FIC: Then and Now - PG
Then and Now
By: Innusiq
Rating: PG
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Word Count: 3847
Warning: None
Summary: Takashi comes to some realizations backstage of Dream Live 7 between noon and afternoon shows.
Author's Notes: All I wanted to do was write something regarding Tuti and his Oishi fangs and this is what happened. Inspired by this post by Nagayan.
It all seems bit surreal right now, being backstage stage and looking the part of his long ago Golden Pair stage character, familiar songs once again etched into his memory bank even though they never really were all that far from recall. It's strange how comfortable it feels being back in the uniform, complete with Kikumaru wig and bandage, like coming home to an old friend he hasn't seen or spoken to in ages yet who has never really been all that far from his thoughts. Takashi can honestly say he never expected to be here, back at what could be considered square one of his serious career, or at least what caused his career to skyrocket to where he is today, all of them really, but this isn't so much square one as it is more a reminder of where he was before, and how far he has come. Being part of this show is his thank you to a set of directors and producers who gave him a chance so many years ago, co-stars that in the end became some of his closest friends, and the fans whom without them he wouldn't even be here getting all melancholy and choked up.
Looking around the dressing room, everyone seems to be going through their own version of between show preparations. There are some gabbing a few minutes of a nap, careful to sleep in just a way that won't have the hair and make-up staff breathing down their necks. A few others are grabbing a bite to eat and drink to stave off any lingering hunger until after the evening's performance at which time much eating and drinking will commence at whatever establishment has been reserved for their group to celebrate and most likely (if last night was any indication) get a little crazy. Others are singing through lines they already know in an effort ensure no slip ups occur on stage, because even though they've been here and done that, and can afford a few missed steps and forgotten lyrics and notes, they all know the fans deserve better. They all know their fifth generation predecessors deserve the best from them, which is the driving force that has them all striving for perfection. Whether it is met or not, at least they'll know in the end that they did their best.
Despite having three shows under his belt, there is still a mixture of nervous-excitement tumbling around his stomach. It's hard to explain or even understand himself really. It has nothing to do with performing on stage in front of an arena filled with thousands of crazed fans. It has nothing to do with the whole senpai-kohai connection between his Kikumaru and the evolved Kikumaru that is Shouta-kun's alone. It would be a complete and utter lie if he said he didn't know what was causing the summersaults in his stomach, because one look two stations over from his own, seeing Tuti who's head is slumped over in sleep, Oishi fangs perfectly curled over a wide forehead, he knows exactly what he is thinking and truly feeling.
This is an end. Sure he's been in dozens upon dozens of plays and musicals since his career began, and each and every one had a beginning and eventually an end. Granted, this musical for him, his Kikumaru, ended over five years ago, but because his character lived on in another actor, and another, and so on, it never really did feel like it had ended. There were always performances to attend to regale in the past, and new ventures of his own with Tuti by his side that felt familiar but never really one hundred percent the same. Now though… with reprising a role that changed not only his career but his life in general, it feels like a goodbye this time around, and maybe this is exactly how it is supposed to be. He can't hold onto the past forever, and no one really does or should expect him to, but he hadn't really been ready to let go of Kikumaru, until now.
Takashi pulls out his phone, slipping over onto Kime's chair, aiming his cell phone just so to capture another perfect shot of pictures that have increasingly become his favorite to take of Tuti, and smiles at the results and the memories flooding back which in that moment don't seem all that long ago...
Opening night is looming around the corner of the following day, and there is no denying the butterflies collecting in his stomach. This isn't his first stage performance, so he knows it's not so much stage fright causing this unease but more fulfilling the expectations of his director, fellow cast mates and ultimately the fans who have already witnessed and accepted one version of Kikumaru. It's the fear of not being accepted as part of something he is surprised to find he not only wants but needs to be part of. It's strange really, seeing as he hasn't had the time to truly get to know the other members of the cast, aside from Tuti, and of course he knows Kime, but even then, it's not like he isn't part of the group. The others, they seem to understand his not so intentional distance, knowing he needs this time to concentrate on his character's relationship with his partner rather than his own personal relationships with them. It is his success in seamlessly blending with an already formed group that will ensure his and their continued success, and beyond this show, if he can succeed in presenting an acceptable Kikumaru, he can then relax and get to know everyone else.
A loud bark of laughter catches his attention (and everyone else's in the room) as Tuti cracks at his own joke, and others around the man join in with knee slaps and return jabs that land Sota curled on the floor, stomach clutched in uncontrollable laughter. Takashi can't help grinning and chuckling at what he hasn't even a clue they are joking about, but knowing or not knowing doesn't really matter. He likes hearing Tuti laugh. He likes watching Tuti dance too, among other things, like when the man is concentrating over a script and the entire room seems to disappear and it's just Tuti and the words his fingers trace across. He like's Tuti's fingers too…
"Seriously Takashi," Kime says, interrupting his thoughts and taking a seat right in front of him on the floor, blocking his view of Tuti. "If you don't start dropping hints, and I mean Mt. Fuji-sized-can't-miss-without-stubbing-a-toe hints, nothing is ever going to come of this little crush you have."
Takashi straightens, slightly annoyed, and hisses. "It's not a little crush."
Kime waves his words away. "Fine, whatever, big crush…"
"It's not a crush," Takashi insists again and regrets his words as soon as the smirk begins to lighten upon Kime's face.
"All the more reason for you to say something. If you wait for him to make a move," Kime begins, looking over his shoulder at Tuti a moment before turning back to Takashi. "Let's just say it's never going to happen, and not for lack of interest."
"Tuti's not interested in me."
Kime looks at him with the I know you're smarter than that so stop acting stupid or I will kick your ass look.
"He doesn't!"
"Takashi…" Kime begins but stops himself. "Listen, I know you may not be ready for… some things, that maybe the timing isn't all that right, what with the show and all, but… there is always going to be another show, and if you wait for the right moment, you just might find that you've waited too long. Don't wait too long."
Kime doesn't give him a chance to respond, having heard Abe call out to Kime, his friend stands and immediately takes his leave, leaving Takashi with nothing but that final thought.
Don't wait too long.
Damn, Kime and his nosey ass. Damn Kime and the ideas his meddling cause, because before, before Takashi hadn't even considered liking Tuit in that way. If anything he just saw Tuti as a really good mentor and possible great friend. A person, who like Kime, seemed to get him with little or no effort. A person that Takashi himself didn't have to worry about being anything but himself around, and what a relief that was, especially with the pressure of the show on his shoulders. Tuti was just… well… Tuti, until Kime had to stick his nose where it didn't need to be. Kime knowing Takashi far too well for his own good.
Damn, Kime.
Takashi's looks back across the room and sees Tuti, Oishi fangs hanging perfectly over his forehead (something else Takashi is realizing more and more that he likes) making his way across the room towards him. Takashi sits up a little straighter, willing his conversation with Kime to the back of his thoughts and praying he doen't make a fool of himself and end up screwing up everything good about him and Tuti before it even gets started, what ever there was to be started.
"Hey," Tuti says, squatting down in front of him, wide open grin from before switching to more concern than necessary. "You okay?"
Takashi shakes himself, shoulders first then head, and offers Tuti what he hopes is a believable grin. "Yeah, well Kime is just being more annoying than usual, that's all."
Tuti laughs, knowing Kime fairly well himself. "Tell me about it."
Takashi worries a moment at the look Tuti throws the man in questions across the room. Kime wouldn't… would he… but whatever look or thoughts previously in Tuti's head seem to disappear as quickly as they came.
"Come on," Tuti says, standing and offering Takashi a hand. "Let's go over that one set of moves you are still having trouble with before the next run through."
Takashi doesn't need to be asked twice, because although he does have confidence in his ability, one can never have too much practice, and with Tuti as his teacher of sorts, there is no doubt he will nail this sequence of movements. He reaches up and takes Tuti's hand, receiving help he really doesn't need, and smiles. They fall into step together, Takashi following behind, as they seek out whatever free space is available for the next half hour before final run through is called.
"Hey," Takashi calls out, not really know what he wants to say, or what he plans on doing, but knowing, as Kime said, he needs to do something.
Tuti stops in their quest and turns to regard him curiously, one eyebrow raised and the corner of his mouth quirking up. They stand like that, Takashi looking up and Tuti looking down, not saying anything, for a few seconds, maybe even a full minute before Takashi finally makes his move.
"Thanks," Takashi says, reaching up and tugging on one of Tuti's Oishi fangs. "For everything."
Takashi looks down at the picture of Tuti on his cell phone screen and smiles to himself, thinking back and remembering again, like it was yesterday, how this all began, how seemingly easy that first step was even though he hadn't a clue what he was doing or what exactly he really wanted from Tuti. It's hard to believe that was seven years ago, and how much has changed in the time he first join the musical's cast and now, reprising the role of a cherished character not only in the fan's hearts but his own heart as well because he knows, he knows as well as he knows how to breathe, that without Kikumaru he probably wouldn't be where he is today. He would probably be just one of the thousand or so other forgettable working actors in Japan, making a living but just barely. He also knows without Kikumaru, he wouldn't have found his own personal Oishi in Tuti, and that is something to this day and forever he will always be eternally grateful.
They run through the street dodging a hundred other pedestrians who actually paid attention to the weather forecast that morning, wise enough to bring along umbrellas in preparation for when mother nature decided to dump a mother-load of water on Tokyo. Takashi is soaked through, and looking ahead at Tuti's equally drenched backside, finds his friend isn't any dryer as Tuti's hair that usually sticks out at varying angles is now plastered to Tuti's head. It's by sheer miracle neither poke and eye out as they make their way through the umbrella wielding crowd to Tuti's apartment. Their breathing is labored through gasps of laughter, neither truly unnerved by the turn of events for the night, and Takashi, well, rain is par for the course for Takashi's plans, so why would today be any different. Tuti's apartment complex coming into view through the torrential downpour is a sight for sore eyes, and their steps pick up seeing salvation in sight.
They are still laughing as they stumble through the door into Tuti's genkan. Tuti quickly toes off his drenched gym shoes and motions for Takashi to stay.
"I'll get some towels," Tuti says, jogging to the bathroom and quickly returning, offering Takashi one of the two yellow terrycloth towels. "Here you go."
"Thanks," Takashi says, taking the offered towel after removing his shoes and socks, wriggling his toes that are equally wet, and begins toweling off his hair and face.
When he's done, Takashi looks up at Tuti and his breath hitches, eyes widen in surprised shock that he knows he's not quick enough to cover by the concern staring back at him. He swallows past the lump in his throat, praying for words to come when he knows Tuti is going to ask what's wrong.
"Takashi?"
Takashi smiles and shakes his head, trying to dismiss the moment as nothing, but with every look back at Tuti he's reminded again and again of a time when they were basically inseparable (on stage and off) and how much he misses that time, of being on stage with Tuti, not in just any stage production but as his stage partner, as Tuti's Kikumaru, and then the memories begin flashing back, long forgotten memories of the two of them huddling in a corner of the rehearsal hall going over lines and talking out actions. He's reminded of constantly pulling on and playing with those damn Oishi bangs that weren't all that flattering, but he couldn't not play with them either. He remembers a time when they actually did have time to spend together outside of work, seeing plays and hanging out doing nothing more than watching movies they've seen a million times over and enjoying each other's company.
Takashi reaches up and pulls on a few strands of hair that hang over Tuti's forehead, just like Oishi's, and smiles up at his friend shyly, remembering that no matter how much he tries to forget his feelings for Tuti, or how much a part of Takashi life the man before him is, he will never be able to forget, nor does he ever really want to.
Tuti doesn't respond right away, looking Takashi over, and Takashi knows his friend is processing whatever body language he is offering. They've known each other for three years now, and under normal circumstances, should have gone their separate ways after their graduation from the Prince of Tennis musical, but for some reason they keep coming back to each other, on stage and off, whether it's destiny or just sheer coincidence, Takashi isn't sure, but he is definitely not complaining if it means keeping Tuti in his life.
"Huh?" Tuti says, which is accompanied by a stunned, almost enlightening look about Tuti's eyes, as if the man has come to a realization after many years oblivious living, and then Tuti offers a small, shy smile of his own. "Huh."
"Huh, what?" Takashi inquires, beginning to feel a bit nervous standing here almost trapped in Tuti's genkan.
Tuti's mouth opens once, before snapping shut and opens again. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"
"Say anything about what?" Takashi asks, avoiding wherever Tuti was going.
"All this time?"
"All this time, what?" Takashi begins, scrunching up his face in confusion as he attempts to move by Tuti and gain some distance between them. "I don't know what…"
Tuti grabs his wrist and turns to face him. "You were flirting with me!"
"What?" Takashi questions back, laughing, but it's not at the absurdity of the accusation, but more the insanity in knowing Tuti has figured him out.
"Back when… right in front… You…" Tuti lets go of Takashi's wrist and just stares at Takashi in wonder. "And just now?"
Takashi blushes at being found out, at being called on like he was in the first grade pulling on the pig-tales of the girl in the seat next to him. After the first initial tug, Tuti didn't seem to think anything of it, and each subsequent tug or flick or touch received no more attention than if Takashi had punch his friend playfully on the arm with a congratulatory "Well done." And once he started, he couldn't stop, thinking maybe this would be the day Tuti would get it, maybe this time Tuti would look at him and really see what he was doing, what was going on between them, but it never happened, and then the their musical run ended… and now here they were, three years later and finally, finally Tuti gets it, finally Tuti understands, and Takashi is scared to death it could possibly be too late.
"Tuti, I can explain…" but he can't, not really, not in a way that will make everything right between them, because if Tuti had been interested in him, like Kime said back then, Tuti would have picked up on the hints long ago, right? Tuti would have seen what was waiting right there in front of him, waiting for him to reach out and…
"Takashi?
"Yes, okay!" Takashi shouts, knowing there is no reason for him to continue lying and denying what is obvious to both of them now. "Yes, I was flirting with you, okay? Yes."
Takashi turns away and the chill in the apartment, combined with his damp clothing makes him shiver, and all he wants is to be back in his own apartment, alone, and in dry clothes. All he wants is to pretend this isn't happening, that when he wakes up in the morning, Tuti will still call him to see if he can swing a lunch meeting, or a break for coffee, in between rehearsals and the million other obligations that pull them in opposite directions of each other now. All he wants is to keep Tuti in his life, no matter what.
"Hey," Tuti says gently, taking hold of Takashi's arm. "Come on, we both need to get into some dry clothes."
Tuti steers him in the direction of the bathroom and sits him on the edge of the tub. Takashi numbly waits for Tuti to return, staring at his clasped hands and unable to think clearly. If only it hadn't rained. If only he hadn't remembered…
"Here," Tuti's voice startles him, but he calms at the warm smile Tuti offers as he places the track pants and T-shirt on the small bathroom counter before turning and closing the door behind him, leaving Takashi alone to change.
It takes Takashi five minutes to even think of removing his clothes, but once he starts moving, the motions are completed out of habit of dressing and undressing daily. He uses the towel to further dry himself off before pulling on the track pants and T-shirt, and it's not until he's looking in the mirror that he realizes what shirt Tuti gave him. Blossam&Decossam is written across his chest and the sight makes him close his eyes and groan, remembering the text Kime sent him last week, after the shirts went on sale, that read, Why didn't I get invited to the wedding? Takashi realizes that this just isn't his day.
The knock on the door makes him jump.
"You okay?"
Takashi takes a deep breath before turning to open the door.
"I'm fine," he replies, not believing the words himself.
"Takash…"
"Tuti, you don't have to say anything," Takashi interrupts, not wanting or even ready to hear the blow of rejection.
Takashi makes his way past Tuti and back into the living room. He really should just pack up his things and leave, but hearing a rumble of thunder reminds him of their sprint from the train station and he quickly realizes leaving is not an option at this point if he wants to stave off catching pneumonia, wouldn't Tamaoki-san like that one?
"Takashi," Tuti tries again.
"Tuti, really, I'd rather not talk about this," Takashi says again, stopping whatever Tuti was about to say. "It's embarrassing and…"
"Takashi!"
Takashi snaps his mouth shut and turns back to Tuti.
"You really need to shut up," Tuti says, but the words aren't spoken in anger, Tuti offering a subdue smile as he closes the distance between them. "And you really need to listen."
When Takashi meets Tuti's eyes, the look he receives keeps him frozen in his spot, watching as Tuti reaches out a hand tentatively, but with confidence tugs on a lock of Takashi's bangs. Takashi's breath catches again before warmth spreads through his chest and relief floods his limbs. The blush that colors Tuti's cheeks in turn is a pleasant surprise, and the moment is only made that much more real by the words Tuti finally speaks.
"I like Takashi, too."
Takashi's smile widens at that memory as he saves the picture of a sleeping Tuti and begins composing a post to his blog. Tuti in recent days has begun to regret his blanket permission, allowing Takashi to post any picture he chooses without further approval, but truthfully, Tuti knows Takashi well enough to know Takashi understands what is appropriate and what is not. He adds a couple other photos at the beginning of the post, one of Moriyama and Noaya talking shop, another showing off Moriyama's Momoshiro hair, and lastly includes the one of sleeping Tuti with his Oishi fangs. He adds a quick message of explanation and sends the post to his blog. When he looks back up at Tuti, he can't help snapping a few more pictures for his own personal collection.
Yes, he is definitely ready to let Kikumaru go. It's not that Kikumaru won't still be a part of him, but Takashi finally realizes he no longer needs to hold onto Kikumaru in order to hold onto Tuti, he hasn't needed to for a couple years now, but it has taken him until this moment to realize that fact. They never needed specific characters, or plays, or various television and movie productions to keep them together. All they ever really needed was each other, and a few hints along the way.
By: Innusiq
Rating: PG
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Word Count: 3847
Warning: None
Summary: Takashi comes to some realizations backstage of Dream Live 7 between noon and afternoon shows.
Author's Notes: All I wanted to do was write something regarding Tuti and his Oishi fangs and this is what happened. Inspired by this post by Nagayan.
It all seems bit surreal right now, being backstage stage and looking the part of his long ago Golden Pair stage character, familiar songs once again etched into his memory bank even though they never really were all that far from recall. It's strange how comfortable it feels being back in the uniform, complete with Kikumaru wig and bandage, like coming home to an old friend he hasn't seen or spoken to in ages yet who has never really been all that far from his thoughts. Takashi can honestly say he never expected to be here, back at what could be considered square one of his serious career, or at least what caused his career to skyrocket to where he is today, all of them really, but this isn't so much square one as it is more a reminder of where he was before, and how far he has come. Being part of this show is his thank you to a set of directors and producers who gave him a chance so many years ago, co-stars that in the end became some of his closest friends, and the fans whom without them he wouldn't even be here getting all melancholy and choked up.
Looking around the dressing room, everyone seems to be going through their own version of between show preparations. There are some gabbing a few minutes of a nap, careful to sleep in just a way that won't have the hair and make-up staff breathing down their necks. A few others are grabbing a bite to eat and drink to stave off any lingering hunger until after the evening's performance at which time much eating and drinking will commence at whatever establishment has been reserved for their group to celebrate and most likely (if last night was any indication) get a little crazy. Others are singing through lines they already know in an effort ensure no slip ups occur on stage, because even though they've been here and done that, and can afford a few missed steps and forgotten lyrics and notes, they all know the fans deserve better. They all know their fifth generation predecessors deserve the best from them, which is the driving force that has them all striving for perfection. Whether it is met or not, at least they'll know in the end that they did their best.
Despite having three shows under his belt, there is still a mixture of nervous-excitement tumbling around his stomach. It's hard to explain or even understand himself really. It has nothing to do with performing on stage in front of an arena filled with thousands of crazed fans. It has nothing to do with the whole senpai-kohai connection between his Kikumaru and the evolved Kikumaru that is Shouta-kun's alone. It would be a complete and utter lie if he said he didn't know what was causing the summersaults in his stomach, because one look two stations over from his own, seeing Tuti who's head is slumped over in sleep, Oishi fangs perfectly curled over a wide forehead, he knows exactly what he is thinking and truly feeling.
This is an end. Sure he's been in dozens upon dozens of plays and musicals since his career began, and each and every one had a beginning and eventually an end. Granted, this musical for him, his Kikumaru, ended over five years ago, but because his character lived on in another actor, and another, and so on, it never really did feel like it had ended. There were always performances to attend to regale in the past, and new ventures of his own with Tuti by his side that felt familiar but never really one hundred percent the same. Now though… with reprising a role that changed not only his career but his life in general, it feels like a goodbye this time around, and maybe this is exactly how it is supposed to be. He can't hold onto the past forever, and no one really does or should expect him to, but he hadn't really been ready to let go of Kikumaru, until now.
Takashi pulls out his phone, slipping over onto Kime's chair, aiming his cell phone just so to capture another perfect shot of pictures that have increasingly become his favorite to take of Tuti, and smiles at the results and the memories flooding back which in that moment don't seem all that long ago...
Opening night is looming around the corner of the following day, and there is no denying the butterflies collecting in his stomach. This isn't his first stage performance, so he knows it's not so much stage fright causing this unease but more fulfilling the expectations of his director, fellow cast mates and ultimately the fans who have already witnessed and accepted one version of Kikumaru. It's the fear of not being accepted as part of something he is surprised to find he not only wants but needs to be part of. It's strange really, seeing as he hasn't had the time to truly get to know the other members of the cast, aside from Tuti, and of course he knows Kime, but even then, it's not like he isn't part of the group. The others, they seem to understand his not so intentional distance, knowing he needs this time to concentrate on his character's relationship with his partner rather than his own personal relationships with them. It is his success in seamlessly blending with an already formed group that will ensure his and their continued success, and beyond this show, if he can succeed in presenting an acceptable Kikumaru, he can then relax and get to know everyone else.
A loud bark of laughter catches his attention (and everyone else's in the room) as Tuti cracks at his own joke, and others around the man join in with knee slaps and return jabs that land Sota curled on the floor, stomach clutched in uncontrollable laughter. Takashi can't help grinning and chuckling at what he hasn't even a clue they are joking about, but knowing or not knowing doesn't really matter. He likes hearing Tuti laugh. He likes watching Tuti dance too, among other things, like when the man is concentrating over a script and the entire room seems to disappear and it's just Tuti and the words his fingers trace across. He like's Tuti's fingers too…
"Seriously Takashi," Kime says, interrupting his thoughts and taking a seat right in front of him on the floor, blocking his view of Tuti. "If you don't start dropping hints, and I mean Mt. Fuji-sized-can't-miss-without-stubbing-a-toe hints, nothing is ever going to come of this little crush you have."
Takashi straightens, slightly annoyed, and hisses. "It's not a little crush."
Kime waves his words away. "Fine, whatever, big crush…"
"It's not a crush," Takashi insists again and regrets his words as soon as the smirk begins to lighten upon Kime's face.
"All the more reason for you to say something. If you wait for him to make a move," Kime begins, looking over his shoulder at Tuti a moment before turning back to Takashi. "Let's just say it's never going to happen, and not for lack of interest."
"Tuti's not interested in me."
Kime looks at him with the I know you're smarter than that so stop acting stupid or I will kick your ass look.
"He doesn't!"
"Takashi…" Kime begins but stops himself. "Listen, I know you may not be ready for… some things, that maybe the timing isn't all that right, what with the show and all, but… there is always going to be another show, and if you wait for the right moment, you just might find that you've waited too long. Don't wait too long."
Kime doesn't give him a chance to respond, having heard Abe call out to Kime, his friend stands and immediately takes his leave, leaving Takashi with nothing but that final thought.
Don't wait too long.
Damn, Kime and his nosey ass. Damn Kime and the ideas his meddling cause, because before, before Takashi hadn't even considered liking Tuit in that way. If anything he just saw Tuti as a really good mentor and possible great friend. A person, who like Kime, seemed to get him with little or no effort. A person that Takashi himself didn't have to worry about being anything but himself around, and what a relief that was, especially with the pressure of the show on his shoulders. Tuti was just… well… Tuti, until Kime had to stick his nose where it didn't need to be. Kime knowing Takashi far too well for his own good.
Damn, Kime.
Takashi's looks back across the room and sees Tuti, Oishi fangs hanging perfectly over his forehead (something else Takashi is realizing more and more that he likes) making his way across the room towards him. Takashi sits up a little straighter, willing his conversation with Kime to the back of his thoughts and praying he doen't make a fool of himself and end up screwing up everything good about him and Tuti before it even gets started, what ever there was to be started.
"Hey," Tuti says, squatting down in front of him, wide open grin from before switching to more concern than necessary. "You okay?"
Takashi shakes himself, shoulders first then head, and offers Tuti what he hopes is a believable grin. "Yeah, well Kime is just being more annoying than usual, that's all."
Tuti laughs, knowing Kime fairly well himself. "Tell me about it."
Takashi worries a moment at the look Tuti throws the man in questions across the room. Kime wouldn't… would he… but whatever look or thoughts previously in Tuti's head seem to disappear as quickly as they came.
"Come on," Tuti says, standing and offering Takashi a hand. "Let's go over that one set of moves you are still having trouble with before the next run through."
Takashi doesn't need to be asked twice, because although he does have confidence in his ability, one can never have too much practice, and with Tuti as his teacher of sorts, there is no doubt he will nail this sequence of movements. He reaches up and takes Tuti's hand, receiving help he really doesn't need, and smiles. They fall into step together, Takashi following behind, as they seek out whatever free space is available for the next half hour before final run through is called.
"Hey," Takashi calls out, not really know what he wants to say, or what he plans on doing, but knowing, as Kime said, he needs to do something.
Tuti stops in their quest and turns to regard him curiously, one eyebrow raised and the corner of his mouth quirking up. They stand like that, Takashi looking up and Tuti looking down, not saying anything, for a few seconds, maybe even a full minute before Takashi finally makes his move.
"Thanks," Takashi says, reaching up and tugging on one of Tuti's Oishi fangs. "For everything."
Takashi looks down at the picture of Tuti on his cell phone screen and smiles to himself, thinking back and remembering again, like it was yesterday, how this all began, how seemingly easy that first step was even though he hadn't a clue what he was doing or what exactly he really wanted from Tuti. It's hard to believe that was seven years ago, and how much has changed in the time he first join the musical's cast and now, reprising the role of a cherished character not only in the fan's hearts but his own heart as well because he knows, he knows as well as he knows how to breathe, that without Kikumaru he probably wouldn't be where he is today. He would probably be just one of the thousand or so other forgettable working actors in Japan, making a living but just barely. He also knows without Kikumaru, he wouldn't have found his own personal Oishi in Tuti, and that is something to this day and forever he will always be eternally grateful.
They run through the street dodging a hundred other pedestrians who actually paid attention to the weather forecast that morning, wise enough to bring along umbrellas in preparation for when mother nature decided to dump a mother-load of water on Tokyo. Takashi is soaked through, and looking ahead at Tuti's equally drenched backside, finds his friend isn't any dryer as Tuti's hair that usually sticks out at varying angles is now plastered to Tuti's head. It's by sheer miracle neither poke and eye out as they make their way through the umbrella wielding crowd to Tuti's apartment. Their breathing is labored through gasps of laughter, neither truly unnerved by the turn of events for the night, and Takashi, well, rain is par for the course for Takashi's plans, so why would today be any different. Tuti's apartment complex coming into view through the torrential downpour is a sight for sore eyes, and their steps pick up seeing salvation in sight.
They are still laughing as they stumble through the door into Tuti's genkan. Tuti quickly toes off his drenched gym shoes and motions for Takashi to stay.
"I'll get some towels," Tuti says, jogging to the bathroom and quickly returning, offering Takashi one of the two yellow terrycloth towels. "Here you go."
"Thanks," Takashi says, taking the offered towel after removing his shoes and socks, wriggling his toes that are equally wet, and begins toweling off his hair and face.
When he's done, Takashi looks up at Tuti and his breath hitches, eyes widen in surprised shock that he knows he's not quick enough to cover by the concern staring back at him. He swallows past the lump in his throat, praying for words to come when he knows Tuti is going to ask what's wrong.
"Takashi?"
Takashi smiles and shakes his head, trying to dismiss the moment as nothing, but with every look back at Tuti he's reminded again and again of a time when they were basically inseparable (on stage and off) and how much he misses that time, of being on stage with Tuti, not in just any stage production but as his stage partner, as Tuti's Kikumaru, and then the memories begin flashing back, long forgotten memories of the two of them huddling in a corner of the rehearsal hall going over lines and talking out actions. He's reminded of constantly pulling on and playing with those damn Oishi bangs that weren't all that flattering, but he couldn't not play with them either. He remembers a time when they actually did have time to spend together outside of work, seeing plays and hanging out doing nothing more than watching movies they've seen a million times over and enjoying each other's company.
Takashi reaches up and pulls on a few strands of hair that hang over Tuti's forehead, just like Oishi's, and smiles up at his friend shyly, remembering that no matter how much he tries to forget his feelings for Tuti, or how much a part of Takashi life the man before him is, he will never be able to forget, nor does he ever really want to.
Tuti doesn't respond right away, looking Takashi over, and Takashi knows his friend is processing whatever body language he is offering. They've known each other for three years now, and under normal circumstances, should have gone their separate ways after their graduation from the Prince of Tennis musical, but for some reason they keep coming back to each other, on stage and off, whether it's destiny or just sheer coincidence, Takashi isn't sure, but he is definitely not complaining if it means keeping Tuti in his life.
"Huh?" Tuti says, which is accompanied by a stunned, almost enlightening look about Tuti's eyes, as if the man has come to a realization after many years oblivious living, and then Tuti offers a small, shy smile of his own. "Huh."
"Huh, what?" Takashi inquires, beginning to feel a bit nervous standing here almost trapped in Tuti's genkan.
Tuti's mouth opens once, before snapping shut and opens again. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"
"Say anything about what?" Takashi asks, avoiding wherever Tuti was going.
"All this time?"
"All this time, what?" Takashi begins, scrunching up his face in confusion as he attempts to move by Tuti and gain some distance between them. "I don't know what…"
Tuti grabs his wrist and turns to face him. "You were flirting with me!"
"What?" Takashi questions back, laughing, but it's not at the absurdity of the accusation, but more the insanity in knowing Tuti has figured him out.
"Back when… right in front… You…" Tuti lets go of Takashi's wrist and just stares at Takashi in wonder. "And just now?"
Takashi blushes at being found out, at being called on like he was in the first grade pulling on the pig-tales of the girl in the seat next to him. After the first initial tug, Tuti didn't seem to think anything of it, and each subsequent tug or flick or touch received no more attention than if Takashi had punch his friend playfully on the arm with a congratulatory "Well done." And once he started, he couldn't stop, thinking maybe this would be the day Tuti would get it, maybe this time Tuti would look at him and really see what he was doing, what was going on between them, but it never happened, and then the their musical run ended… and now here they were, three years later and finally, finally Tuti gets it, finally Tuti understands, and Takashi is scared to death it could possibly be too late.
"Tuti, I can explain…" but he can't, not really, not in a way that will make everything right between them, because if Tuti had been interested in him, like Kime said back then, Tuti would have picked up on the hints long ago, right? Tuti would have seen what was waiting right there in front of him, waiting for him to reach out and…
"Takashi?
"Yes, okay!" Takashi shouts, knowing there is no reason for him to continue lying and denying what is obvious to both of them now. "Yes, I was flirting with you, okay? Yes."
Takashi turns away and the chill in the apartment, combined with his damp clothing makes him shiver, and all he wants is to be back in his own apartment, alone, and in dry clothes. All he wants is to pretend this isn't happening, that when he wakes up in the morning, Tuti will still call him to see if he can swing a lunch meeting, or a break for coffee, in between rehearsals and the million other obligations that pull them in opposite directions of each other now. All he wants is to keep Tuti in his life, no matter what.
"Hey," Tuti says gently, taking hold of Takashi's arm. "Come on, we both need to get into some dry clothes."
Tuti steers him in the direction of the bathroom and sits him on the edge of the tub. Takashi numbly waits for Tuti to return, staring at his clasped hands and unable to think clearly. If only it hadn't rained. If only he hadn't remembered…
"Here," Tuti's voice startles him, but he calms at the warm smile Tuti offers as he places the track pants and T-shirt on the small bathroom counter before turning and closing the door behind him, leaving Takashi alone to change.
It takes Takashi five minutes to even think of removing his clothes, but once he starts moving, the motions are completed out of habit of dressing and undressing daily. He uses the towel to further dry himself off before pulling on the track pants and T-shirt, and it's not until he's looking in the mirror that he realizes what shirt Tuti gave him. Blossam&Decossam is written across his chest and the sight makes him close his eyes and groan, remembering the text Kime sent him last week, after the shirts went on sale, that read, Why didn't I get invited to the wedding? Takashi realizes that this just isn't his day.
The knock on the door makes him jump.
"You okay?"
Takashi takes a deep breath before turning to open the door.
"I'm fine," he replies, not believing the words himself.
"Takash…"
"Tuti, you don't have to say anything," Takashi interrupts, not wanting or even ready to hear the blow of rejection.
Takashi makes his way past Tuti and back into the living room. He really should just pack up his things and leave, but hearing a rumble of thunder reminds him of their sprint from the train station and he quickly realizes leaving is not an option at this point if he wants to stave off catching pneumonia, wouldn't Tamaoki-san like that one?
"Takashi," Tuti tries again.
"Tuti, really, I'd rather not talk about this," Takashi says again, stopping whatever Tuti was about to say. "It's embarrassing and…"
"Takashi!"
Takashi snaps his mouth shut and turns back to Tuti.
"You really need to shut up," Tuti says, but the words aren't spoken in anger, Tuti offering a subdue smile as he closes the distance between them. "And you really need to listen."
When Takashi meets Tuti's eyes, the look he receives keeps him frozen in his spot, watching as Tuti reaches out a hand tentatively, but with confidence tugs on a lock of Takashi's bangs. Takashi's breath catches again before warmth spreads through his chest and relief floods his limbs. The blush that colors Tuti's cheeks in turn is a pleasant surprise, and the moment is only made that much more real by the words Tuti finally speaks.
"I like Takashi, too."
Takashi's smile widens at that memory as he saves the picture of a sleeping Tuti and begins composing a post to his blog. Tuti in recent days has begun to regret his blanket permission, allowing Takashi to post any picture he chooses without further approval, but truthfully, Tuti knows Takashi well enough to know Takashi understands what is appropriate and what is not. He adds a couple other photos at the beginning of the post, one of Moriyama and Noaya talking shop, another showing off Moriyama's Momoshiro hair, and lastly includes the one of sleeping Tuti with his Oishi fangs. He adds a quick message of explanation and sends the post to his blog. When he looks back up at Tuti, he can't help snapping a few more pictures for his own personal collection.
Yes, he is definitely ready to let Kikumaru go. It's not that Kikumaru won't still be a part of him, but Takashi finally realizes he no longer needs to hold onto Kikumaru in order to hold onto Tuti, he hasn't needed to for a couple years now, but it has taken him until this moment to realize that fact. They never needed specific characters, or plays, or various television and movie productions to keep them together. All they ever really needed was each other, and a few hints along the way.