Ch...ch...ch...ch...changes
I realised something as I was fiddling with my journal, adding links and changing colours and just doing a general overhaul. The something I realised was that I've changed a lot and had no idea about it.
I'm not talking huge major life altering changes, because those you do notice, I'm talking about the little things that slowly change who you are. As per normal Andreas was studying and I was procrastinating (I still am, I think this is a core aspect of myself and will never change). My tool of procrastination = designing my LiveJournal. This was when I came to my first realisation, I'm no longer the internet whizz kid I used to be, gone are the days when I remember all the needed link codes and how to build up a nifty looking journal purely using codes. Instead I am now relying upon layouts which just don't portray what I want and it was frustrating.
Sure that isn't an amazing change but it still is significant enough to note. It also got me to wondering what else has changed about me, quite a few things no doubt, some of which I'm aware of and some of which I aren't.
I'm a productive and valued employee - I never would have looked at myself in this light before now.
I'm good on the phone - I still hate it but work is getting me over that fear.
I wish I wasn't so head strong and opinionated...I don't know if I'm putting that right, I guess what I mean is people seem to be able to let a lot of stuff slide and I can't. Maybe I wish I was more naive.
People view me as an extrovert but really I'm introverted.
I'm not as smart as I thought I was, by this I mean school smarts.
I won't always agree with people but that doesn't matter, I now have the power to admit when I'm wrong or at fault.
No one is ever better than anyone else because we have no idea about anyone but ourselves.
I'm strong.
I know how to love unconditionally.
I feel guilty over the stupidest things. Like if I forget to say hello, or I forget to ask about something.
I have a good head on my shoulders.
I don't like changing my mind once I've formed an opinion.
I'm indecisive and I hate it.
I don't like confrontation but I'll do it if I have to and do it good.
I still haven't dealt with my childhood trauma AKA parent's divorce.
I am happy with myself. (And this is the most important one)
One thing I can't wait for is the future, but the present is treating me well at the moment that the waiting is ticking by with niceities.
I know it's strange but I want the family, I think maybe I want to prove to myself that I won't have what happened to me happen to my children. A lot of people doubt that, not that I won't keep my children happy but that my marriage won't last. I swear I'm going to prove them all wrong, my main hope is that they'll be happy that I do.
I'm not talking huge major life altering changes, because those you do notice, I'm talking about the little things that slowly change who you are. As per normal Andreas was studying and I was procrastinating (I still am, I think this is a core aspect of myself and will never change). My tool of procrastination = designing my LiveJournal. This was when I came to my first realisation, I'm no longer the internet whizz kid I used to be, gone are the days when I remember all the needed link codes and how to build up a nifty looking journal purely using codes. Instead I am now relying upon layouts which just don't portray what I want and it was frustrating.
Sure that isn't an amazing change but it still is significant enough to note. It also got me to wondering what else has changed about me, quite a few things no doubt, some of which I'm aware of and some of which I aren't.
I'm a productive and valued employee - I never would have looked at myself in this light before now.
I'm good on the phone - I still hate it but work is getting me over that fear.
I wish I wasn't so head strong and opinionated...I don't know if I'm putting that right, I guess what I mean is people seem to be able to let a lot of stuff slide and I can't. Maybe I wish I was more naive.
People view me as an extrovert but really I'm introverted.
I'm not as smart as I thought I was, by this I mean school smarts.
I won't always agree with people but that doesn't matter, I now have the power to admit when I'm wrong or at fault.
No one is ever better than anyone else because we have no idea about anyone but ourselves.
I'm strong.
I know how to love unconditionally.
I feel guilty over the stupidest things. Like if I forget to say hello, or I forget to ask about something.
I have a good head on my shoulders.
I don't like changing my mind once I've formed an opinion.
I'm indecisive and I hate it.
I don't like confrontation but I'll do it if I have to and do it good.
I still haven't dealt with my childhood trauma AKA parent's divorce.
I am happy with myself. (And this is the most important one)
One thing I can't wait for is the future, but the present is treating me well at the moment that the waiting is ticking by with niceities.
I know it's strange but I want the family, I think maybe I want to prove to myself that I won't have what happened to me happen to my children. A lot of people doubt that, not that I won't keep my children happy but that my marriage won't last. I swear I'm going to prove them all wrong, my main hope is that they'll be happy that I do.