Silence part 2
Part 2 =)
-oOo-
They go to the grocery store and Sam is feeling dizzy and weak and he just wants to go back to his brother and preferably sleep for a week. And that's not even all because his throat is hurting and dad wants him to pick up three gallons of milk that he hardly can carry.
So, in Sam's mind, life is kind of terrible right now. He even lets some tears escape when he's on a cereal mission from dad and an old lady comes up to him asking what's the matter. And of course he doesn't answer, even though he'd like to tell her that his brother almost died and now he's lost his hearing. The thing is, now he can't stop crying, even though he wants to, which is all very frustrating. And if that wasn't bad enough, a really tall guy who was putting stuff on the shelves comes to help and Sam starts crying even harder.
When Sam thinks it can't get any worse then this, breaking down in front of two complete strangers, dad suddenly comes. Now is the time to really stop with the sobbing, but it just won't happen.
Dad just thanks the old lady and the very tall putting-stuff-on-shelves-guy, takes Sam's hand in his and walks toward the exit.
Mission groceries failed, Sam thinks when they're in the car, Sam still sniffling a bit. Dad has made him sit shotgun and Sam can't decide if it's punishment or not. Either dad wants him to feel better or he just wants to keep an extra eye on him in case he does something stupid again.
When dad starts the car he has finally succeeded to calm down, just the occasional tear escaping.
He is just so exhausted and his little outburst didn't make that any better. The car is like his worst enemy in this case, because the familiar sounds and smells in the Impala always make him more sleepy when he's tired. Sam does his very best to keep his eyes open and thinks he is doing a very good job until he feels the car stop and his head shoots up from where it has fallen, noticing they're at the motel.
Dad still doesn't say anything and Sam follows him into their dark room where Dean is resting.
When Dean wakes up a little bit after they've arrived, Sam is half dozing in front of some kind of cartoon while dad's outside cleaning out the car.
Dean plunks down next to Sam, hair sticking out all directions and a pillow mark on his cheek, and yawns wildly, stretching out as much as he can considering Sam is taking up most of the couch. Sam shifts to give him some more room and Dean reaches forward to check Sam's forehead and at the same time mouthing sick?
He doesn't look very happy when he draws away, probably sensing some fever. Sam closes his eyes and can feel Dean rummaging around and then feels a blanket on top of him. He feels a tap on his shoulder and Sam groans when he sees that Dean wants him to read.
Where's dad?
Sam points to outside and Dean looks out of the window, probably seeing their father with the car.
He knows your sick?
Sam shakes his head, but stops quickly. Not a good idea. He lets his eyes close again.
He can hear Dean sigh and move away from the couch and then coming back, tapping his shoulder again, holding up a thermometer.
And it's not good news either because Dean looks a bit alarmed checking the numbers.
Right then dad comes in through the door,“Everything good, boys?”
Dean just holds the thermometer up and points at Sam.
Dad looks down, takes his jacket off, gives them a tired look and crouches next to them on the couch. Like Dean, he doesn't look very happy when he see's Sam's temperature.
After that there's some searching for old cold medicine that Sam has to take.
Later, Sam wakes up to cold hands touching him and he tries to get away.
“Easy, Sammy” he hears his father say. Oh yeah, he's sick.
Dad helps him sit up a bit and gives him a cup of water to sip on and he happily drinks it. Sam tries to get his mind to work a bit faster. Everything is a bit fuzzy, but he can tell it's much darker then when he went to sleep. He starts to look around for his brother, but dad beats him.
“ Dean's asleep, it's late.” His dad looks tired and his eyes are concerned. “Your fever's been quite high for a while, Sam. You know...made your brother pretty worried.” Dad looks down for a second, then gives him a small, reassuring smile. “Get some more rest and you'll feel better soon.”
Sam obeys.
-oOo-
They're up early the next morning and Sam is hardly awake when dad carries him to the car.
He wakes up again a few hours later and Dean is dozing next to him and dad explains that they're going to a hospital so they can check on Sam. They have to go to one far away because the closer one they use for Dean's check ups. And there's not enough insurance or something.
Sam thinks dad is overreacting, because Sam's had a normal cold before and there was no way dad would take him to the hospital for just that. On the other hand they thought Dean had a normal cold at first, too. Sam's head feels wobbly and hot, but his body is really cold. He looks out of the car to see a thin layer of snow on the ground. Normally he would be happy about that but now it just looks too cold to Sam so he decides to close his eyes again.
-oOo-
“I can assure you everything's fine, Mr Cole,” the old doctor says. She's got a whole collection of butterfly pins on her doctor's coat and some of them almost looks real.
“I understand you're worried, but in this case it's just a nasty cold. Which isn't very pleasant either, of course” she says and hands Sam a sticker with an elephant.
Sam holds the sticker tight while Dean helps him off the examination table and then they sit down in a couple of chairs while dad's talking to the doctor.
Sam rests his head on Dean's arm, watching his brother draw funny pictures in his notebook. Sam giggles when Dean draws a picture of dad as a ballerina and dad and the doctor gives him a surprised look. Other then that they look serious, and Sam guesses they're discussing Dean.
He doesn't want to hear about that so he won't even try to listen. Instead he continues to look at Dean's hand drawing Sam as an oven. Sam yawns and nods tiredly. That's exactly how he feels like.
-oOo-
The next two days are in a haze, his temperature going a bit up and down. The medicine the doctor prescribed is helping, but he still feels bad.
Dean is resting up good too, or at least he guesses that considering every time he opens his eyes he sees his brother somewhere close by either sleeping or watching TV.
When he finally wakes up for real, they're still in the same motel room.
Sam's fever must be down, because he's feeling much better. The room isn't swaying anymore and he actually feels kind of rested. There's someone next to him and he rolls around to find Dean sitting on the bed with his faithful notebook and the other book. Dean looks at him, having felt Sam's movement. He smiles at Sam and starts writing something.
Finally! I thought you were gonna sleep all week.
Sam smiles and Dean checks his forehead, looks pleased. Sam yawns and rubs his eyes, not fully awake yet. His throat is still hurting, but not as bad as before.
They both stay like that for a while. Dean is drawing again and Sam is kind of half dozing, trying to wake up. Finally he can keep his eyes open at least and lays there looking at Dean who's grinning, he's probably drawing something inappropriate. Sam sure hopes dad won't look closely in that book.
Dean looks at him, sighs and scribbles something down.
Okay Sam. I think it's time we “talk” about something.
Sam gulps. He's been waiting for this. Dean hasn't said anything about Sam's behavior other than just being generally pissed about it when he's noticed.
Sam tries to look confused, but that won't fool his brother.
You know what I'm talking about. Tell me why.
Why does this have to be so hard? Sam thinks. He just wants them to leave him alone, it's not like they're going to understand anyway. He turns around, closes his eyes again. Dean hits him on the shoulder and makes him turn back.
Don't ignore me. This is serious.
Sam won't answer and Dean angrily starts a new page.
Do you think it's funny or something? Because it's not.
Great, now he's making Dean angry and Sam feels tears coming again. He's really been the biggest crybaby ever lately.
Dean's expression softens, and he writes something new.
C'mon dude. How can you be geek nr 1 in class if you don't speak?
Sam gives him a small smile.
And really, someone has to annoy dad in the car. You know, you're talking for two now.
He giggles, wipes his tears off and moves in a bit closer to his brother. This is his Dean, the one he has missed. Even if he can't hear Dean talking, he realizes it doesn't mean matter. Dean can still sound like Dean even without the voice.
The notebook is in front of Sam again and when he reads the small written text, like Dean is saying it quietly, he feels a pang in his chest.
I'm sorry I shut down
And that's what it's all about, isn't it. That was when Sam stopped talking. He remembers the feeling, how Dean would not respond to anything. Like he was dead. And that it scared him more than anything.
Sam stares into his brother's eyes. They're sad, and Sam thinks for a moment Dean might cry. He doesn't though.
Do you know why I started trying? Dean writes instead.
Sam shakes his head, he doesn't. One day Dean had just turned around in his hospital bed, looked straight at Sam and then started eating the whole tray of food that was in front of him.
It was you, Sammy, Dean continues, I couldn't let you down.
Sam looks at his brother who looks so much better and healthier, much more like Dean is supposed to look. Dean continues scribbling in his fast almost non-readable handwriting.
Please Sam, he writes. Will you do the same for me?
Even though Dean's not that pale anymore there's still worry and sadness hiding behind the smile, and Sam knows it's because if him. He looks at the book Dean has in his lap and scoots up from under his covers to lean against the headboard. Dean grins and opens the book in Sam's lap.
They've got stuff to learn.
end