back from spring break
I'm back.
Wow what a trip. I was so nervous about going. But I'm so glad I went. I missed him so much. I saw him in everything. Then when I saw him in the flesh, it was like all the pieces of me were put back together again, and for one whole week I had no stress, no pain, I wasn't depressed at all. And now its gone, again. Again I feel like a great piece of my heart has been taken away. There was a time when I didn't want that anymore. I was willing to give up the great love I had just to not feel the pain. I know now that I can't do that. I can't let other people's will drive my life. I won't let them keep me from something wonderful. God put him in my life on purpose, why am I trying to push him out? But I've created a situation. I know I want him, but what about the other man thats in my life? I tried to keep one out by starting something new with the other. Now I have to let one down. I know which, but how am I supposed to hurt him? I know I have to, but I wish I didn't. He's an amazing person, makes me laugh, takes care of me when I need it, comforts me when I'm sad. I don't want to lose his friendship. Thats what I'm afraid of. I need Jesus to help me. I need his spirit to help me with my life. I feel so lost without him. I need to be rejuvinated. I need a spiritual makeover, inside and out.
Wow what a trip. I was so nervous about going. But I'm so glad I went. I missed him so much. I saw him in everything. Then when I saw him in the flesh, it was like all the pieces of me were put back together again, and for one whole week I had no stress, no pain, I wasn't depressed at all. And now its gone, again. Again I feel like a great piece of my heart has been taken away. There was a time when I didn't want that anymore. I was willing to give up the great love I had just to not feel the pain. I know now that I can't do that. I can't let other people's will drive my life. I won't let them keep me from something wonderful. God put him in my life on purpose, why am I trying to push him out? But I've created a situation. I know I want him, but what about the other man thats in my life? I tried to keep one out by starting something new with the other. Now I have to let one down. I know which, but how am I supposed to hurt him? I know I have to, but I wish I didn't. He's an amazing person, makes me laugh, takes care of me when I need it, comforts me when I'm sad. I don't want to lose his friendship. Thats what I'm afraid of. I need Jesus to help me. I need his spirit to help me with my life. I feel so lost without him. I need to be rejuvinated. I need a spiritual makeover, inside and out.