Title: The Consequences of Incorrect Storage
Prompt: Star
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2515
Summary: Torchwood rake up a new present from the Rift, along with a few devices that regulations state should be safely packed away in the archives...
The Consequences of Incorrect Storage
“Jack,” Ianto sighed, as yet another netful of rusting, dripping alien tech was dumped beside them, “I know it’s suitably dramatic and satisfies your need to throw something after a stressful day at the office, but could you please stop dumping alien devices in the Bay?”
Jack, leaning on the jetty railing, didn’t even turn round. Ianto cleared his throat and added, “The fish have been complaining, or I wouldn’t say anything...”
“Fish?” Gwen repeated incredulously, and Ianto raised an eyebrow at her. She sighed. “Point taken.”
“Some things are better off here than in the archives,” Jack told them.
Ianto opened his mouth, then thought better of it and simply shook his head, crouching down to sort through the growing pile of salvaged devices. A few he recognised from personal experience, and nudged them aside with the back of his gloved hands, unwilling to touch them for too long - and certainly not with his bare skin. Others he knew from pictures and drawings in the appropriate folders in the archives, and some he didn’t know at all (a few he thought were probably just normal Earth junk).
Gwen shivered and shoved her hands deeper into her pockets, asking Jack, “How much longer is this going to take?”
Jack shrugged. One foot up on the lower railing, forearms braced against the higher bar, he stared down at the water as the net went down again for another load. After this one they could probably haul up the glowing sphere that had sparked the whole operation.
“These aren’t dangerous,” Ianto said, and Gwen looked back quickly as he indicated one of the three groups of artefacts. “If you’d care to take some of them indoors and bring back one of the secure boxes for the rest, please, I’ll sort the rest out as it comes.”
With a nod, Gwen collected up a few of the harmless pieces, and asked, “Where do you want me to put them?”
“Coffee table by the archive entrance?” Ianto suggested. “That’ll make it easier when I file everything later.”
Gwen gave him a smile and headed indoors.
After a few moments another array of technology and refuse tumbled from the net to the planks. Ianto promptly started sorting them out again, a little dismayed by some of the devices he was turning up.
“Jack, this is active,” he said loudly, as a Calrethan matter converter glowed at his touch. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“Help me bring this down,” Jack said, ignoring the question and stepping back from the railing as the glowing sphere, at least a foot across, finally swung in over his head. Ianto got to his feet as soon as he’d deactivated the converter, and reached up to grab the net and lower it to the planks.
“Reminds me of that story about the moon reflected in a pond,” Jack said absently, as they pulled the net away from the glowing orb and gingerly rolled it free.
“And everyone thought it had fallen in,” Ianto finished, smiling. “Is this dangerous?”
“Nope,” Jack assured him, “I know exactly what this does.”
“How many times have I heard that?” Ianto asked, as Gwen returned with a secure containment box. Ianto carefully started packing away the more dangerous items, while Jack prodded the orb and Gwen got rid of the crew they’d managed to drag out to the Bay for the salvage job, on Christmas Day of all days.
“This,” Jack told them proudly, “is a Reshinath greeting capsule. Message in a bottle, if you like.”
At Gwen’s blank look, he grinned, and said, “You lot send out mathematical equations and blood samples that leave the whole planet open to attack. You should know by now you’re not the only ones.”
“Like the Pulse,” Ianto said.
Jack nodded, with a smile, and told them, “But this is a bit more advanced.”
He stroked the sphere, and it fell open beneath his hands, releasing a shower of light and soft sound - but only for a second. It cut off abruptly, and Jack frowned. The sphere closed.
“It shouldn’t be doing that,” he muttered, stroking it again. “Crap. Sorry. Still, it’s got another function that should be fun. It’s a data recorder as well. Delivers its little message, does a quick recce, then heads home. Nice little trade of information, no trouble to either side, everybody’s happy.”
“Is it recording now?” Ianto asked cautiously.
“Not yet,” Jack told him. “It’ll take a few minutes after the message delivery. Gives the recipients time to form some kind of reply, you see. And since it happens to have turned up here on this most appropriately peaceful and happy day of the year, I figured we’d show the Reshinans what lovely, joyful people you all are.”
Gwen covered her mouth, while Ianto made a strangled noise. Jack just grinned at them both.
“You’re having a traditional Christmas dinner, right, Gwen?”
“When I finally get to go home, yes,” she said, pointedly. “What are you getting at?”
Jack picked up the sphere, and gave Gwen what was probably meant to be a winning smile.
“Can we come take a few pictures? We won’t intrude - it’s just for illustration. I’m just gonna try and explain the whole traditions thing and it’s way easier with pictures. Particularly since I forgot most of my Reshinan a long time ago…”
Ianto sealed the containment box and gathered up a bundle of the harmless and deactivated tech. He left Jack wheedling his way into Gwen agreeing, and tidied the devices into the Hub in a few runs. By the time he’d finished, Gwen had been talked round despite herself.
“Ianto, SUV,” Jack said cheerfully. “I’ve got this on pause until we get there…”
~*~
“Rhys,” Gwen yelled when they got to her flat, “I’m home.”
“Just in time, lovely,” Rhys yelled back from the kitchen, putting the finishing touches to the turkey and turning round with a huge grin on his face - that faded dramatically when he saw Jack and Ianto following Gwen in. He shot a nervous look at Gwen.
“Aliens in the crackers? Are the sprouts going to come alive and eat me instead? What now?”
“It’s all fine,” Jack said cheerfully, and Gwen nodded.
“Jack just wants some photos of the tree -”
“And dinner,” Ianto added.
“- and dinner, thank you Ianto, anyway, photos, for this time capsule thing we picked up. Earth traditions, that sort of thing. It’s nothing. Won’t take a minute.”
“We want to show them the best Cardiff has to offer,” Jack chipped in, with a grin, and Rhys visibly brightened.
“Oh aye? Came to the right place, then, didn’t you?”
Gwen smiled, and went to give him a hug and a kiss, while Jack opened up the sphere and turned to the tree. He muttered a few words in another language, set the sphere on the table, and stepped back.
A bright white light spread slowly from the centre of the orb, and crept over the dishes, crackers and food laid out on the little table. Rhys turned around, proudly holding the turkey, just in time to see the first of the dishes vanish into thin air.
“Oi!” he yelled, while Gwen shrieked, “Jack!” and the light spread out from the table.
Jack grabbed Ianto’s arm and yanked him to the floor, rolling under the table as the tree disappeared and Rhys shouted, “That’s my bloo-”
Everything went quiet. After a moment the light cut out, and, in the silence, the orb slid shut again with a gentle click.
“What did you do?” Ianto asked in horror, crawling out from under the table and looking around at Gwen’s flat. All the furnishings, decorations, and random objects lying around - everything that wasn’t screwed to the wall, ceiling or floor, with the single exception of the table - had vanished. As had Rhys and Gwen themselves.
Jack stared at the empty space, and then at the orb.
“Shit.”
“What,” Ianto repeated, slower, “did you do?”
Jack shook his head and reached out to the orb, then pulled back, saying, “I - I just turned on the recorder, there’s no way it can have done this…”
“Are they alive?” Ianto asked quietly. “Rhys and Gwen?”
Jack gave him a stricken look, and he swallowed hard.
“We need to get this back to the Hub and work out what the hell went wrong. Jack. What went wrong?”
“I don’t know,” Jack said, hoarsely, then suddenly reached out and picked up the sphere. “Hub. Now.”
He bolted from the flat and leaped down the staircase to get back to the SUV, with Ianto hard on his heels all the way.
~*~
An hour of fruitless testing in the Hub had Jack near the end of his tether and Ianto racking his brains for anything that could possibly explain their predicament. He had his head in his hands, sitting at Toshiko’s old desk with the orb hooked up to her systems, and Jack pacing furiously behind him.
“What have we not considered?” he sighed, trying to go through things methodically, and Jack gave a growl and kicked the coffee table viciously.
“Careful!” Ianto snapped, whirling around as a handful of the harmless devices from the Bay showered from the table. “We’re in enough trouble without…”
“Without what?” Jack shouted. “Without me making things worse? I already know this is my fault, Ianto and it can’t get a whole lot worse right now, so I don’t need you trying to make me feel -”
“Shh,” Ianto told him, one hand raised, staring at the coffee table.
“What?” Jack said flatly.
Ianto got up from his chair, still staring at the coffee table, hand still raised, and said, “Just… just a minute. All these devices from the Bay… I told you earlier it wasn’t safe. The sphere was in there with them. What if they affected the systems somehow?”
“Corrupted the programming?” Jack said slowly. “But… what could…?”
Ianto glanced at the secure containment box by the archive entrance, then looked up at Jack as he did the same. Jack’s eyes widened, and he turned to Ianto.
Slowly, Ianto said, “The Calrethan -”
“- matter converter!” Jack finished. “That’s it! That has to be! They’ve been converted. But -”
Ianto raised a hand to stop him again, and said, “The sphere is a recording device. Maybe instead of taking a picture it converted the real things into data, which it has stored inside it.”
Jack lunged at the coffee table, sweeping all the harmless devices onto the floor and then dashing to unhook the sphere and position it in the centre of the table instead.
“This simple,” he muttered to himself, stepping back. “Please, let it be this simple. I just - I… Ianto, I don’t know if I can remember the command for the playback. I mean, playing the original message is one thing, but unlocking the reconnaissance data is something else entirely. I can’t afford to do this wrong.”
“You got the rest of it right,” Ianto pointed out. “Take your time. I’ll let you know if it starts doing anything funny.”
He brought up the internal readings for the Hub and focused in on the dormant orb, then shot Jack a quick glance. Jack stood and stared at the sphere for a few moments longer, one arm wrapped around himself, the other hand curled at his mouth, murmuring odd syllables under his breath.
Ianto bit his tongue and waited until Jack finally shook himself, took a deep breath, and said, “Okay. Okay. I think I remember it.”
He knelt by the coffee table, and held his wrist strap up to the orb, pressing a few buttons and then muttering a whole string of alien words as he ran two fingers over the surface of the orb in a spiraling, repetitive pattern. Then he held his breath.
The orb glowed, fell open, and let the light flood out.
Ianto got to his feet when plates of food appeared on the coffee table, then stepped sharply aside as a Christmas tree and presents popped into existence right beside Toshiko’s workstation. He heard a splash behind him as Gwen’s sofa appeared just above the Rift pool, and then -
“-dy dinner!” shouted Rhys, and stopped abruptly. He and Gwen stepped forward from the arch of the autopsy room, and looked around, startled.
Jack leapt to his feet and swept Gwen into a tight hug.
“I’m sorry,” he started, “I’m really -”
Gwen pulled back and slapped him, shouting, “Don’t you ever pull a stunt like that again!” and Rhys shot her a look of pride and vindication, then both noticed their furniture now lying around in the Hub.
They drew breath to yell in unison.
~*~
Eventually, Rhys and Gwen made it back home, minus a lot of damaged furniture and a spoiled dinner, but otherwise intact and unharmed, much to Jack and Ianto’s relief.
Jack gave both of them a kiss as they departed, since Ianto had thoughtfully installed mistletoe above the Tourist Information door, and wished them a heartfelt, “Merry Christmas - even if I did kinda ruin it already. Did I mention I’m sorry?”
“Only a couple of hundred times,” Gwen sighed. “It’s alright, Jack. We’re still here. But you’re bloody well paying for a new sofa.”
“And the telly,” Rhys added. “And the computer, and -”
“Give me a list,” Jack told him, still wearing his most apologetic face.
“Oh, we will,” Rhys began, but Gwen steered him out of the Hub and for home, throwing a casual, “Merry Christmas, Ianto,” over her shoulder as they went.
Jack closed the door and exchanged a look with Ianto. After a moment’s pause, Ianto gave him a quick and slightly awkward hug, then turned to head back downstairs.
“What are we doing with the sphere?” he asked, as Jack followed him to the lift.
“Ah,” Jack said. “Well, I figure there’s still one command left that I haven’t used yet. Maybe this one’ll actually work like it’s meant to.”
Ianto raised an eyebrow.
“I’m gonna send it home,” Jack explained. “If it works, it should be pretty nice.”
“Alright,” Ianto agreed, as the lift arrived. Jack strolled over to the coffee table to fetch the sphere, then they both made their way to the paving stone lift, and up to the Plass.
“Give me a second,” Jack said, crouching down and putting the sphere on the ground, again using a combination of his wrist strap, a spoken command, and a physical touch to activate the sphere. Then he stepped back, taking Ianto’s wrist to pull him a few steps away as well, as the orb rose slowly up to eye level.
Suddenly, the orb elongated impossibly, making Ianto’s eyes water as it stretched up, and up, and up - and then it shot into the sky as he blinked, leaving him staring up at the twinkling lights.
“That was quite cool,” he admitted, and Jack laughed.
“Merry Christmas, Ianto,” he said softly.
Ianto kissed him, then pulled away to smile.
“Merry Christmas, Jack. At last.”