DONZO!
I went to see The Holiday with Courtney and her dad last night. Even though I don’t particularly care for Cameron Diaz, I thought it was a great movie. I made me kinda sad. I’m sick of waiting for that one person to realize that this is it. I’m trying to move on but it’s hard when he keeps trying to stay in contact with me. He sends me sweet text-messages randomly when he clearly doesn’t want to be with me! It’s so hard to get over someone when they won’t let you! I honestly don’t think that anyone will come along until I get rid of this excess that keeps coming back into my life. He just breaks me down little by little until there is nothing left and I can’t take it anymore! I want this to be over for good. No friendship can last between us because we can’t seem to do that without hurting each other. I don’t know why this is so difficult. This has gone on long enough and I want it to stop. Maybe he doesn’t realize how he affects me, but he has definitely caused quite some damage in the past few years, and I’m sure I’ve hurt him too. This is it, there can be NO MORE!! I refuse to feed into this any longer! Its OVER and the second he contacts me I’m telling him. I can’t live my life like this anymore. It’s crazy that I got all of this from a movie. But HEY- whatever works to help me realize that I’m completely unhappy and my happiness is essential for me to improve my life when I start over in January. This year will be DIFFERENT! I mean it! No more shit!! It’s all gonna change! I’m saving my life! My livelihood and my sanity are at stake here! It’s DONZO BABY!!! Finally the end of an era! This era of bullshit is over FINALLY!!! The era of me begins tomorrow!!......................THANK GOD!!