(no subject)

[twaj]

Grandpa got ran over by a Lada
Coming from the whorehouse Christmas Eve
People say there's no such thing as Santa
but the girls at Charmel still believe

We didn't know his destination
When grandpa went out into the snow
But several made the observation
That as he'd left, he'd mumbled 'ho ho ho.'

We'd deride his girls as sleases
Good old grandpa had a few
but when we'd warn him of diseases
he'd boast of ones he'd fought in World War Two

It's not Christmas without grandpa
It's just driving us insane
and his little blue Viagra
would have matched the blood in grandpa's veins

Now you can sit and be judgemental
and tell me grandpa was quite a rat
but he was not nearly as evil
as my cousin who moved into grandpa's flat