, upstream. Not bad.
Get out on the beach, wander around for 15 minutes or so. Swim a little, Kristy takes some pictures. Water is crystal clear out to about 30 feet out. Beautiful.
They hand out our snorkeling gear, and we get all suited up. we waddle out about 20 feet then start swimming. The water is amazing and clear. There are little fish, guppies or killies or something in packs everywhere. We head out into deeper water and swim for a bit, seeing the local fish. Blues, greens, yellows, the works. Really beautiful.
The guides lead us towards an area of coral, and they warn us. They tell us that there's going to be a reef we're swimming over, and it'll have some fire coral on it. Fire coral is red, with a white stripe along the top, and if it touches you, it burns, like welts. very sore, very red, very painful. Great. He points out a small patch of it on the base of the ocean, and Paulie says he can't see it. He looks over, and motions for Paulie to come to him, saying "Yes, sir, that's because you're floating right above it. Can you swim over here now?" Oops for Paulie. His foot missed it by about 8 inches. Lucky boy.
So we start to head towards the reef. The guide says, "Just stay to the center, there's not too much of it." Fair enough. We dip underwater and start to look around. And we see there's fire coral underneathe us for 200 yards in every direction. I like this guy's definition of "not too much". It basically means we have to swim the entire way, there's no breaks. Oh well. I'm a good enough swimmer.
We keep on cranking, making a big loop out from the island, maybe a quarter mile or so, stopping at every reef for pictures and stuff. It was really damn cool. I dont have pictures because I forgot my underwater camera, but Kristy has a bunch. I'll get them from her this weekend.
Finally get back to the beach, hand in our stuff and start heading back for the bus. The trip back is much easier since it's downstream with the wind at our backs. I'm actually out in front of the pack for most of it, since I finally figure out how to ass-balance. I look back and see Paulie and Steph go headfirst into the rock face of the cliffs next to the beach. Ouch. I got swept downstream after that, but when they got in by the bus, we found out (from them) that they couldn't get back off, so the guide had to tow them back to shore. That's gotta be funny, seeing one kayak towing another.
After we get back, I take off my lifevest again, to find out I have a perfectly square tan/burn line on both shoulders, right where the vest wasn't covering. To go with that is the odd circular tan/burn line from the top of the vest. Great. Not only is it a burn, it's a square burn. Oh well.
We get back on the bus, head to the ship again. The driver promises us that if we all go to Carlos and Chazzmos later that night, he'll buy the first round. I love him instantly.
After getting back on the ship, we shower up for a while and head out to the pools again. Relax in the hottub for a bit, and we see the rest of our crew work their way out onto the deck. Apparently they all wanted to go to the beach, Merri, Craig, Matt, Zach, Jen and Jeremy. Matt decided he didn't need sunscreen, which is a bad move. He's mostly balding and has manboobs, which make for some of the worst tanlines in history. Poor bastard.
We also discover that Jen is apparently the Mini Moosifer. She demanded everyone be out by 11:30am, on the beach by 12noon, and she had everyone back by 4:30pm on the dot. Her demands at the beach were just as bad, so I was told. This bodes badly, since two Moosifers on one trip is not a good thing.
I was also told that Matt and Zach saw the hot Brazilian aerobics instructor at the nude beach, topless and in a gstring. And no, her boobs were not real, but they looked spectacular.
After Matt and Zach leave to drown themselves in aloe, I see Heather and Jamie sitting next to the hottubs. I head over in their direction, and start talking to them for a few minutes. A few minutes then turns into about an hour, as we're all sitting around bullshitting, telling how our days went, ragging on fat people in speedos and making fun of Matt's burnlines. They told me the next day that the hour or so there was the most they'd laughed in a long time, and that they actually had trouble breathing the next morning because their ribs hurt. Damned if I can't tell a joke. Matt comes over and he sits with us for a little while. Apparently he feeds off me. It's cool to watch the two of us turn these girls inside out. Eventually our crew comes and hangs out in the hottub next to us, splashing water and everything. It's fun.
We opt for dinner on the ship again, so we hurry downstairs and put on pants, then rush off to dinner. I won't pretend like I know what I had, since dinners are just a blur. I just remember everyone being very red and sore. It was funny.
Everyone wanted to finish dinner early so we could go to Carlos and Chazzmos before the ship leaves at 1am, so we hurried up and were done by around 10pm or so. Nice. Everyone runs back, puts on their best club clothes, which for me meant sneakers, dammit, since my jesus sandals got soaked. We make the long trek for a whole half mile to C&C. (Music factory? No way. I just realized that. That's too funny.) $5 to get in, and they give you a yard. That's a giant plastic cup, about 2 feet tall with a big ball at the bottom. It holds 2 beers, or a lot of liquor.
Upon entering, I immediately demand that my yard be filled with a frosty brew. The guy pours in 2 Miller Lites for $6. Bastard. I make my way onto the floor, start dancing with Lulu, because by this point I'm down a 6pack or so since dinner. We find the whole crew there, plus all the parents and the Englands. It's a regular party. Lulu is up dancing on tables, getting hit on. Hell even Jeremy is dancing, kinda.
I get a tap on my shoulder halfway through my beer, and it's Jesse. He informs me that "This crafty butcher tipped his yard too far and soaked his shirt, watch yourself." Kevin overhears this and just laughs. I wisen up and have to sip my beer. Damn.
I get another tap on my shoulder, it's Heather and Jamie. And their moms. We all start dancing, and Jamie's mom is getting hit on. She's actually good looking for an older broad. We're all dancing, having a good time. I refill my yard two or three times, so I'm happy. Heather starts rubbing against one side of me, Jamie on the other. It's a fun sandwich. Jamie starts dancing with her mother, to save her from an ugly guy, so Heather drags me closer to the center of the dance floor. There's much groping, grabbing and dancing. Quite fun.
Jesse shows up with a yard full of jack and coke, half jack. He's a happy man. A congo line starts up, and both the girls grab me to join. I follow along, and the congo line goes passed a guy with a squeeze bottle. After a 20 second squeeze and a punch in the head to keep moving, I catch up with the line to find out the bottle is full of tequila. Gah. The line makes one more loop and I head back to the dance floor to find Steph buying Jello shots. My bane. I do the shot after the midget Mexican shoves it in my face, then she punches me in the head again. People are so nice down there.
[Edit again: I forgot about something. Doh.]
I was dancing around with whoever, drinking and having a great time. This big grimey black guy comes up and starts grinding on Danielle while Zach is getting her another drink. She looks scared, and gives me the "Oh God help me" look. So I grab her, start dancing with her. Black guy gets pissed, but moves over and starts dancing with Christie, because Jesse is nowhere in sight. Sigh. I grab her and start dancing with her. Now I look like a pimp, and the black guy is pissed. I'm laughing my ass off. He storms off, and we don't see him again.
Zach comes back and takes Danielle, so I keep dancing/grinding with Christie for a few minutes. Damn she's got a nice body. Then we see the guy with the shot squeeze bottle up on the second floor, squeezing tequila into people's mouths from 20 feet away. I'm staring with my mouth open, drooling, and Christie says "Yeah, I want some too, lets go." So we head over and between the two of us probably get half the bottle poured down our faces, with maybe 1 shot worth in our mouth. Damn it was fun though. Then Jesse reappears and takes Christie back to the dancefloor. Ah well.
[/edit]
Another beer or two and it's almost time to head back to the ship. Heather and Jamie leave 20 minutes early to head back to the Jester, so they say goodbye. With their tongues. Nice. 12:45, we head back to the ship. I put my beer through the x-ray scanner, hoping to get super powers. Alas, I do not. Damn. I down the rest of the beer and get on the elevator.
As soon as I get off, some lady coming on says "Hey you guys look like you're having a good time, you want my drink? I'm going back upstairs." She then fills my yard with a Sex on the Beach. To the top. Oh man, looks like I'm not remembering tonight. We hit the Jester, drink some more, have a good time. H&J are there, we dance a little more. I see Ally from the night before, she comes over and dances a little while no one is watching. Great time.
Everyone else leaves to hit the hottubs, H&J want me to stay for a while. I sit with them for a bit, in Jesters, while everyone else is piling out. Jamie ends up finding another guy that she met last night, so Heather and I sit around talking for a big, and she ends up on my lap. We talk, kiss, etc. Head back upstairs in a little while, to find Jamie going to the other guys room. So we go on in and do our thing. Apparently Jersey girls dont like condoms, but that doesn't fly in NY. I ran to get one and "killed the mood," until I worked her back up. After that, everything was juuuust fine. And everyone was happy.
Found out the next morning, there was a fight onboard, in an elevator, and Zach was there to see the whole thing. Apparently some kids came back from C&C, were being loud in the elevator, so some guy, like 40 or so, told them to stop being asshole and act their age, etc. The kids said fine, whatever, and they quieted down a bit. Then when they hit the kid's floor, he went to get out, and the guy wouldn't get out of his way. So the kid said excuse me, nothing. So the kid pushed by the guy. The guy yells at him for pushing, and shoves the kid out of the elevator. Mind you, this guy is with his wife and kid. The kid looks back and tells the guy to fuck off, so the guy shoves him again. So the kid levels the guy, he's on the floor and everyone is kicking him for being a douche. The wife runs over to the elevator, the doors close, and she has to report to security that her husband is being beaten up on floor 8, no floor 7, no floor 6, etc. From what I heard, Zach didn't stop laughing for an hour. That would have been fun to see.
So overall not a bad night. Nicely drunk, nicely laughing, and nicely splashing to top it all off. Go me. That's day 3.
It gets funnier in Curacao on day 4.
great bar named Carlos and Charlies, affectionately known as Carlos and Chazzmos.
We knew we wanted to do an excursion, so before we crashed the night before, me, Jesse and Train went and filled out the forms for the kayaking/snorkeling tour. We figured that would be fun.
Unfortunately, we forgot it started at 11:15am, on the island. Gah. 9:30am we forced ourselves out of bed, slunk to the Windjammer and stuffed ourselves silly. After that we disembarked (shouldn't that be disbarked?) and made our way to the Royal Caribbean building. Waited around until 11:45 or so, since someone on the last tour at 8am was late, and it held us up. Everyone bought trinkets and garbage at the stores.
Finally the bus shows up and we all pile in. It's a beaten up old school bus, driven by a rasta, with speakers in the ceilings and bass tubes under every couple of seats. It's gonna be a fun ride. Since I burnt a little the day before, I spent most of it putting on sunscreen and calling Jesse a crafty butcher.
After breaking all our assbones, we show up at the beach. We see a couple of guys getting the kayaks ready. By ready, I mean they're shoving them off the trailer onto the ground, then dragging them into the water. The guy goes through his thing, telling us how to use the paddle, how to turn, what to do if we flip, etc. Nothing too surprising. They give us our lifejackets, strap 'em on, and tell us to pick our kayaks. Me and Jesse are soloing, Train and Kristy are going tandem and so are Paulie and Steph. Should be an interesting ride.
We start paddling out, all get to the floating dock and start heading out. Everyone else is gliding along nicely. I pick up some speed, start to like it. Then I try for a big stroke, and go straight into the water. Sigh. I fish out my sandals, which are now soaked, and my flippers (for the snorkeling), swing my ass back up onto the kayak, pull my feet in, and go over again. Sigh again. Finally get back in, and I'm a half mile behind everyone else. Goody. I play catch up for the next 20 minutes, finally reaching everyone else right before we hit the beach. It's around a 3-4 mile kayak trip, upstream. Not bad.
Get out on the beach, wander around for 15 minutes or so. Swim a little, Kristy takes some pictures. Water is crystal clear out to about 30 feet out. Beautiful.
They hand out our snorkeling gear, and we get all suited up. we waddle out about 20 feet then start swimming. The water is amazing and clear. There are little fish, guppies or killies or something in packs everywhere. We head out into deeper water and swim for a bit, seeing the local fish. Blues, greens, yellows, the works. Really beautiful.
The guides lead us towards an area of coral, and they warn us. They tell us that there's going to be a reef we're swimming over, and it'll have some fire coral on it. Fire coral is red, with a white stripe along the top, and if it touches you, it burns, like welts. very sore, very red, very painful. Great. He points out a small patch of it on the base of the ocean, and Paulie says he can't see it. He looks over, and motions for Paulie to come to him, saying "Yes, sir, that's because you're floating right above it. Can you swim over here now?" Oops for Paulie. His foot missed it by about 8 inches. Lucky boy.
So we start to head towards the reef. The guide says, "Just stay to the center, there's not too much of it." Fair enough. We dip underwater and start to look around. And we see there's fire coral underneathe us for 200 yards in every direction. I like this guy's definition of "not too much". It basically means we have to swim the entire way, there's no breaks. Oh well. I'm a good enough swimmer.
We keep on cranking, making a big loop out from the island, maybe a quarter mile or so, stopping at every reef for pictures and stuff. It was really damn cool. I dont have pictures because I forgot my underwater camera, but Kristy has a bunch. I'll get them from her this weekend.
Finally get back to the beach, hand in our stuff and start heading back for the bus. The trip back is much easier since it's downstream with the wind at our backs. I'm actually out in front of the pack for most of it, since I finally figure out how to ass-balance. I look back and see Paulie and Steph go headfirst into the rock face of the cliffs next to the beach. Ouch. I got swept downstream after that, but when they got in by the bus, we found out (from them) that they couldn't get back off, so the guide had to tow them back to shore. That's gotta be funny, seeing one kayak towing another.
After we get back, I take off my lifevest again, to find out I have a perfectly square tan/burn line on both shoulders, right where the vest wasn't covering. To go with that is the odd circular tan/burn line from the top of the vest. Great. Not only is it a burn, it's a square burn. Oh well.
We get back on the bus, head to the ship again. The driver promises us that if we all go to Carlos and Chazzmos later that night, he'll buy the first round. I love him instantly.
After getting back on the ship, we shower up for a while and head out to the pools again. Relax in the hottub for a bit, and we see the rest of our crew work their way out onto the deck. Apparently they all wanted to go to the beach, Merri, Craig, Matt, Zach, Jen and Jeremy. Matt decided he didn't need sunscreen, which is a bad move. He's mostly balding and has manboobs, which make for some of the worst tanlines in history. Poor bastard.
We also discover that Jen is apparently the Mini Moosifer. She demanded everyone be out by 11:30am, on the beach by 12noon, and she had everyone back by 4:30pm on the dot. Her demands at the beach were just as bad, so I was told. This bodes badly, since two Moosifers on one trip is not a good thing.
I was also told that Matt and Zach saw the hot Brazilian aerobics instructor at the nude beach, topless and in a gstring. And no, her boobs were not real, but they looked spectacular.
After Matt and Zach leave to drown themselves in aloe, I see Heather and Jamie sitting next to the hottubs. I head over in their direction, and start talking to them for a few minutes. A few minutes then turns into about an hour, as we're all sitting around bullshitting, telling how our days went, ragging on fat people in speedos and making fun of Matt's burnlines. They told me the next day that the hour or so there was the most they'd laughed in a long time, and that they actually had trouble breathing the next morning because their ribs hurt. Damned if I can't tell a joke. Matt comes over and he sits with us for a little while. Apparently he feeds off me. It's cool to watch the two of us turn these girls inside out. Eventually our crew comes and hangs out in the hottub next to us, splashing water and everything. It's fun.
We opt for dinner on the ship again, so we hurry downstairs and put on pants, then rush off to dinner. I won't pretend like I know what I had, since dinners are just a blur. I just remember everyone being very red and sore. It was funny.
Everyone wanted to finish dinner early so we could go to Carlos and Chazzmos before the ship leaves at 1am, so we hurried up and were done by around 10pm or so. Nice. Everyone runs back, puts on their best club clothes, which for me meant sneakers, dammit, since my jesus sandals got soaked. We make the long trek for a whole half mile to C&C. (Music factory? No way. I just realized that. That's too funny.) $5 to get in, and they give you a yard. That's a giant plastic cup, about 2 feet tall with a big ball at the bottom. It holds 2 beers, or a lot of liquor.
Upon entering, I immediately demand that my yard be filled with a frosty brew. The guy pours in 2 Miller Lites for $6. Bastard. I make my way onto the floor, start dancing with Lulu, because by this point I'm down a 6pack or so since dinner. We find the whole crew there, plus all the parents and the Englands. It's a regular party. Lulu is up dancing on tables, getting hit on. Hell even Jeremy is dancing, kinda.
I get a tap on my shoulder halfway through my beer, and it's Jesse. He informs me that "This crafty butcher tipped his yard too far and soaked his shirt, watch yourself." Kevin overhears this and just laughs. I wisen up and have to sip my beer. Damn.
I get another tap on my shoulder, it's Heather and Jamie. And their moms. We all start dancing, and Jamie's mom is getting hit on. She's actually good looking for an older broad. We're all dancing, having a good time. I refill my yard two or three times, so I'm happy. Heather starts rubbing against one side of me, Jamie on the other. It's a fun sandwich. Jamie starts dancing with her mother, to save her from an ugly guy, so Heather drags me closer to the center of the dance floor. There's much groping, grabbing and dancing. Quite fun.
Jesse shows up with a yard full of jack and coke, half jack. He's a happy man. A congo line starts up, and both the girls grab me to join. I follow along, and the congo line goes passed a guy with a squeeze bottle. After a 20 second squeeze and a punch in the head to keep moving, I catch up with the line to find out the bottle is full of tequila. Gah. The line makes one more loop and I head back to the dance floor to find Steph buying Jello shots. My bane. I do the shot after the midget Mexican shoves it in my face, then she punches me in the head again. People are so nice down there.
[Edit again: I forgot about something. Doh.]
I was dancing around with whoever, drinking and having a great time. This big grimey black guy comes up and starts grinding on Danielle while Zach is getting her another drink. She looks scared, and gives me the "Oh God help me" look. So I grab her, start dancing with her. Black guy gets pissed, but moves over and starts dancing with Christie, because Jesse is nowhere in sight. Sigh. I grab her and start dancing with her. Now I look like a pimp, and the black guy is pissed. I'm laughing my ass off. He storms off, and we don't see him again.
Zach comes back and takes Danielle, so I keep dancing/grinding with Christie for a few minutes. Damn she's got a nice body. Then we see the guy with the shot squeeze bottle up on the second floor, squeezing tequila into people's mouths from 20 feet away. I'm staring with my mouth open, drooling, and Christie says "Yeah, I want some too, lets go." So we head over and between the two of us probably get half the bottle poured down our faces, with maybe 1 shot worth in our mouth. Damn it was fun though. Then Jesse reappears and takes Christie back to the dancefloor. Ah well.
[/edit]
Another beer or two and it's almost time to head back to the ship. Heather and Jamie leave 20 minutes early to head back to the Jester, so they say goodbye. With their tongues. Nice. 12:45, we head back to the ship. I put my beer through the x-ray scanner, hoping to get super powers. Alas, I do not. Damn. I down the rest of the beer and get on the elevator.
As soon as I get off, some lady coming on says "Hey you guys look like you're having a good time, you want my drink? I'm going back upstairs." She then fills my yard with a Sex on the Beach. To the top. Oh man, looks like I'm not remembering tonight. We hit the Jester, drink some more, have a good time. H&J are there, we dance a little more. I see Ally from the night before, she comes over and dances a little while no one is watching. Great time.
Everyone else leaves to hit the hottubs, H&J want me to stay for a while. I sit with them for a bit, in Jesters, while everyone else is piling out. Jamie ends up finding another guy that she met last night, so Heather and I sit around talking for a big, and she ends up on my lap. We talk, kiss, etc. Head back upstairs in a little while, to find Jamie going to the other guys room. So we go on in and do our thing. Apparently Jersey girls dont like condoms, but that doesn't fly in NY. I ran to get one and "killed the mood," until I worked her back up. After that, everything was juuuust fine. And everyone was happy.
Found out the next morning, there was a fight onboard, in an elevator, and Zach was there to see the whole thing. Apparently some kids came back from C&C, were being loud in the elevator, so some guy, like 40 or so, told them to stop being asshole and act their age, etc. The kids said fine, whatever, and they quieted down a bit. Then when they hit the kid's floor, he went to get out, and the guy wouldn't get out of his way. So the kid said excuse me, nothing. So the kid pushed by the guy. The guy yells at him for pushing, and shoves the kid out of the elevator. Mind you, this guy is with his wife and kid. The kid looks back and tells the guy to fuck off, so the guy shoves him again. So the kid levels the guy, he's on the floor and everyone is kicking him for being a douche. The wife runs over to the elevator, the doors close, and she has to report to security that her husband is being beaten up on floor 8, no floor 7, no floor 6, etc. From what I heard, Zach didn't stop laughing for an hour. That would have been fun to see.
So overall not a bad night. Nicely drunk, nicely laughing, and nicely splashing to top it all off. Go me. That's day 3.
It gets funnier in Curacao on day 4.