Stamped; Heart Shards Theme
Name: Haley
Age: 19
Gender: Female
What do you like most about yourself? Hmm...I think my talents in writing. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm bragging (because I definitely don't think I'm the "best writer ever!" or anything), but people seem to really, genuinely like my characters and ideas when I write story, whether it's original or fanfiction. I love stories, so I'm glad I have a talent in it.
What do you like least about yourself? Oh, gosh...honestly, there's a lot of things. I tend to see a lot of flaws in myself, real or imagined. Probably the one that's been bothering me the most lately is my tendancy to run away. I'm not very good at coping when things get too sad or overwhelming...my reaction is almost aways to run and hide, either literally or emotionally.
How do you act in the company of other people? Online I'm crazy, geeky, random and (usually) energetic. I try to talk to people even if I don't feel like it, and I try to bring something new to the conversation--even if that means I bring something ODD to the conversation. ^^;; IRL, unless I'm with people I'm very close with (during which I tend to act like I do online) or feeling extremely comfortable for whatever reason, I tend to be quiet, although I try to be friendly. Lately I've found myself avoiding people more--it's not that I don't like people, but I hate feeling like I'm bothering people, and whether I really am or not I feel like joining in on a conversation really does make me a bother.
Put an X (or whatever symbol you'd like) on all the options that apply to you.
Example: [X] Happy
Which of these words appeal to you? (Explain in brief beside each of the options you chose, if you feel the need to expound.)
[ ] Contented
[X] Distressed - I don't know why I find this word amusing, but I do. Maybe it's the way it's written, or maybe it's because it reminds me of the mood icon for distressed on LJ. XD (With the little guy waving his hands in the air like 'HALP!') My favorite word for this sort of mood is 'flustered', however.
[X] Melancholy - There's something about this word that seems so pretty, even if the mood it means isn't very pleasant. It's a very 'blue' sounding word...and blue is my favorite color, so. I prefer 'melancholy' to saying I'm 'depressed' or 'gloomy'. There's something elegant about being 'melancholy'.
[ ] Moving
[ ] Frustrated (I HATE this word, I can't spell it well, and it makes me frustrated. XD;)
[X] Loving - This is appealing because of the meaning. Loving. It's like a big hug. (Emotional hemlich!)
[ ] Scared
[ ] Optimistic
[X] Kind - I'm not sure why I like this word, but I do. It's simple, to the point, but somehow seems packed with meaning.
[ ] Inquisitive - I prefer 'curious'. ...Easier to spell.
[ ] Self-important - What could be so important about the self?
[ ] Confident
[X] Loyal - I love this word. I love the meaning, I love the Ls on either side, I love the 'y' in the middle. I like Ls and Ys. Possibly because of my name.
Using the same list from above, which feelings do you experience the most? (Explain in brief if you want.)
[ ] Contented
[X] Distressed - I'm nervous and easilly stressed, and my habit of running away makes things pile up and makes me even more stressed. Even when I seem calm, there's panic brewing in the back of my mind.
[X] Melancholy - I'm not always melancholy, but I often am, sadly. I'd rather be happy.
[ ] Moving
[X] Frustrated - Again, because of my habit of running away, I get frustrated with myself. I tend to be sort of controlling, too, so I get frustrated with people when they don't act the way I expect or want them to.
[X] Loving - I've been told I am? I hope I am? I do really care about people. I know I'm selfish sometimes, but I don't want to be. I want to be helpful and useful and needed to people. ...Is that loving or just selfish?
[X] Scared - I take after my (nervous and overprotective) mother. WORST CASE SCENARIO. I swear I see them everywhere. But what IF...?!
[ ] Optimistic
[X] Kind - Again, I've been told I am. I'd like to think I am, I really want to make a difference to people.
[X] Inquisitive - I think I am. Sometimes I'm lazy about finding the answer, but I always wonder none-the-less. I particularly like to know the whys behind art and stories. Particularly stories. Yes, Autor is obsessive about Drosselmeyer, but why? That's what I like to know--and what I like to write in my stories. Those sorts of questions.
[ ] Self-important
[ ] Confident
[ ] Loyal
In general, are you more...
Introverted/extroverted? A sort of a mix. When I'm happy and confident, I'm rather loud and force myself into social contacts whether i fit in or not. I like being part of a group. But often, particularly lately, I've found myself withdrawing because I don't want to bother people.
Bold/timid? Timid. I'm like a small, skittish animal.
Warm/detached? I can be warm when I'm in a good mood. I try to be warm. But often I come across as cold and detached. I'm stubborn, and if I decide I'm in a 'mood' I'll stay in that mood and push people away if I have to to stay in that mood. It's silly and petty.
Optimistic/pessimistic? My brother once said I'm optimistic for everyone concerning myself. That's probably pretty accurate--I never think people's lives are that bad, there's always some sort of silver lining and hope that they can find and reach if they look for it. But with myself, I'm the opposite--"Nothing will ever change. I'm 'damaged'. I'm a failure. And I can't do anything to fix that anymore, either because I don't want to or I don't have the ability." I don't know if that's really true--it probably isn't--but I feel that way often.
Emotionally strong/weak? Weak, very. I'm oversensitive, was teased for being a crybaby as a child, take things personally...yeah, I'm not emotionally strong at all.
Skeptical/trusting? I swing from one extreme to the other. Either I'm incredibly gullible--perhaps because I WANT to believe?--or I think everything/everyone is out to get me.
Ambitious/idle (or perhaps already content)? Idle. It's not that I don't have big dreams, I just think they're impossible, and I'm too lazy and too scared of disappointing myself and failing. I'm a perfectionist, a procrastinator, and a pessimist. Deadly combination.
Explain your answers as much as you can.
Do you consider yourself moody? Why or why not? Yes, very. My mood swings often and wildly. I can be incredibly happy and content one moment, only to have one tiny, single, insignificant thing send that tumbling down like a house of cards. And then, suddenly, after hours of ranting and throwing tantrums, I'll suddenly be okay again. It's odd.
What mood do you usually find yourself in? Either blissful ignorance or moody disappointment, normally.
Which feeling have you least experienced (or don't want to experience)? Hm...contentment. Being truly okay and content isn't something i feel that often. ...Unless you mean out of the heartshards. That would probably be...hm...hope, I suppose, although like i said I feel that for others, just...not myself.
When someone wakes you up early in the morning, how do you usually react? "UGH! What're you doing?!?! I DON'T HAVE TO BE UP YET! Go away! Go away! Wake me up later!" Partially because I tend to stay up really, really late. XDDD I'm not really a morning person. I prefer the night.
What do you think of what's happened in your life so far? I've had a lot of very, very wonderful and unique oppertunities and experiences and a lot of things that feel overwhelmingly bad to me. (Even though I haven't experience true horror for most of my life--I've never been through a war, or a death of someone truly close to me, or suffered from horrible illness. Yet, still, some memories overwhelm me and affect me even ten years later...) I suppose overall it averages out to a happy medium, but the experiences individually often seem to be REALLY good or REALLY bad in my mind. Although that's not always the case...perhaps I just like to exaggerate.
What do you imagine your future to be like? I see two different ones: One where I break through my flaws and become a skilled, talented writer with a devoted following (although perhaps not a large one). I'm happy and content and unique and myself, and I've fulfilled what I was supposed to do. And the other one I see is a purposeless drifter that's too unmotivated to ever get anything right or make much of an impact. I prefer the first, but the later is frighteninly close in my mind currently.
Can you tell us something (anything! Can be a song, an object, fanart, anime, food, etc.) that touched you very deeply? I don't normally cry when I watch movies, but one movie that ALWAYS makes me cry is A Little Princess. The remake of the Shirley Temple movie that came out in the 90's. In the end when there's the huge rainstorm and Sara sees her father again after thinking he was dead, but he can't remember her, and she's screaming at him "Papa, don't you remember me? The doll and the ramayana and mother and the locket?! Why can't you remember me?!" and she starts to be dragged away and accused of being insane, and then at the last moment something connects in her father's mind and he remembers and runs after her calling her name. I don't know WHY that one makes me cry when countless others don't, but I bawl like a baby every time I watch that scene.
If you were Mytho and had a choice not to get one (and only one) of your heart shards back, which one would it be and why? Hm...fear. I could get so much more done if I didn't feel afraid. That or sadness, that emotion holds me back, too.
Votes: [1], [2], [3]