i feel.....
i feel.....
i dont know exactly, i feel as though my world is slowing down, like there is no reason to get up in the morning, nothing exciting is going to happen, no one is going to call and want to talk, no one cares. .....i know most of this isnt true but its how i feel....i feel like i need to do something drastic ...to change and make my life seem more exciting or see it from a different perspective....something needs to happen, like i need to jump.....out the window at the end of the hall.....just to see if it would make things different. ....i know i wont, cause im afraid of heights, but thats how it seems these days, nothing is good enough anymore, there is nothing to do these days, no one has good news, nothing new....just bla, even the weather, its just bla, nothing exciting like the sun or lightning, just bla....i hate bla....
today i went to class ....fell asleep, then walked home, i watched an hour of dawsons creek and then climbed up to my bed and went to sleep for two hours....when i awoke it was about 1 pm....i decided i should go outside, so i packed an apple, breadsticks, a water bottle, my ipod and my book and started walking......i made it to the pond, i ended up sharing my apple with the ducks and giant gold fish that live in the pond.....it was entertaining, when the apple was gone (i mean down to the very last seed) i walked back to the dorm and ended up hoping in my car, sitting there, putting the seat back, pluging my iPod in a reading my book (actually the one rach gave me called Honey, Baby, Sweatheart that i hadnt started yet) well i ended up reading it for the next 4 hours....im on page 215.......its an amazing book....i sat in my car, in the book world, my windows down and light music in the back ground...it was so nice, around 4:30 pm jackie called wondering if i was hungry, so i walked to valley 2 and ate with her....then i went back to the car, grabbed my stuff and went to my dorm and now im here. .....i talked to my mom telling her about how i fell of my bed yesturday and now my back hurts more than usual and my arm has a bruise on it.....and telling her that today i wanted to drive home just because but i didnt and she said i just had to hang in there....once again bla bla bla.....no one calls either.......not that i have anything to talk about or say....well w/e
later