Kansai Love Magic - Sequel to Suigan no Ai, 2/2
Title: Kansai Love Magic - Sequel to Suigan no Ai
Author: Rissa
Genre: Romance/Drama
Rating: PG-13 for kissing and language
Word Count: 13,847
Summary: It's the morning after the events at the karaoke lounge and Nagayan is faced with a tough decision, to acknowledge his memories and his feelings for Tuti, or move on and blame it on a drunken night of passion...
A/N: LJ really needs to increase its word limit >_<
- - -
Nagayan’s brain grounded to a halt as his heart slammed uncomfortably against the inside of his chest. Whatever dam had been holding his emotions back had somehow disappeared over the course of the last few minutes without him even realizing it, though on some level he wasn’t surprised that speaking so candidly to Tuti had managed to break down his barriers. Tuti always had a way of getting through to him and reaching deep into the most private parts of his heart, and it was that unique ability of his that had made them such close friends in the first place, as well as caused Nagayan to reevaluate the depth of his feelings for the other man. There were few who knew him the way Tuti did and few who even after a year could still surprise Nagayan and make him feel like he’d come to possess a precious kind of relationship and understanding with one person all over again. Wasn’t that sort of thing what everyone desired when it came to love? That constant reaffirmation that there were still things left to be discovered, that both sides of the relationship had the ability to evolve and learn and adapt to the other without compromising the things about themselves that made them desirable in the first place?
Nagayan had no idea if he’d made the same realization last night or even been capable of it in his inebriated state, and more than likely it had been his dick doing the thinking if his memories were any indication. But here in the middle of the day, perched on a bed inside a hotel room miles away from home, out of reach from management or his family or the things that probably would have made him pause to rethink his conclusions, Nagayan knew he was in love with Tuti. Without a doubt, hopelessly in love.
Nagayan hoped he wasn’t blushing as he turned his head, his mind abuzz with Tuti’s words and his own insight, though in truth the only thing surprising had been finally admitting to himself that the word love could be applied to his feelings toward Tuti. “We haven’t done enough to make it incest,” Nagayan disagreed quietly.
Tuti chuckled and when Nagayan looked at him one of Tuti’s eyebrows lifted in question. “Maybe your memory isn’t as complete as you think?”
“We only kissed!” Nagayan protested, and he could feel how warm his cheeks flushed once the words had left his mouth.
Tuti moved closer on the bed and Nagayan held himself still as the bed dipped under the weight, causing the mattress to sink slightly in front of his knees. Tuti was smiling and he seemed completely unperturbed by his own words or Nagayan’s denial, though it could be argued that Nagayan had in fact just admitted in broad daylight what they’d done in the empty karaoke lounge the night before when neither of them had spoken about it directly beforehand.
“Just kissed?” Tuti echoed, cocking his head thoughtfully. “I think we did more than just that.”
Nagayan balked slightly, feeling a surge of frustration for his own spotty memories even though his gut insisted that he and Tuti hadn’t done anything together besides what had transpired in the empty room. Did Tuti know something he didn’t or was he being teased again? Nagayan lifted his chin firmly. “I think I remember enough. We were only in that room for a few minutes, we couldn’t have done anything else. And I know we didn’t do anything else afterwards either, Kimeru would have told me.”
Tuti let out a short laugh that faded quickly to be replaced by a look that was amused but also just a little disappointed. “I didn’t mean we did anything like that, and I think I’d feel a whole lot worse thinking that I took advantage of you while you were drunk. I just meant…”
Tuti looked away and licked his bottom lip, a familiar habit of expressing his discomfort that Nagayan hadn’t expected to see when it was usually reserved for things like rehearsal rooms and difficult scenes. For once Tuti wasn’t smiling and it left a funny feeling in Nagayan’s stomach, though a part of him knew that all along their conversation had been leading to this point where jokes and laughter needed to be replaced by an effort approach the discussion seriously. Nagayan knew that the least he could hope for was a quick and painless resolution, and that he’d be allowed to walk away with their friendship still intact despite how much the events of last night might have damaged that.
“I just meant, well, that I thought at least that we’d made a connection. It could have been the alcohol talking but they say that you don’t do anything even while intoxicated that you wouldn’t be willing to do if the circumstances were different while you’re sober. I’ve been known to get pretty mean sometimes when I’m drunk but I always realize later that there had been something there bothering me all along, something I felt I needed to say but couldn’t bring myself to do beforehand, so it just took getting my inhibitions lowered enough too speak my mind. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work? We keep things bottled up inside, feelings and impulses or maybe something we’ve wanted to say for a while but ignored it or couldn’t bring ourselves to say it. I don’t like to believe that anything we do when we’re drunk has no meaning at all or just came out of the blue for no reason whatsoever, our minds just don’t work that way. And sometimes maybe it’s a good thing, if there’s something we need to say or acknowledge even inside our own heads. Stuff like that shouldn’t be ignored just because it seems easier to repress it or pretend it doesn’t exist.”
Tuti turned his head to look back at Nagayan, who’d been silent and a little awed by the honesty of Tuti’s words, and just how much it said for Tuti’s actions as well as his own. “You kissed me first, in that hallway,” Tuti pointed out, his eyes serious as they locked with Nagayan’s. “I know I was pushing you the whole night, but you’re the one who kissed me first.”
Nagayan nodded, knowing there was no point in denying his actions.
“So, Takashi, don’t you think that means we should talk about it?”
Nagayan shifted and scratched his neck uncomfortably. “Even if what you said is true, I mean, I agree with you about being more likely to do things when you’re drunk when you probably wouldn’t have given them a second thought any other time, but that doesn’t always mean that it should be taken seriously once you’re sober again. Sometimes people say things they’re ashamed of later, or do something that maybe hurt someone else, or make a big deal out of something that might have been bothering them but really wasn’t that important and it just came out wrong. It’s important to talk but it’s also important not to take things too seriously if the alcohol just caused things to get carried away.”
“So which one is this?” Tuti asked, his voice pitched to an unexpectedly grave tone that had the hairs on Nagayan’s arms prickling. It was hard for Nagayan to tell whether his friend was irritated with the conversation or using the façade to cover some other emotion, and the still planes of Tuti’s face did little to reveal his thoughts.
“I guess the alcohol could have had something to do with it,” Nagayan replied slowly, picking through this words. “Maybe we just got carried away.”
“Do you really believe that?” Tuti asked after a moment. He wasn’t looking at Nagayan and had his face turned toward the ceiling, one hand on the bed to help him keep his balance as he leaned back slightly. Nagayan said nothing and Tuti let out a deep sigh that made his chest rise and fall noticeably under his t-shirt. Nagayan was familiar with the particular article of clothing and he’d sometimes found himself tracing the white spirals over Tuti’s chest that stood out so brightly against the black material. He knew it was one of Tuti’s favorites.
“Do you remember what we said last night?” Tuti asked at length, his attention still focused on the ceiling.
“No,” Nagayan admitted. Despite how much this seemed like a precursor to walking into dangerous territory, Nagayan was curious anyway.
“You told me you’d been thinking about kissing me for a long time, and I said I’d been thinking the same thing. I told you that I didn’t even like guys, but that was a lie. You’re just the first guy I’ve liked in a long time, the first guy I’ve liked this much. Maybe it’s because you’re my best friend too and we’ve gotten close that way first, or maybe it’s because there were always these gaps between shows and when we could see each other. Every time we met again it felt like we’d somehow gotten closer even while we’d been apart. It was crazy, I told myself it was silly, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I thought it would go away on its own but just when I thought it could happen we’d be together again and I’d completely forget that I ever wanted you out of my life. And then it didn’t matter anymore. This show… I realized that I’d just been running scared and that I had something really special going on, even if it was just inside my own head, but there were times when I was so sure that I wasn’t making it up, that maybe you felt the same way I did. Sometimes I felt the connection so strongly it hurt. And then last night happened and I was so happy but we were both drunk and… I have to wonder if it meant more to me than it did to you, if maybe you were just reflecting my feelings back at me or if I’d just dreamed up the whole thing. That’s why I have to know, Takashi, that’s why we have to talk. I don’t want to go back to Tokyo second-guessing myself and I don’t want to spend the next few months wishing things had gone differently or regretting not taking the time to talk to you when I still had the chance. If it was just the alcohol I can understand but I know that I felt something, and I don’t want to pretend that didn’t happen, because… even if it was a mistake, it was still a nice feeling.”
Nagayan’s heart was pounding and that heavy sensation of blood rushing through his chest and his veins was the only thing that reminded him that he was still inside his own body, as he was sure that under normal circumstances hearing so much raw honesty from Tuti would have had the power to kill him dead on the spot. His pulse was racing but he felt strangely light-headed, and it was hard to tell whether it was anxiety or relief that was making his stomach turn over itself so strongly, a kind of expectation that Nagayan couldn’t ever remember having felt so heavily before. It was the sweetest and most unexpected confession Nagayan had ever heard, and that it had come from his best friend, from the person who he had knowingly given his heart to without expecting to have another handed back, it made the gesture all the more amazing.
Nagayan pushed himself onto his knees, drawing Tuti’s gaze to him as he made the short crawl to cover the distance between their bodies, and Tuti’s eyes widened as Nagayan climbed right up and onto the other man’s lap and brought their faces level with each other. Tuti’s cheeks were a little pink up close and Nagayan had a feeling that his face looked the same, though he hardly felt the need to be embarrassed by it when at the moment he needed all of his courage to follow through on the raw impulses flooding through his body. He lifted his hands and placed one on each of Tuti’s shoulders, settling the lower part of his body across the other man’s thighs.
“I’m sorry,” Nagayan said quietly and with as much heartfelt sincerity behind it as he could muster up into his voice. He closed the gap between them and kissed Tuti.
Tuti’s lips were still under the touch of Nagayan’s mouth for only a moment before they relaxed and returned the kiss, something so gentle and sweet unexpected about it that Nagayan wondered how he could have failed to remember this about last night. It wasn’t perfect but it was real and warm and felt like coming home. The kiss was slow and dry and yet still managed to make the hairs on Nagayan’s neck prickle, enveloped as he was by the smell of Tuti and the chest near his own and the warm skin under his fingers. It was perfect.
The pressure of Tuti’s lips gently increased, urging the kiss to deepen slightly, the nature of it coaxing their mouths to part and meet again in a way that gradually wetted the other’s lips. Nagayan’s heart rate sped up pleasantly under the influence of the kisses and his limbs felt heavy and weightless at the same time, as if his grip on Tuti was the only thing grounding him from simply floating away in a warm haze. Tuti was all he could taste and smell and feel and the reality of it was pale in comparison to his memories, and he had to wonder how he could have ever thought of giving this up, of being content with just a few scattered images and a broken heart when this had been waiting for him all this time.
Tuti’s hands finally left the bedspread to wrap around Nagayan’s lower back, and the hold was surprisingly firm as he pulled Nagayan against him so that their chests were pressed together. The kiss broke for a moment as each of them took several deep breaths, and Nagayan used the opportunity to slide his hands from Tuti’s shoulders so that his arms could encircle around the other man’s neck. They were both smiling, though Tuti’s looked a little shy and still somewhat surprised over the kiss they’d shared.
“Sorry for what?” Tuti asked softly.
“For being an idiot,” Nagayan replied and laid a quick peck against Tuti’s lips. Tuti’s lips followed him back as Nagayan broke off the kiss, and he laughed quietly. “And for not telling you about how I feel sooner.”
“How you feel?” Tuti inquired. Nagayan felt one of the hands on his back shift to slide against the material of his t-shirt, gently stroking the length of his back.
Nagayan nodded quickly, his eyes lowering to fall on Tuti’s chin once more. “Me too. I feel the same way you do.”
“Do you really?” Tuti asked, his tone almost playful but also curious. Nagayan felt the hand on his back move to his side, where it continued to slowly stroke the skin through his t-shirt, and he shivered involuntarily under the touch.
“I really do, I…” Nagayan broke off, meeting Tuti’s eyes and wetting his lips. “It’s taken a long time but I like you. Really like you. The alcohol didn’t help me to realize anything. I just never thought you might feel the same way.”
Tuti leaned up and caught Nagayan’s mouth in another soft kiss, drawing his bottom lip to suck on it gently before he released it and spoke against Nagayan’s mouth. “You really like me.”
It wasn’t a question but Nagayan could hear the wonder in those words, and it made him smile as he held Tuti a little tighter. “I do.”
“You really like me,” Tuti said again and kissed Nagayan, firmer this time and with a enough pressure to make Nagayan suck in a surprised breath at the unexpected intensity. Tuti’s hands were moving on his back and they circled around him to press their bodies together from belly to collarbone, and Nagayan was grateful to already be sitting down from the way this made his thighs feel weak with need for Tuti.
When the kiss broke Nagayan was expecting to hear another repetition from Tuti, and there was a smile on his lips ready to answer him, but instead Tuti pressed his head against Nagayan’s shoulder and kept it there. Nagayan instinctively strengthened his hold around Tuti’s shoulders and held the other man to him, breathing the scent of this man he loved and marveling at the way his heart was pounding and yet he felt absolutely calm and happy for the first time.
“I really like you too,” Tuti whispered against his neck, and Nagayan held back the tremble that went through him to smile against Tuti’s shoulder.
They were going to be just fine.
Author: Rissa
Genre: Romance/Drama
Rating: PG-13 for kissing and language
Word Count: 13,847
Summary: It's the morning after the events at the karaoke lounge and Nagayan is faced with a tough decision, to acknowledge his memories and his feelings for Tuti, or move on and blame it on a drunken night of passion...
A/N: LJ really needs to increase its word limit >_<
- - -
Nagayan’s brain grounded to a halt as his heart slammed uncomfortably against the inside of his chest. Whatever dam had been holding his emotions back had somehow disappeared over the course of the last few minutes without him even realizing it, though on some level he wasn’t surprised that speaking so candidly to Tuti had managed to break down his barriers. Tuti always had a way of getting through to him and reaching deep into the most private parts of his heart, and it was that unique ability of his that had made them such close friends in the first place, as well as caused Nagayan to reevaluate the depth of his feelings for the other man. There were few who knew him the way Tuti did and few who even after a year could still surprise Nagayan and make him feel like he’d come to possess a precious kind of relationship and understanding with one person all over again. Wasn’t that sort of thing what everyone desired when it came to love? That constant reaffirmation that there were still things left to be discovered, that both sides of the relationship had the ability to evolve and learn and adapt to the other without compromising the things about themselves that made them desirable in the first place?
Nagayan had no idea if he’d made the same realization last night or even been capable of it in his inebriated state, and more than likely it had been his dick doing the thinking if his memories were any indication. But here in the middle of the day, perched on a bed inside a hotel room miles away from home, out of reach from management or his family or the things that probably would have made him pause to rethink his conclusions, Nagayan knew he was in love with Tuti. Without a doubt, hopelessly in love.
Nagayan hoped he wasn’t blushing as he turned his head, his mind abuzz with Tuti’s words and his own insight, though in truth the only thing surprising had been finally admitting to himself that the word love could be applied to his feelings toward Tuti. “We haven’t done enough to make it incest,” Nagayan disagreed quietly.
Tuti chuckled and when Nagayan looked at him one of Tuti’s eyebrows lifted in question. “Maybe your memory isn’t as complete as you think?”
“We only kissed!” Nagayan protested, and he could feel how warm his cheeks flushed once the words had left his mouth.
Tuti moved closer on the bed and Nagayan held himself still as the bed dipped under the weight, causing the mattress to sink slightly in front of his knees. Tuti was smiling and he seemed completely unperturbed by his own words or Nagayan’s denial, though it could be argued that Nagayan had in fact just admitted in broad daylight what they’d done in the empty karaoke lounge the night before when neither of them had spoken about it directly beforehand.
“Just kissed?” Tuti echoed, cocking his head thoughtfully. “I think we did more than just that.”
Nagayan balked slightly, feeling a surge of frustration for his own spotty memories even though his gut insisted that he and Tuti hadn’t done anything together besides what had transpired in the empty room. Did Tuti know something he didn’t or was he being teased again? Nagayan lifted his chin firmly. “I think I remember enough. We were only in that room for a few minutes, we couldn’t have done anything else. And I know we didn’t do anything else afterwards either, Kimeru would have told me.”
Tuti let out a short laugh that faded quickly to be replaced by a look that was amused but also just a little disappointed. “I didn’t mean we did anything like that, and I think I’d feel a whole lot worse thinking that I took advantage of you while you were drunk. I just meant…”
Tuti looked away and licked his bottom lip, a familiar habit of expressing his discomfort that Nagayan hadn’t expected to see when it was usually reserved for things like rehearsal rooms and difficult scenes. For once Tuti wasn’t smiling and it left a funny feeling in Nagayan’s stomach, though a part of him knew that all along their conversation had been leading to this point where jokes and laughter needed to be replaced by an effort approach the discussion seriously. Nagayan knew that the least he could hope for was a quick and painless resolution, and that he’d be allowed to walk away with their friendship still intact despite how much the events of last night might have damaged that.
“I just meant, well, that I thought at least that we’d made a connection. It could have been the alcohol talking but they say that you don’t do anything even while intoxicated that you wouldn’t be willing to do if the circumstances were different while you’re sober. I’ve been known to get pretty mean sometimes when I’m drunk but I always realize later that there had been something there bothering me all along, something I felt I needed to say but couldn’t bring myself to do beforehand, so it just took getting my inhibitions lowered enough too speak my mind. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work? We keep things bottled up inside, feelings and impulses or maybe something we’ve wanted to say for a while but ignored it or couldn’t bring ourselves to say it. I don’t like to believe that anything we do when we’re drunk has no meaning at all or just came out of the blue for no reason whatsoever, our minds just don’t work that way. And sometimes maybe it’s a good thing, if there’s something we need to say or acknowledge even inside our own heads. Stuff like that shouldn’t be ignored just because it seems easier to repress it or pretend it doesn’t exist.”
Tuti turned his head to look back at Nagayan, who’d been silent and a little awed by the honesty of Tuti’s words, and just how much it said for Tuti’s actions as well as his own. “You kissed me first, in that hallway,” Tuti pointed out, his eyes serious as they locked with Nagayan’s. “I know I was pushing you the whole night, but you’re the one who kissed me first.”
Nagayan nodded, knowing there was no point in denying his actions.
“So, Takashi, don’t you think that means we should talk about it?”
Nagayan shifted and scratched his neck uncomfortably. “Even if what you said is true, I mean, I agree with you about being more likely to do things when you’re drunk when you probably wouldn’t have given them a second thought any other time, but that doesn’t always mean that it should be taken seriously once you’re sober again. Sometimes people say things they’re ashamed of later, or do something that maybe hurt someone else, or make a big deal out of something that might have been bothering them but really wasn’t that important and it just came out wrong. It’s important to talk but it’s also important not to take things too seriously if the alcohol just caused things to get carried away.”
“So which one is this?” Tuti asked, his voice pitched to an unexpectedly grave tone that had the hairs on Nagayan’s arms prickling. It was hard for Nagayan to tell whether his friend was irritated with the conversation or using the façade to cover some other emotion, and the still planes of Tuti’s face did little to reveal his thoughts.
“I guess the alcohol could have had something to do with it,” Nagayan replied slowly, picking through this words. “Maybe we just got carried away.”
“Do you really believe that?” Tuti asked after a moment. He wasn’t looking at Nagayan and had his face turned toward the ceiling, one hand on the bed to help him keep his balance as he leaned back slightly. Nagayan said nothing and Tuti let out a deep sigh that made his chest rise and fall noticeably under his t-shirt. Nagayan was familiar with the particular article of clothing and he’d sometimes found himself tracing the white spirals over Tuti’s chest that stood out so brightly against the black material. He knew it was one of Tuti’s favorites.
“Do you remember what we said last night?” Tuti asked at length, his attention still focused on the ceiling.
“No,” Nagayan admitted. Despite how much this seemed like a precursor to walking into dangerous territory, Nagayan was curious anyway.
“You told me you’d been thinking about kissing me for a long time, and I said I’d been thinking the same thing. I told you that I didn’t even like guys, but that was a lie. You’re just the first guy I’ve liked in a long time, the first guy I’ve liked this much. Maybe it’s because you’re my best friend too and we’ve gotten close that way first, or maybe it’s because there were always these gaps between shows and when we could see each other. Every time we met again it felt like we’d somehow gotten closer even while we’d been apart. It was crazy, I told myself it was silly, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I thought it would go away on its own but just when I thought it could happen we’d be together again and I’d completely forget that I ever wanted you out of my life. And then it didn’t matter anymore. This show… I realized that I’d just been running scared and that I had something really special going on, even if it was just inside my own head, but there were times when I was so sure that I wasn’t making it up, that maybe you felt the same way I did. Sometimes I felt the connection so strongly it hurt. And then last night happened and I was so happy but we were both drunk and… I have to wonder if it meant more to me than it did to you, if maybe you were just reflecting my feelings back at me or if I’d just dreamed up the whole thing. That’s why I have to know, Takashi, that’s why we have to talk. I don’t want to go back to Tokyo second-guessing myself and I don’t want to spend the next few months wishing things had gone differently or regretting not taking the time to talk to you when I still had the chance. If it was just the alcohol I can understand but I know that I felt something, and I don’t want to pretend that didn’t happen, because… even if it was a mistake, it was still a nice feeling.”
Nagayan’s heart was pounding and that heavy sensation of blood rushing through his chest and his veins was the only thing that reminded him that he was still inside his own body, as he was sure that under normal circumstances hearing so much raw honesty from Tuti would have had the power to kill him dead on the spot. His pulse was racing but he felt strangely light-headed, and it was hard to tell whether it was anxiety or relief that was making his stomach turn over itself so strongly, a kind of expectation that Nagayan couldn’t ever remember having felt so heavily before. It was the sweetest and most unexpected confession Nagayan had ever heard, and that it had come from his best friend, from the person who he had knowingly given his heart to without expecting to have another handed back, it made the gesture all the more amazing.
Nagayan pushed himself onto his knees, drawing Tuti’s gaze to him as he made the short crawl to cover the distance between their bodies, and Tuti’s eyes widened as Nagayan climbed right up and onto the other man’s lap and brought their faces level with each other. Tuti’s cheeks were a little pink up close and Nagayan had a feeling that his face looked the same, though he hardly felt the need to be embarrassed by it when at the moment he needed all of his courage to follow through on the raw impulses flooding through his body. He lifted his hands and placed one on each of Tuti’s shoulders, settling the lower part of his body across the other man’s thighs.
“I’m sorry,” Nagayan said quietly and with as much heartfelt sincerity behind it as he could muster up into his voice. He closed the gap between them and kissed Tuti.
Tuti’s lips were still under the touch of Nagayan’s mouth for only a moment before they relaxed and returned the kiss, something so gentle and sweet unexpected about it that Nagayan wondered how he could have failed to remember this about last night. It wasn’t perfect but it was real and warm and felt like coming home. The kiss was slow and dry and yet still managed to make the hairs on Nagayan’s neck prickle, enveloped as he was by the smell of Tuti and the chest near his own and the warm skin under his fingers. It was perfect.
The pressure of Tuti’s lips gently increased, urging the kiss to deepen slightly, the nature of it coaxing their mouths to part and meet again in a way that gradually wetted the other’s lips. Nagayan’s heart rate sped up pleasantly under the influence of the kisses and his limbs felt heavy and weightless at the same time, as if his grip on Tuti was the only thing grounding him from simply floating away in a warm haze. Tuti was all he could taste and smell and feel and the reality of it was pale in comparison to his memories, and he had to wonder how he could have ever thought of giving this up, of being content with just a few scattered images and a broken heart when this had been waiting for him all this time.
Tuti’s hands finally left the bedspread to wrap around Nagayan’s lower back, and the hold was surprisingly firm as he pulled Nagayan against him so that their chests were pressed together. The kiss broke for a moment as each of them took several deep breaths, and Nagayan used the opportunity to slide his hands from Tuti’s shoulders so that his arms could encircle around the other man’s neck. They were both smiling, though Tuti’s looked a little shy and still somewhat surprised over the kiss they’d shared.
“Sorry for what?” Tuti asked softly.
“For being an idiot,” Nagayan replied and laid a quick peck against Tuti’s lips. Tuti’s lips followed him back as Nagayan broke off the kiss, and he laughed quietly. “And for not telling you about how I feel sooner.”
“How you feel?” Tuti inquired. Nagayan felt one of the hands on his back shift to slide against the material of his t-shirt, gently stroking the length of his back.
Nagayan nodded quickly, his eyes lowering to fall on Tuti’s chin once more. “Me too. I feel the same way you do.”
“Do you really?” Tuti asked, his tone almost playful but also curious. Nagayan felt the hand on his back move to his side, where it continued to slowly stroke the skin through his t-shirt, and he shivered involuntarily under the touch.
“I really do, I…” Nagayan broke off, meeting Tuti’s eyes and wetting his lips. “It’s taken a long time but I like you. Really like you. The alcohol didn’t help me to realize anything. I just never thought you might feel the same way.”
Tuti leaned up and caught Nagayan’s mouth in another soft kiss, drawing his bottom lip to suck on it gently before he released it and spoke against Nagayan’s mouth. “You really like me.”
It wasn’t a question but Nagayan could hear the wonder in those words, and it made him smile as he held Tuti a little tighter. “I do.”
“You really like me,” Tuti said again and kissed Nagayan, firmer this time and with a enough pressure to make Nagayan suck in a surprised breath at the unexpected intensity. Tuti’s hands were moving on his back and they circled around him to press their bodies together from belly to collarbone, and Nagayan was grateful to already be sitting down from the way this made his thighs feel weak with need for Tuti.
When the kiss broke Nagayan was expecting to hear another repetition from Tuti, and there was a smile on his lips ready to answer him, but instead Tuti pressed his head against Nagayan’s shoulder and kept it there. Nagayan instinctively strengthened his hold around Tuti’s shoulders and held the other man to him, breathing the scent of this man he loved and marveling at the way his heart was pounding and yet he felt absolutely calm and happy for the first time.
“I really like you too,” Tuti whispered against his neck, and Nagayan held back the tremble that went through him to smile against Tuti’s shoulder.
They were going to be just fine.