Broken Clockwork: Chapter 3
Title: Broken Clockwork
Fandom: Infinite
Pairing: MyungGyu (Myungsoo x Sunggyu), OT7
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Romance
Length: Chaptered
Summary: Myungsoo is sick and tired of his continuous and tiring schedules and wishes he no longer needs to deal with the life of an idol. But he realizes a little too late that he should be careful of what he wishes for as he wakes up ten years into the future, and Infinite is no longer together...
Previous Chapters: 1 2
Chapter 3
When Myungsoo wakes up, he hears a loud commotion. He hears Woohyun start laughing like a maniac, and Dongwoo is running around with glee. He rubs his eyes as he walks into Sungyeol in the kitchen.
“What’s going on?”
“Leader made a new twitter! And his username is kyuzizi, so Dongwoo hyung’s super happy.”
Myungsoo grins and runs into Sunggyu’s room. Woohyun is trying to take a photo of Sunggyu for the “proof” that his twitter account is actually his. Howon is in the corner trying to turn his laptop on so he can tweet at the leader. Myungsoo pokes Sunggyu while he tries to upload it up. The leader looks up and grins at Myungsoo, and the smile is almost blinding.
“Ya Kim Myungsoo! I made a new twitter! Write me a message!”
Myungsoo laughs and sticks his tongue out at Sunggyu as he shakes his head. Sunggyu pouts.
“You’re no longer part of Gyu-line then! I refuse to talk to you.” Sunggyu starts to sulk, and even though Myungsoo pokes him repeatedly, he ignores Myungsoo.
“Fine fine Gyu-hyung, I’ll write a message to you!” He takes his phone out and quickly writes a short message.
As Sunggyu receives the notification that he has a new mention, his eyes lighten up and he looks at Myunggyu excitedly. Myungsoo can’t help but hug his hyung.
---
Myungsoo stares at the door in front of him and takes a deep breath. He rings the doorbell and waits patiently, rubbing his sweaty hands on his jeans.
One heartbeat. Two.
The door finally opens, and Myungsoo finds himself standing in front of Sunggyu. Sunggyu sees him and starts to laugh.
“Hi hyung...er, what’s so funny?”
“You’re wearing a plaid shirt.”
Myungsoo frowns in confusion as Sunggyu wipes a tear from his eye. He looks down at his outfit, but he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it - after all, it’s what he’s always worn, and he’s pretty sure Sunggyu has never had such a reaction before. As Sunggyu calms down, he grins at Myungsoo and welcomes him into his apartment.
The walls are covered in photos and posters of musicians. Some are signed, but there are a few that aren’t autographed. As Myungsoo stares at all the walls in amazement, Sunggyu coughs and walks into the kitchen as Myungsoo approaches the last wall. And then he realizes that this is a whole wall dedicated to Infinite. Photos and posters of all seven of them, ranging from predebut to their She’s Back days in Japan are present, as well as photos that Myungsoo doesn’t recognize. There are several photos of him on the wall that he doesn’t remember taking, and he wonders if these are photos from the past 10 years. A photo catches his eye, and he realizes it must have been a very recent photo - all six of them are standing in Sunggyu’s living room and posing happily.
“We took that photo a few months ago.”
Myungsoo studies the older versions of the other members, and unconsciously frowns at the fact that they’ve all met up without him.
“Where was I?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Tell me. I have all the time in the world.”
Sunggyu hands him a cup of coffee, and gestures towards the sofa. Myungsoo sits down and waits for Sunggyu to start his story.
“How much do you actually remember? What’s the last thing you remember?”
“I was really tired in my room. I think I might have yelled at Yeol. And then you came in to tell me to go to practice for a comeback. And I didn’t want to. You kissed me on the forehead and told me I could rest for a while. And then everything else after that is blank.”
Myungsoo bites his lip to stop himself from breaking down again. He needed to know what had happened before he could allow himself to have a panic attack. He watches as Sunggyu takes a deep breath.
“It’s interesting that that’s the last thing you remember…because that’s right before the beginning of the disbandment.”
Myungsoo stares at the cup of coffee in his hands and wills himself to sit there and listen to Sunggyu.
“I came in to wake you up after your nap, but you were up already with red swollen eyes. You looked at me and told me you couldn’t go on as an idol anymore. You couldn’t stand the schedules - all you wanted to do was act. You refused to go to practice even though I begged and pleaded with you. You seemed to want to stand by your decision. The next day, the CEO called us into his office, and you were already there with Hyoan. Apparently you had given Woolim an ultimatum - either they release you from your contract with Infinite and allow you to act, or you were going to leave the company and give Infinite a lot of bad publicity. The CEO wanted to discuss with me whether or not we wanted to keep Infinite as a 6 member group. I said no.”
Sunggyu pauses as some of the words become lodged in his throat. Myungsoo’s head begins to hurt.
“What happened afterwards? Why weren’t we in touch?”
“You…became cold and distant. It was like L, that persona you have on-stage, became you even when the spotlight wasn’t on. The other members were hurt but you hit back at them with cold remarks and indifference…and they resented you for breaking Infinite up. They resented me as well for not wanting to continue without you.”
“Why didn’t you continue without me?”
The question makes Sunggyu freeze for a while. For a second, Myungsoo feels apologetic for making Sunggyu relive the terrible times that he apparently had caused.
“It wouldn’t have been right, wouldn’t have been complete. We started off as seven - it would only be right if we ended it as seven.”
Both of them stay quiet for a while. Myungsoo decides to ask another question that has been bothering them.
“So they hated both of us. What happened then? Why did they start talking to you and not me?”
“Do you think L-sshi would have tried to patch things up with them the way I did?”
Myungsoo flinches at the unfamiliar, bitter tone in Sunggyu’s words. Sunggyu seems to realize how harsh his words sounded and he puts a hand on Myungsoo’s shoulder.
“Look. I understand that you were under a lot of stress with both acting and your career as an idol. You couldn’t accept scripts you wanted to, and when you did, the life as an idol also pushed you to your limits. I had been meaning to ask the CEO to push back our comeback for you, but you had already decided to leave. It’s not your fault Myungsoo. It really isn’t. It took a while for the others to come around to how I think, but by then you were already so cold and indifferent to everything. Some of us sent you text messages and e-mails but we never received any replies. I know you’re hurting right now - but the truth is…you broke our hearts first.”
There is a sad resignation in Sunggyu’s voice, and Myungsoo feels his resolve to not cry break. Tears flow from his face as he grabs the nearest pillow and hugs it tightly to his chest. Sunggyu shuffles over and pulls Myungsoo into his embrace. He pats Myungsoo’s head to comfort him as his brain starts to process all the information that Sunggyu has just given him.
---
“Sunggyu hyung?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I live here with you for a while?”
Myungsoo isn’t sure what had overcome him, but he knows he’d rather stay with Sunggyu than go back to that cold and inhuman apartment of his own.
“Why?”
“I don’t like my apartment. Yours is much nicer. Please?”
Myungsoo tries his best to look like a lost puppy dog, and watches as Sunggyu’s face shows mixed emotions.
“Hyung...please? I’m traumatized by losing ten years of my life - so far the only place where I’ve felt truly comfortable is here. Plus, you’ve stalked me for so long…maybe looking at those photos will help me jog my memory.”
Sunggyu’s sigh lets Myungsoo know he’s won and he throws his arms around Sunggyu. Sunggyu makes a groan of protest at the skinship, but Myungsoo knows that he’s smiling.
---
As Myungsoo rolls around on Sunggyu’s spare bed, he suddenly realizes that he essentially knows next to nothing about Sunggyu’s new life.
“Hey hyung, are you married?”
“Nope.”
“No kids?”
“Nope.”
“Why?”
Sunggyu shrugs.
“I guess I never met anyone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with who reciprocated the feeling. Plus, I…don’t like women. Which I think you know. So that’s why I don’t have kids.”
Myungsoo feels his heart wrench slightly at Sunggyu’s words. Sunggyu had once felt love for someone else, someone who wasn't Myungsoo.
“Well, whoever he is - he’s stupid. You’re awesome. If he broke your heart, then he doesn’t deserve your love.”
Sunggyu looks at Myungsoo with a bittersweet expression, and Myungsoo swears he wants to hunt down whoever broke his hyung’s heart and beat them up.
“Thank you Myungsoo. I’m glad you think so too.”
---
The next few days are spent blissfully. Myungsoo, although still a little worried about the memory loss, starts to think it isn’t so bad if it brought him back to Sunggyu. Although Sunggyu is busy with work and concerts, they spend all their free time together. They watched a few of Myungsoo’s movies - Sunggyu had bought all of them - and it’s fascinating watching himself act when he has no recollection of the lines and the plot.
Sunggyu had laughed at how he knew the story better than Myungsoo himself. Myungsoo wonders how many times Sunggyu has watched his movies to know them so well.
---
When Myungsoo wakes up a week later, he hears a commotion outside of his room. He rubs his eyes sleepily as the voices start to increase in volume, and he wonders if Sunggyu had his band members over. He presses one ear against the door and listens to the conversations outside.
“How could you? After all the shit he put us through?”
The voice sounded familiar, but it took Myungsoo a while to recognize it. Howon’s voice. Myungsoo is about to open the door and greet him when other voices make him freeze.
“Kim Myungsoo was a selfish jerk - yet you let him back into your life once he has a car crash and loses ten years? Sunggyu-hyung, are you sure you’re not the one who lost his memory? Do you not remember the shit that he’s said to us before?”
Woohyun sounds furious and Myungsoo decides not to go out. He wonders what kind of harsh words he’s said before to warrant such a response from the hyungs that used to love him so.
“Woohyun-ah, I know it’s hard to understand. But it’s Myungsoo. He’s back. I can’t just say no to him...”
“So you let him back into your house? Did you let him back into your heart again Kim Sunggyu? Are you fucking crazy?”
“You don’t understand! He was crying, he doesn’t remember anything - and he called me Gyu-hyung. I haven’t heard that from him in ten years…”
“Ya Kim Sunggyu, you need help. Just because he acts like how he did before doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of doing what he did before. Don’t you realize that the five of us just want to make sure that you’re okay? We don’t want what happened ten years ago to happen again!”
“Woohyun, stop. I’m sure Sunggyu-hyung has his reasons.” Dongwoo’s voice cuts through Woohyun’s rant. The affection for Sunggyu in Dongwoo’s voice is evident, and Myungsoo feels a stab of jealousy at the fact that the others have remained so close. But he isn’t allowed to feel jealous - after all, he was the one who abandoned them first.
In many ways, this is his punishment for separating Infinite in the first place.
“Hyung - it’s up to you if you want to keep him here. But I don’t want to see him.” Sungyeol.
“I…miss Myungsoo-hyung, but I don’t think I can forget what he said to me ten years ago that easily.” Maknae Sungjong. Even he didn’t want to see Myungsoo.
“See hyung? None of us want anything to do with L-sshi. Why are you being such an idiot?”
Myungsoo wonders how he could’ve possibly thought that things have been sorted out. Now his mistakes from ten years ago are coming back to haunt him.