Just when did all this start to happen?

[tuu]

Cold and rain,
the snow is melting fast, i'm driving
no more
no more being someone else

Which one of my lives am i living now?
There are so many, identities
truths
i know i'm somewhere inside this mess
it is my creation, so to say...........................

Just when did i start getting all twisted
is there a lifeline i can see, in the history that holds these identities in this body,
is there a moment when the first twist occurs?
Who said
c'mon baby let's do the twist
let's twist again
over and over and over
you look so good and you twist so fine
baby all the time.

all the time

people say it's like a line of silver binding together the thing that is me.
i seem to have created so many layers i'm lost now,
not knowing if there's anyone in there
or is it just void
That if i keep going inwards eventually i'll fall
and that will be the end of all identity, personality, self.
- i think it's normally called psychosis.

I'm more than ready to peel off these layers
even though i don't really believe there's anything inside,
i'm just tired of dragging this masquerade along,
these life histories that are all lies
all dirty
all disgusting
all sick
sick
sick
all lonely
all trembling
all bleeding
all bleeding hurting
all closed
shut down
dried
no more water
no more thirst
no more lust for life
for happiness for skin for juicy sweet things
for touch.
no more touch
no more tears no sweat no saliva
no more smiling hearing songs on street corners.
no more feelings.
no more.