4x03: love child!
Why, Blaine Anderson from Glee, of course!
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"David," Bryan says, setting the knife down on the cutting board, a worried look on his face. "I think Blaine might be doing drugs." David chokes a little on his sip of coffee, staring at his husband with wide eyes. Even though he's been up for hours longer than Bryan, he still feels it's much too early to process information like this.
"What? Why would you possibly think that?" Bryan has been known to come up with elaborate ideas in his head, so David doesn't think he's asking too much. In response, he gets a sassy glare, Bryan's hand on his hip as he cocks it to the side. "Honey, our son is a good boy. We've never had to worry about anything with him before. He doesn't even go drinking! He wears bowties. I think we're safe."
"Then why is he so private with his phone?" Bryan shoots back. "Every time I get near him and he's got it out, he freaks out and hides it from me! And forget about him letting me into his room, it's like anytime I'm near it, he comes out of it and won't let me in. Tell me that's not suspicious, David."
In all honesty, it is suspicious, but David can't put his finger on what he thinks is really going on. "He can't get drugs on his phone," he says diplomatically, speaking slowly as he tries to work it out. It hits him in a rush, looking up at Bryan with wide eyes. "Oh my god, what if he has a girlfriend?" Bryan squeals loudly, his eyes wide, and he claps his hands together.
"Oh my god, oh my god, you're right! Our little boy is growing up! He has his first girlfriend!" David begins counting down the seconds in his head, knowing Bryan will go mad when he realizes that Blaine has been keeping it from them and not trusting them. "Why didn't he tell us?!" He checks his watch. Ten seconds. That has to be a new record.
"Bry, maybe he's not ready to tell us. That's his decision."
"There's only one thing we can do in this situation, you know." David looks up nervously, not knowing what to expect. "We spy on him."
---
David kind of hates himself for ending up at a table in Starbucks with Bryan a week later, knowing that Blaine comes in after school every day to get his medium drip. They both have on hats and sunglasses, trying to blend in, which probably means they stick out most of all. But when Blaine walks in, he walks right by them, getting his drink and sitting at a table of his own.
"This is so wrong," David whispers, hiding behind his cup. Bryan holds up a hand, like he doesn't want to hear it, watching Blaine intently before looking around at the girls in line.
"Oh, I hope it's not her," he groans as he watches a bleached blonde girl step to the front of the line. "I don't know if I can deal with anyone so Hollywood. Blaine is above all that, you know?"
"The girl behind her is cute," David says, inspecting a dark haired girl. "They'd look so perfect together, with their dark coloring and--"
"David," Bryan gasps, clutching onto his husband's arm, nodding toward the table. "Look." They both watch as a boy about Blaine's age slides into the chair opposite him, their bodies leaning together in a way that speaks volumes. Their hands find each other on top of the table and David can't ever remember seeing his son smile that wide. "Is... could he be..."
"Blaine has a boyfriend," David breathes out, his eyes wide, and then it's his turn to be indignant. "Why didn't he tell us? He has to know we wouldn't-- Bryan, where are you going??" Bryan is getting up from the table, taking his sunglasses off, wearing his 'I'm a big television producer' smile, which David feels is now doubling for his 'if you hurt my son, I'm going to hurt you' smile. Groaning, he gets up, keeping his distance but allowing himself to be close enough to listen in.
"Hi there, Bryan Collins," he says as he brandishes a hand at the boy, who looks stunned. Blaine's eyes are wide, his mouth falling open, and he's so red that David wants to push his husband out of the way and save his son from humiliation. Rushing over, he hears the boy answer, "Kurt Hummel" in a soft but confident voice. Bryan grins wider, looking at Blaine before he turns back to Kurt. "I'm Blaine's father."
"Papa," Blaine groans, hiding his face. "Can we not do this here? Please?" Bryan just laughs and David feels like he has to interfere.
"Bryan, leave him alone," he insists, and Blaine's face turns even redder. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I tried to stop him before he came up and embarrassed you."
"Were you guys spying on me?" Blaine asks incredulously, his face still bright red.
"Your father here," David starts, laying a hand on Bryan's back before he can start talking. "Thought that you were doing drugs. So I wanted to prove to him that you weren't. But I have to say, we're a little surprised that--"
"I know," Blaine blurts out in a weak voice, covering his face. "I know. I should've said something, but I didn't want... well." David knows exactly what he's not saying: he didn't want Bryan to make a big deal out of things. Which, of course, he is now.
"Didn't want what?" Bryan asks in a snippy voice once he realizes that everyone (well, maybe not Kurt) knows what's going on and he doesn't. "Oh, is this something to do with me? Did you not want to tell me, Blaine? Did you think I wouldn't understand about you being gay, or that--"
"Bryan," David snaps, squeezing his arm sharply before turning back to the boys. "We'll leave you to yourselves right now, okay? We are not doing this in public, Bryan," he hisses as he senses his husband trying to start something again. "But bring Kurt over when you're done here, okay? We just want to get to know him." Kurt looks a little panicked at that, but Blaine nods weakly.
"Will do," he mumbles, looking at the ground. David takes pity on him and drags Bryan away, pulling him toward the car, opening the door for him and making sure he gets in. He gets in the driver's seat, immediately turning his glare on his husband.
"Are you happy you humiliated our son, Bryan? In front of his boyfriend, who, I might add, seems like a sweet young gentleman? Who does not seem to be a drug dealer?" Bryan finally looks embarrassed himself, biting his lip, and David lets out a little sigh. "Did you learn a lesson?"
"I learned that our son is gay and was scared to tell us," Bryan immediately says, raising an eyebrow. "What do you think about that?"
David sighs, although that fact does trouble him slightly, but he pushes it aside. "Not what I was going for, Bry."
"I learned to not stalk our son anymore," Bryan says grudgingly, letting out a heavy sigh. David smiles, leaning over to kiss him, cupping his cheek gently.
"That's what I like to hear."
