"If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar" <3
AHHHHH!!! My last post was a bunch of shit! So I made it private! haha I totally do NOT have a problem with voicing my concerns to people. I never had any problem with telling people things. I only had a problem with telling a few certain people things, because they were fragile-like and I didn't want to deal with it. Anyway! I'm not going to ruin my post with stuff!
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I feel like I need to make things the way they used to be. Things used to be more fun. I was reading facebook and lj comments and posts and things just were better last year. I don't know what went so wrong this year. I know that I was glad and saddened by the loss of the best friend I have ever had, but I don't think that should've set the tone for the rest of the year. That whole situation was basically ignored for the most part, until recently of some sort. I think it is only natural to miss old friends. I blamed her for the most part at first, but then I thought about it, and it really wasn't completely our faults. It was everyone around us who did us in. It was our faults for letting stupid shit get to us, but it happened. I'm fine with it. Would I have liked to stay friends? Yes. Would others have done us in no matter what? I believe so. I think we were doomed toward the end of our friendship.
ANYWAY! I just feel like things should be like they used to. I know that me and Lindsey can't hang out as much as anyone would like, but when we do hang out I want it to feel like old times. She may disagree, like she has been doing when I mention things like this, but I just don't feel like things will ever be the same. That needs to change. Sometimes I feel like it is all my fault we don't have as much fun, but I know that isn't true. I know we both contribute to the lameness.
AHH!! The Best of Me by The Starting Line! It reminds me of fun happy times! It reminds me of debating whether or not the lead singer was cute, with Leslie. Then deciding that he was fine, but that Leslie wanted to go with the guitarist. And the fact that she wanted the star tattoo he had on his hand. After a while we decided that the singer was not fine, but he was fun anyway. haha
Anyway, back to the other thing. I know things can't be exactly like they were before, but they shouldn't be completely different. The only thing that should be different, is the fact that Leslie isn't around. All the fun should still be there. I'm not saying that things aren't fun at all, I'm just saying that things could be way more fun. I even made a list to try and make things more fun, but that shouldn't be needed. I just feel like I shouldn't force fun. It should just happen, but that fact that it doesn't, makes me want to force it, ya know? I have fun with myself and my mother all the time, that's never a surprise. I just assume things are bad when I have more fun with Jr then my own best friend. Once again, I'm not saying that it is all her fault. I could make an effort, but I'm not inspired I suppose I can say.
Fucking Metro Station. haha That reminds me of Leslie bad. Haha They are all good reminders though. haha I'm listening to Control. We both think he should say "Let's Just Fuck" instead of "Let's just touch". I mean you know that just sounds so much better, and it goes just so much better. haha
Anyway, I don't mean to make Lindsey feel like shit when I say I wish things were more fun. It just has no other way of coming out. I think the only way to say that nice is to not say it at all.
"We won't be seventeen forever!" GOOD! haha Actually, I miss 17 a little bit. haha Metro Station just decides it wants to play another song. It doesn't want to be shuffled at all. haha Isn't this the next song after Control? *looks* Nope, it's first, so I guess it is shuffled, but still. Come on! haha
Man, songs are making me get off track and not have the will to talk about things anymore. haha Oh well, I love songs that take me to a good point in time. I hope the next song is like that. It will probably give me a memory, but nothing worth talking about. haha
PANIC! AT THE DISCO! Okay, I lied about not having anything to talk about. haha Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off! Love this song! haha I remember when Leslie got this cd. My mom had taken us out and Leslie bought this cd. We played it in the car, and then she let me borrow it for the night so I could copy it for myself. I think it was a couple days before she got it back from me. haha I remember her saying how she bought a cd and I've listened to it more than her. haha It was great. I'm not sure why it took so long for her to get it back from me. haha
AHH! I AM TOTALLY OFF TRACK!! I kicked the cats water dish and it spilled everywhere, and it kind of got on the power strip. It hasn't started a house fire or turn the power off, so that's good. If the power goes out I will cry, because I'm upstairs by myself, and I don't like when it's dark up here. haha
Skeptics and True Believers by The Academy Is... LOVE! <3 It also reminds me of Leslie. Man, all of these songs lead me to her. Way for her to be a big part of my musical endeavors. haha
AHH!! Tearin' Up My Heart by N'sync!!!! This is my jam! haha This also reminds me of Leslie. We used to jam this song all the time! It was a very large part of our Ugly Sweater/ Boy Band party we had! hahaha Good times. lol
I WISH THINGS WERE MORE FUN! I can't say that enough. Leslie being gone didn't turn my life boring. I have fun in my alone time. I find it easier to entertain myself, mostly because I like everything I do. haha I mean HELLO! It is me. haha
Hear Me Out by Silverstein! AHHH! GREAT SONG! haha OH! It doesn't remind me of a time with Leslie! haha All I remember about her and Silverstein is when she told me that she didn't love them as much as I did. She said that about them and Scary Kids Scaring Kids. There was a reason why too, but I can't really remember. I absolutely LOVE SKSK! But them losers aren't a band anymore! BOO!!!
AHAHAHAHA! Jesse McCartney! haha She's No You! haha Love that song! It reminds me of Emily and Leslie. haha Mostly he reminds me of Emily, because she was the reson I even heard of him. haha Leslie, because she kept that cd alive with me. haha We would listen to it on the bus and talk about how it was embarrassing and that we would lie to people about what it was. haha We never had to lie, but I doubt we would lie about it. haha
AHHH! HOTEL CALIFORNIA! LOVE IT! I absolutely ROCK at playing this on Guitar Hero! Expert I can play it on. haha I can't get 100%, but 98 and 99 are pretty damn close scores! haha I just LOVE the Eagles! Me and my mom got to see them in concert! It was great! They are just awesome! haha <3
Man! Songs are soo distracting! haha ANYWAY! I have fun with myself and with my mom. Pretty much my home life is boring, and fun all at the same time. haha I think it only really gets boring when I have no money. I think the whole no fun thing mostly started when me and Lindsey couldn't hang out as much, because she is 2 hours away. We don't really have time to do anything exciting, because she has to do homework, chill with family, and then leave on sunday. She doesn't get too much time to do tons of stuff. I mean we can totally do something fun, but it is hard to what. No one will ever make a decision. I would like to go out, but I never have money, and I don't like using her gas. Then when we are at someones house we don't really have much to do. Oh well. As much as I hate this change, I have to deal with it, until something changes again. Blah!
ENOUGH WITH THAT! I'M GETTING LESS HYPER! KITTENS!!!!! THEY ARE A PAIN IN MY ASSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I swear that if I could I'd take it alllllll, take it all awaaaaay, all the sorrow and the pain" Love SKSK! AHH!!
So, this was by far the worst Halloweens I have ever had. I mean Rhiannon's pad was fun and awesome, but it just didn't feel like Halloween to me. I got dressed up, but it wasn't a costume I had been planning forever because I was excited to wear it. I made the costume up the night before. And I still wasn't sure what I was doing completely. I decided my hair the next day. It just wasn't Halloween to me. I didn't go trick or treating, or carve pumpkins. I didn't even do anything scary. I don't mind the not doing scary things, but I'm slightly disappointed.
Ahhh!! Psycho by System of a Down! This was totally mine and Leslie's jam! We liked to steal peoples mixed cds and find songs. This was one of the awesome ones we found! Love it! "PSYCHO! GROUPIE! COCAINE! CRAZY! psycho groupie cocain crazy, psycho groupie coke, makes you high makes you high makes you really wanna go!" haha LOVE IT!
Man! I totally miss old times! This music totally isn't making it better! haha I don't really want last year back, because I know how it ends. I want it to be like fresh and new like 6th grade was, or fun like the years leading up until the demise of Me and Leslie. I want to discover all this music all over again. I want to spend every nice, or bearable, day outside in the street. I want to spend every cold say in my house, or at a friends house (I suppose with my example it would really be Leslie's house, instead of just any friend's house). I want late night phone conversations. I want sleep overs that end up as unintentional all nighters. I want to be ready for bed, lay down, turn the lights off, and then have the words never stop. I want to be ready for bed and then spring up and make up a new coded language. I just want things to be fun again. I don't mean the 'we have fun here and there' fun. I want like everyday to be a sleep over, or everyday to be something new, something fun. I want to throw band members birthday parties. I want to spend all day watching music videos(which I can't do because they took Fuse away! Bastards at Dish Network!) I want to sit and pick the hottest one in a band. I want to pretend they are chillin' with us and have a whole things with them. I want to write stories or poems for each other. I want to draw pictures, or really receive pictures. I want to sing every word to a song together. I want to reinact a music video, or immitate people for the hell of it. I want to throw random parties that only involve us and are completely stupid. I can't explain it. All that explains it is the fact that I want old times.
My legs are asleep because there is a pile of kittens on them! AHH!! haha I believe I am done. This was going to be a happy happy post, but it was a mix of happy happy and complaints. I don't know if they are complaints. I guess I will leave that up to other people. haha ^_^
Hawthorne Heights = Love!
AHHHHHHHHHH THE USED ARE THE BEST EVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 I can't make those heart signs enough!!!!!! <3
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I feel like I need to make things the way they used to be. Things used to be more fun. I was reading facebook and lj comments and posts and things just were better last year. I don't know what went so wrong this year. I know that I was glad and saddened by the loss of the best friend I have ever had, but I don't think that should've set the tone for the rest of the year. That whole situation was basically ignored for the most part, until recently of some sort. I think it is only natural to miss old friends. I blamed her for the most part at first, but then I thought about it, and it really wasn't completely our faults. It was everyone around us who did us in. It was our faults for letting stupid shit get to us, but it happened. I'm fine with it. Would I have liked to stay friends? Yes. Would others have done us in no matter what? I believe so. I think we were doomed toward the end of our friendship.
ANYWAY! I just feel like things should be like they used to. I know that me and Lindsey can't hang out as much as anyone would like, but when we do hang out I want it to feel like old times. She may disagree, like she has been doing when I mention things like this, but I just don't feel like things will ever be the same. That needs to change. Sometimes I feel like it is all my fault we don't have as much fun, but I know that isn't true. I know we both contribute to the lameness.
AHH!! The Best of Me by The Starting Line! It reminds me of fun happy times! It reminds me of debating whether or not the lead singer was cute, with Leslie. Then deciding that he was fine, but that Leslie wanted to go with the guitarist. And the fact that she wanted the star tattoo he had on his hand. After a while we decided that the singer was not fine, but he was fun anyway. haha
Anyway, back to the other thing. I know things can't be exactly like they were before, but they shouldn't be completely different. The only thing that should be different, is the fact that Leslie isn't around. All the fun should still be there. I'm not saying that things aren't fun at all, I'm just saying that things could be way more fun. I even made a list to try and make things more fun, but that shouldn't be needed. I just feel like I shouldn't force fun. It should just happen, but that fact that it doesn't, makes me want to force it, ya know? I have fun with myself and my mother all the time, that's never a surprise. I just assume things are bad when I have more fun with Jr then my own best friend. Once again, I'm not saying that it is all her fault. I could make an effort, but I'm not inspired I suppose I can say.
Fucking Metro Station. haha That reminds me of Leslie bad. Haha They are all good reminders though. haha I'm listening to Control. We both think he should say "Let's Just Fuck" instead of "Let's just touch". I mean you know that just sounds so much better, and it goes just so much better. haha
Anyway, I don't mean to make Lindsey feel like shit when I say I wish things were more fun. It just has no other way of coming out. I think the only way to say that nice is to not say it at all.
"We won't be seventeen forever!" GOOD! haha Actually, I miss 17 a little bit. haha Metro Station just decides it wants to play another song. It doesn't want to be shuffled at all. haha Isn't this the next song after Control? *looks* Nope, it's first, so I guess it is shuffled, but still. Come on! haha
Man, songs are making me get off track and not have the will to talk about things anymore. haha Oh well, I love songs that take me to a good point in time. I hope the next song is like that. It will probably give me a memory, but nothing worth talking about. haha
PANIC! AT THE DISCO! Okay, I lied about not having anything to talk about. haha Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off! Love this song! haha I remember when Leslie got this cd. My mom had taken us out and Leslie bought this cd. We played it in the car, and then she let me borrow it for the night so I could copy it for myself. I think it was a couple days before she got it back from me. haha I remember her saying how she bought a cd and I've listened to it more than her. haha It was great. I'm not sure why it took so long for her to get it back from me. haha
AHH! I AM TOTALLY OFF TRACK!! I kicked the cats water dish and it spilled everywhere, and it kind of got on the power strip. It hasn't started a house fire or turn the power off, so that's good. If the power goes out I will cry, because I'm upstairs by myself, and I don't like when it's dark up here. haha
Skeptics and True Believers by The Academy Is... LOVE! <3 It also reminds me of Leslie. Man, all of these songs lead me to her. Way for her to be a big part of my musical endeavors. haha
AHH!! Tearin' Up My Heart by N'sync!!!! This is my jam! haha This also reminds me of Leslie. We used to jam this song all the time! It was a very large part of our Ugly Sweater/ Boy Band party we had! hahaha Good times. lol
I WISH THINGS WERE MORE FUN! I can't say that enough. Leslie being gone didn't turn my life boring. I have fun in my alone time. I find it easier to entertain myself, mostly because I like everything I do. haha I mean HELLO! It is me. haha
Hear Me Out by Silverstein! AHHH! GREAT SONG! haha OH! It doesn't remind me of a time with Leslie! haha All I remember about her and Silverstein is when she told me that she didn't love them as much as I did. She said that about them and Scary Kids Scaring Kids. There was a reason why too, but I can't really remember. I absolutely LOVE SKSK! But them losers aren't a band anymore! BOO!!!
AHAHAHAHA! Jesse McCartney! haha She's No You! haha Love that song! It reminds me of Emily and Leslie. haha Mostly he reminds me of Emily, because she was the reson I even heard of him. haha Leslie, because she kept that cd alive with me. haha We would listen to it on the bus and talk about how it was embarrassing and that we would lie to people about what it was. haha We never had to lie, but I doubt we would lie about it. haha
AHHH! HOTEL CALIFORNIA! LOVE IT! I absolutely ROCK at playing this on Guitar Hero! Expert I can play it on. haha I can't get 100%, but 98 and 99 are pretty damn close scores! haha I just LOVE the Eagles! Me and my mom got to see them in concert! It was great! They are just awesome! haha <3
Man! Songs are soo distracting! haha ANYWAY! I have fun with myself and with my mom. Pretty much my home life is boring, and fun all at the same time. haha I think it only really gets boring when I have no money. I think the whole no fun thing mostly started when me and Lindsey couldn't hang out as much, because she is 2 hours away. We don't really have time to do anything exciting, because she has to do homework, chill with family, and then leave on sunday. She doesn't get too much time to do tons of stuff. I mean we can totally do something fun, but it is hard to what. No one will ever make a decision. I would like to go out, but I never have money, and I don't like using her gas. Then when we are at someones house we don't really have much to do. Oh well. As much as I hate this change, I have to deal with it, until something changes again. Blah!
ENOUGH WITH THAT! I'M GETTING LESS HYPER! KITTENS!!!!! THEY ARE A PAIN IN MY ASSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I swear that if I could I'd take it alllllll, take it all awaaaaay, all the sorrow and the pain" Love SKSK! AHH!!
So, this was by far the worst Halloweens I have ever had. I mean Rhiannon's pad was fun and awesome, but it just didn't feel like Halloween to me. I got dressed up, but it wasn't a costume I had been planning forever because I was excited to wear it. I made the costume up the night before. And I still wasn't sure what I was doing completely. I decided my hair the next day. It just wasn't Halloween to me. I didn't go trick or treating, or carve pumpkins. I didn't even do anything scary. I don't mind the not doing scary things, but I'm slightly disappointed.
Ahhh!! Psycho by System of a Down! This was totally mine and Leslie's jam! We liked to steal peoples mixed cds and find songs. This was one of the awesome ones we found! Love it! "PSYCHO! GROUPIE! COCAINE! CRAZY! psycho groupie cocain crazy, psycho groupie coke, makes you high makes you high makes you really wanna go!" haha LOVE IT!
Man! I totally miss old times! This music totally isn't making it better! haha I don't really want last year back, because I know how it ends. I want it to be like fresh and new like 6th grade was, or fun like the years leading up until the demise of Me and Leslie. I want to discover all this music all over again. I want to spend every nice, or bearable, day outside in the street. I want to spend every cold say in my house, or at a friends house (I suppose with my example it would really be Leslie's house, instead of just any friend's house). I want late night phone conversations. I want sleep overs that end up as unintentional all nighters. I want to be ready for bed, lay down, turn the lights off, and then have the words never stop. I want to be ready for bed and then spring up and make up a new coded language. I just want things to be fun again. I don't mean the 'we have fun here and there' fun. I want like everyday to be a sleep over, or everyday to be something new, something fun. I want to throw band members birthday parties. I want to spend all day watching music videos(which I can't do because they took Fuse away! Bastards at Dish Network!) I want to sit and pick the hottest one in a band. I want to pretend they are chillin' with us and have a whole things with them. I want to write stories or poems for each other. I want to draw pictures, or really receive pictures. I want to sing every word to a song together. I want to reinact a music video, or immitate people for the hell of it. I want to throw random parties that only involve us and are completely stupid. I can't explain it. All that explains it is the fact that I want old times.
My legs are asleep because there is a pile of kittens on them! AHH!! haha I believe I am done. This was going to be a happy happy post, but it was a mix of happy happy and complaints. I don't know if they are complaints. I guess I will leave that up to other people. haha ^_^
Hawthorne Heights = Love!
AHHHHHHHHHH THE USED ARE THE BEST EVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 I can't make those heart signs enough!!!!!! <3