livejournal rant, take one.
i would like to say first and foremost that elephants can paint. like, real pictures. that look good. okay, if that doesnt shit on your mind i don't know what does.
since my gym revelation i have attended an open gymnastics class and choreographed my friends floor routine for an upcoming competition of hers that i have decided to compete in as well. its not a big deal for me, but its nice non-chalant thing i'm excited about doing. particularly because i want julien to see me in action. although i'm really, REALLY fucking rusty. its a bit frustrating, but its to be expected. i'm not sure how i'll be able to practice this week. ah, i'll prob end up wingin' it. anyway! on another note...
i took Sonyah Tayeh's contemporary jazz class today at Edge, since school was cancelled. it was one of those life changers. oh yess. i've made a decision to put photography and all that jazz on hold. i've found my passion again. i want to dance. i want to move. i want to flip. i want to soar. and fly. and hurt. and be sore. and challenge myself. i want to break physical boundaries and push my emotional capacities. i want to feel alive again and it's so simple--just do what i've always done. circus arts, dance and gymnastics will be of priority right now. nothing else. i'm talking 5 hrs a day, 5 days a week. at least. lets get this party started.
it makes no sense, why it took so long for me to realize this. to put my foot down and say this is what i should be doing. whats important is that i know now. i left that class today feeling empowered. enlightened. alive. and most of all, happy. really, really fucking cloud 9 happy. i walked out of edge and it was a bright&sunny day, something out of a movie. i just, really enjoy pushing myself. seeing how much i can take, how much i can endure. i LOVE it. i love aching muscles and dripping sweat and suddenly being able to do something today that i couldnt do yesterday, and than being able to do something tomorrow that i couldnt do today. thats what its all about. Sonyah's style, specifically, is a dream come true for me. i just absolutely love how she moves, how she makes us move. it's brilliant. its the egg-sact dance style i love. i could do it all day. and i love her gruesome warm ups and stoic way of teaching. its like, sharp. bam. do it, or get out. fix it, or step aside. i love it. i also love where i'm at right now. i'm a good dancer. i'm not a bad dancer. i'm not a great dancer. i'm a good dancer. which means theres so much room for improvement. and theres encouragement. i know i have the ability i need to be amazing. i have a challenge ahead. i NEED a challenge. i can't wait.
i dont really know where this will lead me, but ill i know is i NEED this right now. for whatever reason, this is what i need in my life. i feel amazing. i love photography, i do, but i cannot sit at a computer and stare at someones face for 8 hours. i cannot. I NEED TO FUCKING MOVE. i hate deadlines. i hate constantly updating online sites. fucking hate it. i need a break from it all. sure, ill do some shoots for extra cash and when i'm feeling extra creative, ill set up my own on my OWN time to fullfill my ideas. but right now its all about the physical outlets baby! self expression through my SELF. not my eyes. and the click of a button, the push of a finger.
alright. jeez i'm tired. i'm so lame, the way i rant my thoughts on livejournal. bahahah.
since my gym revelation i have attended an open gymnastics class and choreographed my friends floor routine for an upcoming competition of hers that i have decided to compete in as well. its not a big deal for me, but its nice non-chalant thing i'm excited about doing. particularly because i want julien to see me in action. although i'm really, REALLY fucking rusty. its a bit frustrating, but its to be expected. i'm not sure how i'll be able to practice this week. ah, i'll prob end up wingin' it. anyway! on another note...
i took Sonyah Tayeh's contemporary jazz class today at Edge, since school was cancelled. it was one of those life changers. oh yess. i've made a decision to put photography and all that jazz on hold. i've found my passion again. i want to dance. i want to move. i want to flip. i want to soar. and fly. and hurt. and be sore. and challenge myself. i want to break physical boundaries and push my emotional capacities. i want to feel alive again and it's so simple--just do what i've always done. circus arts, dance and gymnastics will be of priority right now. nothing else. i'm talking 5 hrs a day, 5 days a week. at least. lets get this party started.
it makes no sense, why it took so long for me to realize this. to put my foot down and say this is what i should be doing. whats important is that i know now. i left that class today feeling empowered. enlightened. alive. and most of all, happy. really, really fucking cloud 9 happy. i walked out of edge and it was a bright&sunny day, something out of a movie. i just, really enjoy pushing myself. seeing how much i can take, how much i can endure. i LOVE it. i love aching muscles and dripping sweat and suddenly being able to do something today that i couldnt do yesterday, and than being able to do something tomorrow that i couldnt do today. thats what its all about. Sonyah's style, specifically, is a dream come true for me. i just absolutely love how she moves, how she makes us move. it's brilliant. its the egg-sact dance style i love. i could do it all day. and i love her gruesome warm ups and stoic way of teaching. its like, sharp. bam. do it, or get out. fix it, or step aside. i love it. i also love where i'm at right now. i'm a good dancer. i'm not a bad dancer. i'm not a great dancer. i'm a good dancer. which means theres so much room for improvement. and theres encouragement. i know i have the ability i need to be amazing. i have a challenge ahead. i NEED a challenge. i can't wait.
i dont really know where this will lead me, but ill i know is i NEED this right now. for whatever reason, this is what i need in my life. i feel amazing. i love photography, i do, but i cannot sit at a computer and stare at someones face for 8 hours. i cannot. I NEED TO FUCKING MOVE. i hate deadlines. i hate constantly updating online sites. fucking hate it. i need a break from it all. sure, ill do some shoots for extra cash and when i'm feeling extra creative, ill set up my own on my OWN time to fullfill my ideas. but right now its all about the physical outlets baby! self expression through my SELF. not my eyes. and the click of a button, the push of a finger.
alright. jeez i'm tired. i'm so lame, the way i rant my thoughts on livejournal. bahahah.