I am done with her
If I had the means to, I would high-tail it out of my house. I am sick and tired of stupid bullshit that occurs in it. I dont know what the hell my moms problem is but I'm at the end of my rope with her-she had the nerve to blame my fiance for my supposed "paranoia of my family"- when in fact she is the reason why I stay away from home.
Just yesterday she was helping me out with my taxes and as soon as I questioned about that $600 dollar tax return and how Matt heard from his Uncle (who does taxes) that he was eligible and I wasnt- it was as if she released the nine gates of hell on my ass. She literally out of the blue started screaming at me and threw my tax papers in my face telling me to f'ing figure it out myself and that she was "done with me". If thats not bizarre enough- she then drew a conclusion that Matt was making me believe that my parents were taking money from me- which he never did in the first place and nor did I think such a thing. Now she wants to ban him from coming into the house even though he did nothing wrong.
After last night I have had enough of her and her psychodrama. I am sick and tired of her becoming furious with me for no good reason and putting me down; sick and tired of her hipocracy; sick and tired of her need to be right all the time-as though everything is black or white;sick and tired of being ostercized for being the oldest and expected to do everything(with what little time I have) while I have a 17 y/o sis who sits around and is only expected to clean a litterbox. Overall I am just plain sick and tired of the person she has become- what happened to the mom she used to be? Its like I dont know her anymore and its gotten worse since my poppa died.
All I know is that I want out. I am never happy when I am home and its as if she wants it that way. She is always finding new excuses to make sure that I am a disappointment in her eyes. I cant keep living like this. I am seeing a shrink (ADD reasons) and he noticed I have low level depression. I told him it was because my grandfather had died. The other reason that I didnt say was more than likely from the shit that my mom does to me.
I am sick and tired of her making me feel like I'm worthless; like I dont deserve friends and how Im fat and ugly compared to her (yeah whatever) and that Matt doesnt deserve someone like me.Ironically she claims to be concerned about my low self esteem and yet she fuels it regularly (hipocracy at its best).
I wish I had wings to fly away.
Just yesterday she was helping me out with my taxes and as soon as I questioned about that $600 dollar tax return and how Matt heard from his Uncle (who does taxes) that he was eligible and I wasnt- it was as if she released the nine gates of hell on my ass. She literally out of the blue started screaming at me and threw my tax papers in my face telling me to f'ing figure it out myself and that she was "done with me". If thats not bizarre enough- she then drew a conclusion that Matt was making me believe that my parents were taking money from me- which he never did in the first place and nor did I think such a thing. Now she wants to ban him from coming into the house even though he did nothing wrong.
After last night I have had enough of her and her psychodrama. I am sick and tired of her becoming furious with me for no good reason and putting me down; sick and tired of her hipocracy; sick and tired of her need to be right all the time-as though everything is black or white;sick and tired of being ostercized for being the oldest and expected to do everything(with what little time I have) while I have a 17 y/o sis who sits around and is only expected to clean a litterbox. Overall I am just plain sick and tired of the person she has become- what happened to the mom she used to be? Its like I dont know her anymore and its gotten worse since my poppa died.
All I know is that I want out. I am never happy when I am home and its as if she wants it that way. She is always finding new excuses to make sure that I am a disappointment in her eyes. I cant keep living like this. I am seeing a shrink (ADD reasons) and he noticed I have low level depression. I told him it was because my grandfather had died. The other reason that I didnt say was more than likely from the shit that my mom does to me.
I am sick and tired of her making me feel like I'm worthless; like I dont deserve friends and how Im fat and ugly compared to her (yeah whatever) and that Matt doesnt deserve someone like me.Ironically she claims to be concerned about my low self esteem and yet she fuels it regularly (hipocracy at its best).
I wish I had wings to fly away.