Happy Holidays, dametokillfor!
Title: Being Human
Recipient: dametokillfor
Author: tellshannon815
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Damon/Alaric. Mentions of Bonnie, Matt, Elena, Stefan, Caroline, Tyler, Isobel, Jenna.
Word Count: 1658
Warnings: Spoilers up to 4x01 but AU from the end of S3.
Summary: When Damon asks Bonnie if there’s any way of bringing Alaric back from the dead, she succeeds but accidentally turns Damon human too. Alaric helps him deal with it. Now that the last reason he had for not pursuing Damon no longer applies, he must decide whether to go for it.
Author's Notes: Thanks to User J for the beta!
By rights, Damon probably ought to hate Alaric. He’d asked Bonnie if there was any way of saving him back when his vampire form had died, and Bonnie had said there was a way. Unfortunately, while Bonnie’s trip to the other side to try and get Alaric’s human soul back had worked, it also had an unforeseen side effect: Damon’s own human soul had come back across with them, and now he found himself human again.
Alaric had tried to tell Damon that he was still the same person. Back when Isobel had first showed up, he’d told him that he could still see the humanity in Damon somewhere, and even if Damon had tried to say that he’d turned it off, Alaric could tell that he hadn’t completely. And maybe now that Damon was human, maybe they had a better chance than they had before.
He’s making jokes about it, saying that he’s pissed off that he’s not going to be “the eternal stud” any more, but then he’d muttered something under his breath which Alaric hadn’t quite caught; he’d thought it was something about while Stefan got to keep his good looks, Damon was just going to get old and grey.
“You know what’s really crazy about this?” Damon asked. “Stefan would probably give his right arm to be me right now. If he had the chance to be human, to grow old with Elena, he’d take it. And now I’ve got what he wants, and I don’t even want it.”
You can grow old with me now, Damon, Alaric thought. Elena had told him about the argument she’d had with Caroline months ago when Caroline had pointed out that Elena was going to grow old while Stefan would remain biologically seventeen for ever, and he couldn’t help but think at the time that he and Damon would only be in that same position if Alaric ever did decide to take the plunge and make a go of it with Damon. It had been one of the factors (although there were, of course, others) that had made Alaric think it was a really bad idea to get involved.
Alaric tried not to take it personally that the thought didn’t seem to have occurred to Damon. The guy had enough to deal with at the moment.
“Don’t you remember what you told me once?” Alaric had tried to reason with him instead. “You hadn’t even wanted to complete the transition. Well, now you got what you wanted back then. You’re not a vampire any more.”
Damon glared at him. “But I don’t know how to be human any more. I don’t even remember how.”
“Then I’m gonna have to show you,” Alaric smiled, “see if I can remind you how it felt.”
“Never thought I’d actually see what the big deal was about,” Damon mused as he bit into a cheeseburger. He’d eaten human food since becoming a vampire, of course, in the early days when he was keeping it from the likes of the interfering Founders’ Council. And after a while, he’d even been able to keep it down without vomiting. But he wasn’t used to enjoying it.
“And you don’t miss blood at all?” Alaric asked.
Damon thought about it. The strange thing was, he really didn’t. Stefan had reluctantly admitted the night before that he envied Damon this, the lack of craving for blood, and Damon hadn’t even cared that for once he had something that Stefan wanted. Well, maybe a little.
“So those sorority girls over there,” Alaric gestured towards a group of three blondes who had just walked into The Grill. “You can look at them and not think, lunch?”
Damon turned around and glanced in the direction in which Alaric was pointing. “I look at them and I think that’s what Barbie would look like if she were human. I see a bunch of airheads, but I don’t see food. I’m not even tempted. Only thing that still tastes the same is this,” he said, gesturing towards their whisky. “Speaking of which, I’m gonna get us a refill.”
Alaric watched him as he went to the bar, waved distractedly at someone he recognised from Mystic Falls High. As he replied mechanically to his coworker’s questions about lesson plans, he vaguely recognised that Damon was taking a lot longer than he usually did. No matter how long the lines were at the bar, he could usually rely on Damon to get served quickly.
“What’s the matter?” he asked when Damon came back and slammed their drinks down in front of them without even looking at Alaric.
“Just tried to use compulsion on the jackass in front of me so he’d let me go ahead of him in the line,” Damon muttered reluctantly. “Forgot I couldn’t do it any more. The quarterback had to distract the guy before he kicked my ass. And he might even have managed it, since I wouldn’t have been able to throw him across the room so easily.”
“Damon Salvatore, not getting everything he wants all the time.” Alaric whistled. “Things really are changing.”
“And Donovan,” Damon continued, “he can’t stand me, and the feeling’s mutual, but he looked at me like he felt sorry for me back there. You’re joking about it, and that’s what I need.”
“Trust me, I’m coming up with plenty of lines, ready to hit you when you’re really down,” Alaric elbowed Damon in the ribs.
“Why are you doing this?” Damon asked. “Why are you trying to help me? How come you’re not loving every minute of this?”
“I’m not going to love something that’s making you unhappy, Damon,” Alaric replied, taking a swig from the bottle of whisky they were sharing.
“Even after Jenna, and after Isobel?” Damon asked.
“We already had this conversation, Damon, remember, when Tyler bit you? And I don’t think either of us is drunk enough for it now, just like we weren’t then.”
“And what about after you?” Damon asked. “It’s not every guy who’d try to help their killer.”
“That’s because it’s not every guy who gets the chance,” Alaric pointed out, and was pleased to see a faint smile flash across Damon’s face.
“Touché.” Damon laughed.
Alaric smiled. “We talked about that at the time as well. You said yourself that you meant it when you told me you were sorry, and I accepted it. Besides, I’m pretty sure you’re not gonna do it again now that the ring’s not gonna work if it’s you.”
Damon snorted. “Keep giving me those lame pep talks and you never know.”
Alaric laughed along with him.
“But seriously, why are you sticking around after what I did?” Damon asked. “I’ve killed you twice, and okay, once was when I didn’t really know you and you’d just found out about Isobel, but I seem to remember you were pretty pissed after the other time.”
“Did you really think I wouldn’t?” Alaric asked. “I still remember the other time I died, you know, when Esther killed me, and how you were the only one who stayed with me at the end. And you were the one who stuck with me when everyone else thought I was going crazy. You were there for me, so of course I’m gonna be there for you.”
When Alaric had first started to realise he had feelings for Damon, he’d made himself a list of all the reasons why he shouldn’t. The first, of course, had been Isobel. He’d spent the two years after Isobel’s death torturing himself about why she’d disappeared, and then once he’d found out that Damon had been the one to turn her, then of course he’d blamed him initially. But Alaric understood now that Isobel had wanted to be turned. If it hadn’t been Damon, then it would just as easily have been another vampire, maybe Katherine, maybe someone else entirely. And if anything, Damon had been the one who’d made him realise that he couldn’t keep living in the past forever, and that had been when Alaric had started to realise that there was more to him than just the dickhead who’d turned his wife, that Damon might actually be someone he’d want to spend time with.
Time, of course, had been the next reason, as he’d been aware of the fact that he would age normally while Damon remained what he jokingly referred to as “the eternal stud”. But that hadn’t stopped Elena being with Stefan, or Tyler with Caroline for those few weeks before Klaus turned him.
Jenna should have been the next reason, but Alaric had never blamed Damon for that. Klaus was the one who had actually turned her; Klaus was the one who had made Katherine lure her out. What purpose would blaming Damon achieve?
Alaric’s main reason for doubting that he should be with Damon had been, of course, that he was a vampire. It went against everything he’d ever believed in to date someone from the very species he’d been so determined to hunt down after Isobel; also, the whole issue of him being able to turn off his humanity had been an issue for Alaric. But none of that mattered any more. What mattered was how he and Damon felt about each other. And if anyone knew that life was too short and that they should just act on it, it was Alaric.
So he decided that he would let go of his doubts, once and for all. He’d go to Damon, tell him how he really felt. He realised that he was being an ass letting any of those reasons stop him in the first place. Because for all the reasons why he shouldn’t be with Damon, there was a very good one for which he should. He should be with Damon because he was in love with him, and that was the only reason that mattered.
Recipient: dametokillfor
Author: tellshannon815
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Damon/Alaric. Mentions of Bonnie, Matt, Elena, Stefan, Caroline, Tyler, Isobel, Jenna.
Word Count: 1658
Warnings: Spoilers up to 4x01 but AU from the end of S3.
Summary: When Damon asks Bonnie if there’s any way of bringing Alaric back from the dead, she succeeds but accidentally turns Damon human too. Alaric helps him deal with it. Now that the last reason he had for not pursuing Damon no longer applies, he must decide whether to go for it.
Author's Notes: Thanks to User J for the beta!
By rights, Damon probably ought to hate Alaric. He’d asked Bonnie if there was any way of saving him back when his vampire form had died, and Bonnie had said there was a way. Unfortunately, while Bonnie’s trip to the other side to try and get Alaric’s human soul back had worked, it also had an unforeseen side effect: Damon’s own human soul had come back across with them, and now he found himself human again.
Alaric had tried to tell Damon that he was still the same person. Back when Isobel had first showed up, he’d told him that he could still see the humanity in Damon somewhere, and even if Damon had tried to say that he’d turned it off, Alaric could tell that he hadn’t completely. And maybe now that Damon was human, maybe they had a better chance than they had before.
He’s making jokes about it, saying that he’s pissed off that he’s not going to be “the eternal stud” any more, but then he’d muttered something under his breath which Alaric hadn’t quite caught; he’d thought it was something about while Stefan got to keep his good looks, Damon was just going to get old and grey.
“You know what’s really crazy about this?” Damon asked. “Stefan would probably give his right arm to be me right now. If he had the chance to be human, to grow old with Elena, he’d take it. And now I’ve got what he wants, and I don’t even want it.”
You can grow old with me now, Damon, Alaric thought. Elena had told him about the argument she’d had with Caroline months ago when Caroline had pointed out that Elena was going to grow old while Stefan would remain biologically seventeen for ever, and he couldn’t help but think at the time that he and Damon would only be in that same position if Alaric ever did decide to take the plunge and make a go of it with Damon. It had been one of the factors (although there were, of course, others) that had made Alaric think it was a really bad idea to get involved.
Alaric tried not to take it personally that the thought didn’t seem to have occurred to Damon. The guy had enough to deal with at the moment.
“Don’t you remember what you told me once?” Alaric had tried to reason with him instead. “You hadn’t even wanted to complete the transition. Well, now you got what you wanted back then. You’re not a vampire any more.”
Damon glared at him. “But I don’t know how to be human any more. I don’t even remember how.”
“Then I’m gonna have to show you,” Alaric smiled, “see if I can remind you how it felt.”
“Never thought I’d actually see what the big deal was about,” Damon mused as he bit into a cheeseburger. He’d eaten human food since becoming a vampire, of course, in the early days when he was keeping it from the likes of the interfering Founders’ Council. And after a while, he’d even been able to keep it down without vomiting. But he wasn’t used to enjoying it.
“And you don’t miss blood at all?” Alaric asked.
Damon thought about it. The strange thing was, he really didn’t. Stefan had reluctantly admitted the night before that he envied Damon this, the lack of craving for blood, and Damon hadn’t even cared that for once he had something that Stefan wanted. Well, maybe a little.
“So those sorority girls over there,” Alaric gestured towards a group of three blondes who had just walked into The Grill. “You can look at them and not think, lunch?”
Damon turned around and glanced in the direction in which Alaric was pointing. “I look at them and I think that’s what Barbie would look like if she were human. I see a bunch of airheads, but I don’t see food. I’m not even tempted. Only thing that still tastes the same is this,” he said, gesturing towards their whisky. “Speaking of which, I’m gonna get us a refill.”
Alaric watched him as he went to the bar, waved distractedly at someone he recognised from Mystic Falls High. As he replied mechanically to his coworker’s questions about lesson plans, he vaguely recognised that Damon was taking a lot longer than he usually did. No matter how long the lines were at the bar, he could usually rely on Damon to get served quickly.
“What’s the matter?” he asked when Damon came back and slammed their drinks down in front of them without even looking at Alaric.
“Just tried to use compulsion on the jackass in front of me so he’d let me go ahead of him in the line,” Damon muttered reluctantly. “Forgot I couldn’t do it any more. The quarterback had to distract the guy before he kicked my ass. And he might even have managed it, since I wouldn’t have been able to throw him across the room so easily.”
“Damon Salvatore, not getting everything he wants all the time.” Alaric whistled. “Things really are changing.”
“And Donovan,” Damon continued, “he can’t stand me, and the feeling’s mutual, but he looked at me like he felt sorry for me back there. You’re joking about it, and that’s what I need.”
“Trust me, I’m coming up with plenty of lines, ready to hit you when you’re really down,” Alaric elbowed Damon in the ribs.
“Why are you doing this?” Damon asked. “Why are you trying to help me? How come you’re not loving every minute of this?”
“I’m not going to love something that’s making you unhappy, Damon,” Alaric replied, taking a swig from the bottle of whisky they were sharing.
“Even after Jenna, and after Isobel?” Damon asked.
“We already had this conversation, Damon, remember, when Tyler bit you? And I don’t think either of us is drunk enough for it now, just like we weren’t then.”
“And what about after you?” Damon asked. “It’s not every guy who’d try to help their killer.”
“That’s because it’s not every guy who gets the chance,” Alaric pointed out, and was pleased to see a faint smile flash across Damon’s face.
“Touché.” Damon laughed.
Alaric smiled. “We talked about that at the time as well. You said yourself that you meant it when you told me you were sorry, and I accepted it. Besides, I’m pretty sure you’re not gonna do it again now that the ring’s not gonna work if it’s you.”
Damon snorted. “Keep giving me those lame pep talks and you never know.”
Alaric laughed along with him.
“But seriously, why are you sticking around after what I did?” Damon asked. “I’ve killed you twice, and okay, once was when I didn’t really know you and you’d just found out about Isobel, but I seem to remember you were pretty pissed after the other time.”
“Did you really think I wouldn’t?” Alaric asked. “I still remember the other time I died, you know, when Esther killed me, and how you were the only one who stayed with me at the end. And you were the one who stuck with me when everyone else thought I was going crazy. You were there for me, so of course I’m gonna be there for you.”
When Alaric had first started to realise he had feelings for Damon, he’d made himself a list of all the reasons why he shouldn’t. The first, of course, had been Isobel. He’d spent the two years after Isobel’s death torturing himself about why she’d disappeared, and then once he’d found out that Damon had been the one to turn her, then of course he’d blamed him initially. But Alaric understood now that Isobel had wanted to be turned. If it hadn’t been Damon, then it would just as easily have been another vampire, maybe Katherine, maybe someone else entirely. And if anything, Damon had been the one who’d made him realise that he couldn’t keep living in the past forever, and that had been when Alaric had started to realise that there was more to him than just the dickhead who’d turned his wife, that Damon might actually be someone he’d want to spend time with.
Time, of course, had been the next reason, as he’d been aware of the fact that he would age normally while Damon remained what he jokingly referred to as “the eternal stud”. But that hadn’t stopped Elena being with Stefan, or Tyler with Caroline for those few weeks before Klaus turned him.
Jenna should have been the next reason, but Alaric had never blamed Damon for that. Klaus was the one who had actually turned her; Klaus was the one who had made Katherine lure her out. What purpose would blaming Damon achieve?
Alaric’s main reason for doubting that he should be with Damon had been, of course, that he was a vampire. It went against everything he’d ever believed in to date someone from the very species he’d been so determined to hunt down after Isobel; also, the whole issue of him being able to turn off his humanity had been an issue for Alaric. But none of that mattered any more. What mattered was how he and Damon felt about each other. And if anyone knew that life was too short and that they should just act on it, it was Alaric.
So he decided that he would let go of his doubts, once and for all. He’d go to Damon, tell him how he really felt. He realised that he was being an ass letting any of those reasons stop him in the first place. Because for all the reasons why he shouldn’t be with Damon, there was a very good one for which he should. He should be with Damon because he was in love with him, and that was the only reason that mattered.