Goodbye Forever (Disappear) (1/3)
Everything was ready. The lights were low. He’d told Gwen to inform the team they all had the day off. His jacket was hanging off the back of his chair and his braces were hanging down by his sides. He even had his boots untied and his feet up, on his desk, because he was finding his bedroom, such as it was, a little too claustrophobic these days. A chunky, second-hand Donald Bartholme book sat unopened on his lap as he watched the Torchwood team packing up in the room below, waiting for them to just leave. After all, he would just clean everything up when he got tetchy later, which he knew he would. He always did.
The book was a 31st century edition of ‘Come Back, Dr. Caligari’. It was number 421 on the list of 1001 books to read before you die. He’d borrowed it and several other sack loads of reading material from the Doctor - or rather, had been leant them by force, but liked to pretend he had borrowed them because things borrowed must be returned and that meant he had to see the Doctor again sometime. The Doctor had said the list was timeless, although he’d scribbled a few of his own reading suggestions down for Jack as well, things that had been written after 2006. He’d also said that Jack ought to be ashamed that he hadn’t read them all, seeing as he had died at least 1001 times already. Today was as good a time as any to start. He’d chosen it at random - his third choice, because he didn’t much feel like reading ‘The Master’ or ‘Dead Air’, which were the first two he’d picked up, after the trials he’d been put through in the last couple of years. If nothing else, it would pass the time.
A knock at the door startled him out of his trance and he veered his head away from the glass window, eyebrows raised, to find Gwen standing in the open doorway behind him.
She didn’t wait for his acknowledgement to speak. She’d never have to. “I don’t suppose you mind Ianto being here after we all go home,” She said with a slightly nervous chuckle, staring distantly past the Captain as she spoke. Jack did mind, but he was too amused by her awkwardness to point that out, and nodded instead. She gave him a pained smile, one that wasn’t really a smile at all, one he recognised as bad news. Gwen had mastered the ability to grin and bear it when times were hard, and he could tell she was doing so now by the way she was gritting her teeth behind her closed lips. With a small intake of breath, he smiled back and braced himself for the bombshell. “He’s gone missing, Jack. You didn’t send him out for anything did you?”
He wasn’t expecting that. The smile must have fallen from his face because her eyes widened with slight unsettle. “Did you?”
“No.” Jack informed her with a sigh. He really had been ready to settle in for a whole day alone with his thoughts and a quiet evening with a bottle of scotch. Rubbing his temples, he frowned, and asked for clarification. “What exactly do you mean by ‘gone missing’?”
“Well, he’s not in the hub. I went looking for him so I could tell him to go home and-”
“Have you run a computer check on his location?” The Captain cut her off. It really wasn’t like Ianto to wander off somewhere, especially without asking Jack explicitly for permission, which was a habit the teaboy had never been able to shake. “Have you asked the others?” His quiet evening in was so not happening.
Gwen nodded glumly. “The computer isn’t picking anything up. Not in a fifty mile radius at least… I asked Mickey to do a wider scan, although it seems pretty crazy to have to search that far. No ones seen him since we left to chase that little nuisance of an alien earlier… but that’s barely enough time to drive that far…”
She was making it sound like he’d done a runner on them. Jack frowned deeper and tapped his chin. The situation was a little more serious than she’d made out when she’d first walked in. “Don’t jump to conclusions. I doubt he’s just run off, Gwen.” He said sternly, sliding his feet down off the desk and chucking the untouched book back onto it. He tightened his boots; situations like this had a bad habit of suddenly requiring a lot of sprinting. “What makes you think he’s driving? Is his car gone?”
For a moment, Gwen was speechless, as if she hadn’t thought to check yet. Jack rolled his eyes and stood up. “I take it you don’t know. Come on, lets give him a ring, and perhaps then I can finally get some peace and quiet.”
“I did think of that, you know.” Gwen said, snapping slightly and folding her arms in her defence. “He’s not answering.”
Jack chuckled slightly, passing her to get to the door. “His other phone, then. His private line, reserved just for me,” Laughing again as she screwed up her face slightly, considering the implications of what he’d said. Oh, it’d be cruel not to follow that up with something worse. Jack paused and threw a glance over his shoulder at her. “For when I need him to… y’know… come on!” He said with a wink, wetting his lips slightly as he disappeared into the corridor.
Three hours earlier, Ianto had waved Gwen, Martha and Mickey goodbye, and then Jack, after being groped slightly, as they’d headed out the door to the tourist office to investigate an average looking reading they’d picked up that was causing more trouble than it was worth.
Jack was differently recently. Since reality itself had almost ended, and more prominently the Dalek’s had attacked Earth, he’d been a lot more hands-on about their relationship in front of the others, and wasn’t really spending anytime with him behind closed doors. He was missing Jack’s touch - real touch, not just rough caresses and short, dispassionate kisses. It was almost like Jack was showing him off to Martha and Mickey, but Ianto could tell that wasn’t it. He missed the neediness and the contained lust; and not that they’d ever done that much talking, but he missed that too. He missed the connection between them, really. But, Ianto supposed, the time had to come at some point. For a man who would live forever, what was the point in sticking to any one thing that made you happy? Why settle for anything when eternity was in reach? Perhaps seeing the universe almost destroyed, Jack had finally had a revelation about the fact he was going to lose everyone at some point, simply through the trials of time and figured the sooner it happened, the easier it would be to take. Perhaps he was just getting bored. Ianto told himself he didn’t care. He told himself what he and Jack shared was just lust. All Jack ever wanted came in a large blue box anyway; not a boring suit and a purple tie. He was just too ordinary, he told himself. All he’d ever be was baggage.
He tried not to think about it. He’d talk to Jack about it when he returned, perhaps.
They’d probably been gone for half an hour when he’d heard the noise. He almost even recognized it by now; the noise was something he associated with Torchwood, and Jack, and he brushed it off as nothing, machinery perhaps, and continued with what he was doing.
At the time, he was fixing the security cameras around the hub; the one in the tourist office was the worst - the picture was ridiculously blurry but it didn’t seem to be a problem with the actual lens, but instead the transmission. Since everyone was out, Ianto deemed it safe enough to shut down the camera network for a little while and with any luck, he’d have them up and running properly again by the time the others returned.
When he heard the door open, he jumped slightly and turned too quickly to see who it was; half an hour was pretty quick to sort out a rift disturbance so he was hardly expecting Jack to be back but he couldn’t help but get his hopes up a little. Perhaps they could have that chat he’d been thinking about…
If you’ve ever pivoted round on one foot, too quickly, standing on a chair, you know how easy it is to fall; the chair was far from stable anyway and Ianto found himself slipping forwards and heading face first towards the floor. He shut his eyes and waved his hands out in front of him for something to grab onto.
Instead, he was caught and steadied by two strong arms, almost knocking the other person over too in the process. When Ianto opened his eyes again, he was staring into two brown ones, warm with the smile that spread out from the man’s lips all over his face. “H-hello…” He stuttered slightly breathlessly, now altogether embarrassed. “I mean… thanks…”
“No problemo! Ooh, another one I should never say again…” The brown eyes danced with amusement as the grin spread impossibly wider and the arms loosened slightly around him. “Careful now, Ianto, you could get hurt. I doubt Jack would want to play with damaged goods!”
The mindless, playful insult and the mention of Jack’s name brought Ianto back to reality and he pushed himself back as he realised just whose arms he’d stumbled so ungracefully into. “Right,” He said curtly, clearing his throat. In front of him stood the man who had, so Ianto had been told, saved the universe more times than he’d had hot dinners. The man who had stopped the Dalek’s a hundred times over, sewn the threads of space and time back together, been to the end of all existence. The man who was destroying his relationship just by being alive, who could steal his lover as easily as just taking his hand, a man who was infinitely better than him, just because. It was hard to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “I honestly don’t think he cares. Jack isn’t here right now. Is there anything I can help you with, Doctor?”
It took everything he had in him not to spit out the Doctors name like a curse, but if there was one thing Ianto Jones really was talented at, it was pretending to be impassive, and making a good impression. He told himself to bear in mind that maybe the Doctor wasn’t here to see Jack, because Mickey and Martha were also companions of his, so he’d heard. He told himself he didn’t care anyway.
“Oh…” The Doctor said thoughtfully, dragging out the word, eyes darting all over the room. “Okay, I came all this way to see Jack, so I’ll just wait, I suppose!” - Ianto breathed in sharply, but forced a smile anyway - “A nice cup of tea wouldn’t kill me though… where do you keep the kettle? Oh, can I see the hub, whilst I wait? You’re not too busy are you? I wouldn’t want to intrude… stupid me, turning up out of the blue, asking for things. I’m sure I can show myself around! Tell you what… just show me the kettle. I’ll do the rest myself. Do you want a cup? Or coffee… I remember; Jack drinks coffee… bleurgh!”
Ianto was slightly stunned. He’d only ever met the Doctor over a computer screen a month or so ago… despite that, and what he’d heard at Torchwood 1, he hadn’t known what to expect; only that Jack really liked him and so fundamentally, he didn’t. Frankly… it had been a long time since someone had asked him if he was too busy to help them… and even longer since someone had offered to make him coffee.
And now he didn’t know what to think. He wanted to hate this guy because he was practically stealing Jack away from him without lifting a finger (even though, Ianto told himself, he didn’t care). Moments ago he’d wanted to tell him to leave, come back later when the others were back, because yes, he was busy and he didn’t need some crazy alien fiddling with things and messing up the place. Instead, he found himself saying “Not …at all. Not busy. I’ll show you around.”
The Doctor honestly seemed impressed with the hub. He examined the occasional thing intensely, and ignored the rest, but he didn’t stop talking. Ianto was surprised; he never seemed to run out of comments, and his eyes lit up with wonder, almost like a child, although Jack had said the man’s age was deceiving. Apparently, Jack was a mere child in comparison to this man’s age.
“I like it! It’s got a very… underground feel to it. I mean, obviously, it is underground, but it’s subtle. Technical. And a bit mysterious,” The Doctor exclaimed, standing on the bridge and turning a whole 360 degrees to get a better view of the place. “Torchwood 3, am I right? 3. Torchwood 1 was a nightmare. You should have seen it! All military… very… ‘Spock’ I think is the term Rose would have used, although I don’t know what that means…” The grin fell from the Doctor face as he turned to face Ianto, who stood shuffling his feet, staring distantly down at the computer bay, a grimace on his face. “Ianto? Sorry, I talk too much, it’s stupid…”
He cleared his throat and forced a smile for the Doctor, informing him in as few words as possible that he had seen Torchwood 1, and calling him sir out of nervous habit. “Tea and coffee, it’s this way.” He said quickly, brushing past the Doctor and hopping up the few steps between them and the kitchenette where he spent a lot of his time.
“Oh, don’t call me ‘sir’,” The Doctor scowled, following him with slight surprise on his face. “I hate that… ooh, nice set up, though, in here. I take it the team are picky about their choices of hot beverage?”
Ianto snorted slightly, and shook his head. “Worse than picky. Too much sugar here or the wrong kind of milk there can turn them into monsters. Nothing about aliens could scare me after working for that lot.” He said with an amused smile, glancing at the Doctor before quickly turning back to the worktop with a frown. The Doctor watched him with a small chuckle, but he could tell something about Ianto was slightly broken, repressed maybe, and it made him a little sad.
As ever, he didn’t let it show.
“Your tea,” Ianto said, to move the conversation on. “How do you like it?”
“I can do-” The Doctor started to offer, but thought it impolite suddenly, since Ianto had already started to make it. “Thanks… black, two sugars.”
“Sooooo,” he said, clapping his hands together and rubbing them vigorously. “You saw Torchwood 1? Before or after the Cybermen? I don’t know what they did with the building after that attack, actually, I never stopped by to check… painful memories. I’m not a fan of revisiting painful memories.”
Ianto cleared his throat again, and the Doctor noted mentally that it seemed to be a nervous habit. He probably had hours to kill, he figured, so what better to do with his time than examine the place Jack had built in his honour and the staff that he loved? Quietly, of course…
With a deep breath, Ianto picked up the two mugs of tea and brushed past the Doctor again. “I worked there. As you said sir… painful memories.”
The Doctor hesitated for a moment before bounding after him. “It’s not sir… call me Doctor. Worked there?” He asked, eyebrows shooting up. “As what? I was under the impression they were all pretty crazy there, what with the ghost shift and opening the void… but I guess I was mistaken! You don’t seem so bad. Not at all.”
“Not all of us, Doctor.” Ianto said with a small smile. “Just the boss… I was a researcher. Until the Cybermen came… then Jack picked me up. After I helped him capture-”
Ianto’s sentence was drowned out completely by a massive shrill cry from above, followed by a loud crash, and a massive array of squeaks. “-helped him capture that. Excuse me a moment!”
The Doctor watched as Ianto set the tea aside on a near by desk and vaulted over the handrail of the nearby steps down into the room below. He moved closer, to get a better look at what the young man was doing, in time to see him wrestle a large winged creature to the tiled floor and reach into his breast pocket for… a bar of chocolate.
“Is that… is…” He asked in genuine surprise as Ianto victoriously wrestled something out of its mouth and replaced it with the chocolate. He waved a dying rat towards the Doctor and half-shouted “Got it!” as he ran back up the stairs. The massive beast spread its wings and shook them out, knocking over a table and a monitor in the process, before it took off.
“Watch out!” Ianto warned, pulling the Doctor aside, rat still in hand as the creature flew out of the autopsy bay, and up towards the ceiling.
Effectively, he’d pinned the Time Lord against a wall… and flattened himself against him. He looked up at those warm brown eyes again and tensed slightly, pulling away and letting go of the Doctor’s arms. “Sorry. Uh… Sorry. It’s just a little painful to get clipped by one of those wings.”
“I bet.” The Time Lord grinned back at him slightly before he turned to the retreating beast. “That was a…”
“A Pterodactyl. It slipped through the rift about 2 years ago.”
The Doctor nodded in slightly disbelieving understanding. “Right. And you’re holding a dead rat.”
With a frown, Ianto nodded and leant back over the railing to drop the rat into the waste bin. “We have a rat problem. We’re a bit more underground than need be, really. Can’t let it eat them, it gets sick.”
“You keep it like a pet?” The Doctor asked curiously, following Ianto back to their abandoned tea.
“We didn’t know what else to do with it. We can’t send anything back through the rift and so I look after it… what?”
The Doctor was staring at him quietly, tea mug lifted to his lips but still. He smiled slightly and took a gulp, groaning appreciatively. “I can see what Jack sees in you.” He said with a slightly nod and raised his mug before he turned away. “Good tea, by the way! Thank you.”
“My thoughts exactly…” Ianto muttered to himself, following the attractive man down one of the corridors as he wittered away about something. It was pretty hard to dislike someone that... that… alluring? Ianto wasn’t sure he knew what word to use for it. He was listening to what Ianto was saying. He was polite, he genuinely seemed interested in everything, and Ianto didn’t doubt for a second that he could be every bit the hero, bursting with ingenuity, just like Jack had described him. But something else occurred to the teaboy too. He walked a little faster to catch up with the taller man.
“Doctor,” He said quietly, a stride or two behind him. “You’re not taking Jack with you again, are you?”
The Time Lord slowed down slightly and sipped his tea again. “Would you like that?” He chuckled. “I could give the rest of you a break from babysitting him.”
Ianto smiled, despite himself, and took a drink from his own mug. “I think I’m slightly more of a handful, actually, Doctor.”
The Doctor raised an eyebrow, pausing as he considered that thought when something bleeped ahead of them. He hesitated, about to say something, before turning towards the sound. “…What was that?”
“Just one of the computers... that’ll be incoming data,” Ianto shrugged, heading towards it and setting his mug down on a desk. “They’re investigating a signal. They all went, because it was causing quite a disturbance.”
“And not you? You’re still a researcher?” The Doctor asked, pulling a stall up beside him and bouncing onto it. “Huh, the picture isn’t clear, but that’s a Graske. That’s what they’re investigating?”
“More like a butler if I’m honest.” Ianto scowled. “Yeah, that’s what they’re chasing. I’ll have to let them know it’s called a Graske when they bring it back. They’re always giving things names they’ve made up.”
“A butler?”
“It’s better than working for Torchwood 1, Doctor.”
“You’re… a butler.” The Doctor span around on his stool to face the younger man. Ianto nodded and looked down at his hands, feeling the intense stare of the Time Lord on him as he was looked up and down. The Doctor was wondering what to say, as he had been before the Graske had popped up onto to the computer screen. He meant it when he said he could see what Jack saw in Ianto. The man was sweet, and clearly protective… and though he could tell from his nervous habits and the way he dismissed his own jokes, there was more to his story than he spoken about, there was still shine in his eyes that gave away how much more innocent he was than he thought. Grounded, too, and responsible. He was someone to come home to… Everything Jack needed, if the Doctor was honest. What Jack definitely didn’t need was someone like himself. He didn’t need someone unreliable, dangerous, with years of pain tucked away in his mind. And definitely not someone who could never promise what time period they were in, or even what planet they were on. Yep, Ianto was everything Jack needed. The Doctor just wasn’t sure that went vice versa.
“When’s the last time someone did something for you?” He asked, realizing he’d been staring for quite some time now. Ianto was taken slightly by surprise.
“What?” He said, stepping back a little, almost defensively. “Jack does stuff for me all the time.”
“I’m sure.” The Doctor said, screwing up his face a little at the thought of what that might imply. Perhaps not a disgusting thought, but this was not the time or place to be thinking about that. “I meant actually for you. Something selfless, for your benefit.”
Ianto looked uncomfortable at the question; as the Doctor suspected. He cleared his throat again and said, “I don’t know. We’re a team. We don’t do things that-“
“How about selfish, then? When did you last do something for yourself?” The Doctor cut him off, one hand coming to rest against his arm. “And don’t give me that rubbish about being a team… everyone knows how selfish Jack can be when he gets the chance…”
“Like leaving us to be with you,” Ianto said quietly, his voice dark, his blue eyes still fixed on the floor.
“Yeah… yes.” The Doctor sighed. “Did he tell you why?”
“No. He didn’t tell us anything. Not even goodbye.” Ianto said in slight disgust, stepping away from the Doctor and turning to the computer. “One can only imagine, Doctor.”
The Time Lord was quiet for a moment, shaking his head. “I don’t think you can imagine, actually, Ianto Jones.” He said firmly. The younger man looked round at him sceptically. The Doctor bobbed his eyebrows, tilted his head slightly and said, “But I can show you.”
All feedback welcomed, appreciated, waited patiently for.
The book was a 31st century edition of ‘Come Back, Dr. Caligari’. It was number 421 on the list of 1001 books to read before you die. He’d borrowed it and several other sack loads of reading material from the Doctor - or rather, had been leant them by force, but liked to pretend he had borrowed them because things borrowed must be returned and that meant he had to see the Doctor again sometime. The Doctor had said the list was timeless, although he’d scribbled a few of his own reading suggestions down for Jack as well, things that had been written after 2006. He’d also said that Jack ought to be ashamed that he hadn’t read them all, seeing as he had died at least 1001 times already. Today was as good a time as any to start. He’d chosen it at random - his third choice, because he didn’t much feel like reading ‘The Master’ or ‘Dead Air’, which were the first two he’d picked up, after the trials he’d been put through in the last couple of years. If nothing else, it would pass the time.
A knock at the door startled him out of his trance and he veered his head away from the glass window, eyebrows raised, to find Gwen standing in the open doorway behind him.
She didn’t wait for his acknowledgement to speak. She’d never have to. “I don’t suppose you mind Ianto being here after we all go home,” She said with a slightly nervous chuckle, staring distantly past the Captain as she spoke. Jack did mind, but he was too amused by her awkwardness to point that out, and nodded instead. She gave him a pained smile, one that wasn’t really a smile at all, one he recognised as bad news. Gwen had mastered the ability to grin and bear it when times were hard, and he could tell she was doing so now by the way she was gritting her teeth behind her closed lips. With a small intake of breath, he smiled back and braced himself for the bombshell. “He’s gone missing, Jack. You didn’t send him out for anything did you?”
He wasn’t expecting that. The smile must have fallen from his face because her eyes widened with slight unsettle. “Did you?”
“No.” Jack informed her with a sigh. He really had been ready to settle in for a whole day alone with his thoughts and a quiet evening with a bottle of scotch. Rubbing his temples, he frowned, and asked for clarification. “What exactly do you mean by ‘gone missing’?”
“Well, he’s not in the hub. I went looking for him so I could tell him to go home and-”
“Have you run a computer check on his location?” The Captain cut her off. It really wasn’t like Ianto to wander off somewhere, especially without asking Jack explicitly for permission, which was a habit the teaboy had never been able to shake. “Have you asked the others?” His quiet evening in was so not happening.
Gwen nodded glumly. “The computer isn’t picking anything up. Not in a fifty mile radius at least… I asked Mickey to do a wider scan, although it seems pretty crazy to have to search that far. No ones seen him since we left to chase that little nuisance of an alien earlier… but that’s barely enough time to drive that far…”
She was making it sound like he’d done a runner on them. Jack frowned deeper and tapped his chin. The situation was a little more serious than she’d made out when she’d first walked in. “Don’t jump to conclusions. I doubt he’s just run off, Gwen.” He said sternly, sliding his feet down off the desk and chucking the untouched book back onto it. He tightened his boots; situations like this had a bad habit of suddenly requiring a lot of sprinting. “What makes you think he’s driving? Is his car gone?”
For a moment, Gwen was speechless, as if she hadn’t thought to check yet. Jack rolled his eyes and stood up. “I take it you don’t know. Come on, lets give him a ring, and perhaps then I can finally get some peace and quiet.”
“I did think of that, you know.” Gwen said, snapping slightly and folding her arms in her defence. “He’s not answering.”
Jack chuckled slightly, passing her to get to the door. “His other phone, then. His private line, reserved just for me,” Laughing again as she screwed up her face slightly, considering the implications of what he’d said. Oh, it’d be cruel not to follow that up with something worse. Jack paused and threw a glance over his shoulder at her. “For when I need him to… y’know… come on!” He said with a wink, wetting his lips slightly as he disappeared into the corridor.
Three hours earlier, Ianto had waved Gwen, Martha and Mickey goodbye, and then Jack, after being groped slightly, as they’d headed out the door to the tourist office to investigate an average looking reading they’d picked up that was causing more trouble than it was worth.
Jack was differently recently. Since reality itself had almost ended, and more prominently the Dalek’s had attacked Earth, he’d been a lot more hands-on about their relationship in front of the others, and wasn’t really spending anytime with him behind closed doors. He was missing Jack’s touch - real touch, not just rough caresses and short, dispassionate kisses. It was almost like Jack was showing him off to Martha and Mickey, but Ianto could tell that wasn’t it. He missed the neediness and the contained lust; and not that they’d ever done that much talking, but he missed that too. He missed the connection between them, really. But, Ianto supposed, the time had to come at some point. For a man who would live forever, what was the point in sticking to any one thing that made you happy? Why settle for anything when eternity was in reach? Perhaps seeing the universe almost destroyed, Jack had finally had a revelation about the fact he was going to lose everyone at some point, simply through the trials of time and figured the sooner it happened, the easier it would be to take. Perhaps he was just getting bored. Ianto told himself he didn’t care. He told himself what he and Jack shared was just lust. All Jack ever wanted came in a large blue box anyway; not a boring suit and a purple tie. He was just too ordinary, he told himself. All he’d ever be was baggage.
He tried not to think about it. He’d talk to Jack about it when he returned, perhaps.
They’d probably been gone for half an hour when he’d heard the noise. He almost even recognized it by now; the noise was something he associated with Torchwood, and Jack, and he brushed it off as nothing, machinery perhaps, and continued with what he was doing.
At the time, he was fixing the security cameras around the hub; the one in the tourist office was the worst - the picture was ridiculously blurry but it didn’t seem to be a problem with the actual lens, but instead the transmission. Since everyone was out, Ianto deemed it safe enough to shut down the camera network for a little while and with any luck, he’d have them up and running properly again by the time the others returned.
When he heard the door open, he jumped slightly and turned too quickly to see who it was; half an hour was pretty quick to sort out a rift disturbance so he was hardly expecting Jack to be back but he couldn’t help but get his hopes up a little. Perhaps they could have that chat he’d been thinking about…
If you’ve ever pivoted round on one foot, too quickly, standing on a chair, you know how easy it is to fall; the chair was far from stable anyway and Ianto found himself slipping forwards and heading face first towards the floor. He shut his eyes and waved his hands out in front of him for something to grab onto.
Instead, he was caught and steadied by two strong arms, almost knocking the other person over too in the process. When Ianto opened his eyes again, he was staring into two brown ones, warm with the smile that spread out from the man’s lips all over his face. “H-hello…” He stuttered slightly breathlessly, now altogether embarrassed. “I mean… thanks…”
“No problemo! Ooh, another one I should never say again…” The brown eyes danced with amusement as the grin spread impossibly wider and the arms loosened slightly around him. “Careful now, Ianto, you could get hurt. I doubt Jack would want to play with damaged goods!”
The mindless, playful insult and the mention of Jack’s name brought Ianto back to reality and he pushed himself back as he realised just whose arms he’d stumbled so ungracefully into. “Right,” He said curtly, clearing his throat. In front of him stood the man who had, so Ianto had been told, saved the universe more times than he’d had hot dinners. The man who had stopped the Dalek’s a hundred times over, sewn the threads of space and time back together, been to the end of all existence. The man who was destroying his relationship just by being alive, who could steal his lover as easily as just taking his hand, a man who was infinitely better than him, just because. It was hard to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “I honestly don’t think he cares. Jack isn’t here right now. Is there anything I can help you with, Doctor?”
It took everything he had in him not to spit out the Doctors name like a curse, but if there was one thing Ianto Jones really was talented at, it was pretending to be impassive, and making a good impression. He told himself to bear in mind that maybe the Doctor wasn’t here to see Jack, because Mickey and Martha were also companions of his, so he’d heard. He told himself he didn’t care anyway.
“Oh…” The Doctor said thoughtfully, dragging out the word, eyes darting all over the room. “Okay, I came all this way to see Jack, so I’ll just wait, I suppose!” - Ianto breathed in sharply, but forced a smile anyway - “A nice cup of tea wouldn’t kill me though… where do you keep the kettle? Oh, can I see the hub, whilst I wait? You’re not too busy are you? I wouldn’t want to intrude… stupid me, turning up out of the blue, asking for things. I’m sure I can show myself around! Tell you what… just show me the kettle. I’ll do the rest myself. Do you want a cup? Or coffee… I remember; Jack drinks coffee… bleurgh!”
Ianto was slightly stunned. He’d only ever met the Doctor over a computer screen a month or so ago… despite that, and what he’d heard at Torchwood 1, he hadn’t known what to expect; only that Jack really liked him and so fundamentally, he didn’t. Frankly… it had been a long time since someone had asked him if he was too busy to help them… and even longer since someone had offered to make him coffee.
And now he didn’t know what to think. He wanted to hate this guy because he was practically stealing Jack away from him without lifting a finger (even though, Ianto told himself, he didn’t care). Moments ago he’d wanted to tell him to leave, come back later when the others were back, because yes, he was busy and he didn’t need some crazy alien fiddling with things and messing up the place. Instead, he found himself saying “Not …at all. Not busy. I’ll show you around.”
The Doctor honestly seemed impressed with the hub. He examined the occasional thing intensely, and ignored the rest, but he didn’t stop talking. Ianto was surprised; he never seemed to run out of comments, and his eyes lit up with wonder, almost like a child, although Jack had said the man’s age was deceiving. Apparently, Jack was a mere child in comparison to this man’s age.
“I like it! It’s got a very… underground feel to it. I mean, obviously, it is underground, but it’s subtle. Technical. And a bit mysterious,” The Doctor exclaimed, standing on the bridge and turning a whole 360 degrees to get a better view of the place. “Torchwood 3, am I right? 3. Torchwood 1 was a nightmare. You should have seen it! All military… very… ‘Spock’ I think is the term Rose would have used, although I don’t know what that means…” The grin fell from the Doctor face as he turned to face Ianto, who stood shuffling his feet, staring distantly down at the computer bay, a grimace on his face. “Ianto? Sorry, I talk too much, it’s stupid…”
He cleared his throat and forced a smile for the Doctor, informing him in as few words as possible that he had seen Torchwood 1, and calling him sir out of nervous habit. “Tea and coffee, it’s this way.” He said quickly, brushing past the Doctor and hopping up the few steps between them and the kitchenette where he spent a lot of his time.
“Oh, don’t call me ‘sir’,” The Doctor scowled, following him with slight surprise on his face. “I hate that… ooh, nice set up, though, in here. I take it the team are picky about their choices of hot beverage?”
Ianto snorted slightly, and shook his head. “Worse than picky. Too much sugar here or the wrong kind of milk there can turn them into monsters. Nothing about aliens could scare me after working for that lot.” He said with an amused smile, glancing at the Doctor before quickly turning back to the worktop with a frown. The Doctor watched him with a small chuckle, but he could tell something about Ianto was slightly broken, repressed maybe, and it made him a little sad.
As ever, he didn’t let it show.
“Your tea,” Ianto said, to move the conversation on. “How do you like it?”
“I can do-” The Doctor started to offer, but thought it impolite suddenly, since Ianto had already started to make it. “Thanks… black, two sugars.”
“Sooooo,” he said, clapping his hands together and rubbing them vigorously. “You saw Torchwood 1? Before or after the Cybermen? I don’t know what they did with the building after that attack, actually, I never stopped by to check… painful memories. I’m not a fan of revisiting painful memories.”
Ianto cleared his throat again, and the Doctor noted mentally that it seemed to be a nervous habit. He probably had hours to kill, he figured, so what better to do with his time than examine the place Jack had built in his honour and the staff that he loved? Quietly, of course…
With a deep breath, Ianto picked up the two mugs of tea and brushed past the Doctor again. “I worked there. As you said sir… painful memories.”
The Doctor hesitated for a moment before bounding after him. “It’s not sir… call me Doctor. Worked there?” He asked, eyebrows shooting up. “As what? I was under the impression they were all pretty crazy there, what with the ghost shift and opening the void… but I guess I was mistaken! You don’t seem so bad. Not at all.”
“Not all of us, Doctor.” Ianto said with a small smile. “Just the boss… I was a researcher. Until the Cybermen came… then Jack picked me up. After I helped him capture-”
Ianto’s sentence was drowned out completely by a massive shrill cry from above, followed by a loud crash, and a massive array of squeaks. “-helped him capture that. Excuse me a moment!”
The Doctor watched as Ianto set the tea aside on a near by desk and vaulted over the handrail of the nearby steps down into the room below. He moved closer, to get a better look at what the young man was doing, in time to see him wrestle a large winged creature to the tiled floor and reach into his breast pocket for… a bar of chocolate.
“Is that… is…” He asked in genuine surprise as Ianto victoriously wrestled something out of its mouth and replaced it with the chocolate. He waved a dying rat towards the Doctor and half-shouted “Got it!” as he ran back up the stairs. The massive beast spread its wings and shook them out, knocking over a table and a monitor in the process, before it took off.
“Watch out!” Ianto warned, pulling the Doctor aside, rat still in hand as the creature flew out of the autopsy bay, and up towards the ceiling.
Effectively, he’d pinned the Time Lord against a wall… and flattened himself against him. He looked up at those warm brown eyes again and tensed slightly, pulling away and letting go of the Doctor’s arms. “Sorry. Uh… Sorry. It’s just a little painful to get clipped by one of those wings.”
“I bet.” The Time Lord grinned back at him slightly before he turned to the retreating beast. “That was a…”
“A Pterodactyl. It slipped through the rift about 2 years ago.”
The Doctor nodded in slightly disbelieving understanding. “Right. And you’re holding a dead rat.”
With a frown, Ianto nodded and leant back over the railing to drop the rat into the waste bin. “We have a rat problem. We’re a bit more underground than need be, really. Can’t let it eat them, it gets sick.”
“You keep it like a pet?” The Doctor asked curiously, following Ianto back to their abandoned tea.
“We didn’t know what else to do with it. We can’t send anything back through the rift and so I look after it… what?”
The Doctor was staring at him quietly, tea mug lifted to his lips but still. He smiled slightly and took a gulp, groaning appreciatively. “I can see what Jack sees in you.” He said with a slightly nod and raised his mug before he turned away. “Good tea, by the way! Thank you.”
“My thoughts exactly…” Ianto muttered to himself, following the attractive man down one of the corridors as he wittered away about something. It was pretty hard to dislike someone that... that… alluring? Ianto wasn’t sure he knew what word to use for it. He was listening to what Ianto was saying. He was polite, he genuinely seemed interested in everything, and Ianto didn’t doubt for a second that he could be every bit the hero, bursting with ingenuity, just like Jack had described him. But something else occurred to the teaboy too. He walked a little faster to catch up with the taller man.
“Doctor,” He said quietly, a stride or two behind him. “You’re not taking Jack with you again, are you?”
The Time Lord slowed down slightly and sipped his tea again. “Would you like that?” He chuckled. “I could give the rest of you a break from babysitting him.”
Ianto smiled, despite himself, and took a drink from his own mug. “I think I’m slightly more of a handful, actually, Doctor.”
The Doctor raised an eyebrow, pausing as he considered that thought when something bleeped ahead of them. He hesitated, about to say something, before turning towards the sound. “…What was that?”
“Just one of the computers... that’ll be incoming data,” Ianto shrugged, heading towards it and setting his mug down on a desk. “They’re investigating a signal. They all went, because it was causing quite a disturbance.”
“And not you? You’re still a researcher?” The Doctor asked, pulling a stall up beside him and bouncing onto it. “Huh, the picture isn’t clear, but that’s a Graske. That’s what they’re investigating?”
“More like a butler if I’m honest.” Ianto scowled. “Yeah, that’s what they’re chasing. I’ll have to let them know it’s called a Graske when they bring it back. They’re always giving things names they’ve made up.”
“A butler?”
“It’s better than working for Torchwood 1, Doctor.”
“You’re… a butler.” The Doctor span around on his stool to face the younger man. Ianto nodded and looked down at his hands, feeling the intense stare of the Time Lord on him as he was looked up and down. The Doctor was wondering what to say, as he had been before the Graske had popped up onto to the computer screen. He meant it when he said he could see what Jack saw in Ianto. The man was sweet, and clearly protective… and though he could tell from his nervous habits and the way he dismissed his own jokes, there was more to his story than he spoken about, there was still shine in his eyes that gave away how much more innocent he was than he thought. Grounded, too, and responsible. He was someone to come home to… Everything Jack needed, if the Doctor was honest. What Jack definitely didn’t need was someone like himself. He didn’t need someone unreliable, dangerous, with years of pain tucked away in his mind. And definitely not someone who could never promise what time period they were in, or even what planet they were on. Yep, Ianto was everything Jack needed. The Doctor just wasn’t sure that went vice versa.
“When’s the last time someone did something for you?” He asked, realizing he’d been staring for quite some time now. Ianto was taken slightly by surprise.
“What?” He said, stepping back a little, almost defensively. “Jack does stuff for me all the time.”
“I’m sure.” The Doctor said, screwing up his face a little at the thought of what that might imply. Perhaps not a disgusting thought, but this was not the time or place to be thinking about that. “I meant actually for you. Something selfless, for your benefit.”
Ianto looked uncomfortable at the question; as the Doctor suspected. He cleared his throat again and said, “I don’t know. We’re a team. We don’t do things that-“
“How about selfish, then? When did you last do something for yourself?” The Doctor cut him off, one hand coming to rest against his arm. “And don’t give me that rubbish about being a team… everyone knows how selfish Jack can be when he gets the chance…”
“Like leaving us to be with you,” Ianto said quietly, his voice dark, his blue eyes still fixed on the floor.
“Yeah… yes.” The Doctor sighed. “Did he tell you why?”
“No. He didn’t tell us anything. Not even goodbye.” Ianto said in slight disgust, stepping away from the Doctor and turning to the computer. “One can only imagine, Doctor.”
The Time Lord was quiet for a moment, shaking his head. “I don’t think you can imagine, actually, Ianto Jones.” He said firmly. The younger man looked round at him sceptically. The Doctor bobbed his eyebrows, tilted his head slightly and said, “But I can show you.”
All feedback welcomed, appreciated, waited patiently for.