first grade reading makes for fun conversations
Last nights msn conversation was very amusing! I thought I’d paste it here! Now you can see my strange sense of humor!I was scanning the reading material for the first graders I work with some of them anyway. And here is the conversation.
Shelly says:
oh god I love first grade readers
pita pit pat I am a cat I can bat
its just so so inspiring
Jess says:
I love it!
Shelly:
its trying to hit something this cat I don’t
know what LOL
Jess says:
lolShelly
says:
well whatever it is the cat cannot hit it
because we read pit a pit pit I had a fit I can not hit
Jess says:
lol
Shelly! says:
pita pit pot a cat cannot hit a lot
poor kitty
Jess says:
goodness...
Shelly! says:
well, guess what that is the end of story one
Jess says:
deep
Shelly says:
well, the next story makes more sense
Kim gets a hat but the hat will not fit it is big Kim is ad
Jess says:
that's good
Shelly says:
I mean sad
she is not ADD
Shelly:
oh isn't this nice Kim's pals will help
Shelly says:
they tell her to get a pin and get it wet But she says she can not
Shelly says:
man! these people and there traumas!
Jess says:
lol
Shelly says:
well the hat does not fit because it is a mans hat
Shelly says:Pam says get a wig Kim.
Shelly says
she gets rid of it and gets a wig
Jess says:
tragedy!
Shelly! says:
in our next story Pam is hot and she can not nap
Jess says:
ahahahaha
Shelly! says:
I think we will talk about what they do to keep cool
Shelly! says:
Pam gets a fan in case you cared
Jess says:
totally
Shelly! says:
totaly what? you cared?
Jess says:
oh yeah...me and pam go way back...
Shelly! says:
well, why didn't you tell her to get a damn fan before they could write a story about it
Jess says:
she has communication problems...and she's prideful
Shelly! says:
well, nan got through to her thank goodness
Jess says:
dang it anyway
Shelly says:
but oh my gosh they are supporting stealing she runs and gets dad's fan
Shelly says:
now we have jealous pets Rags and Jet
Jess says:
jealous is a hard word...
Shelly irritated with libsyn! says:
LOL well in first grade terms
Shelly! says:
Jets is mad Rags is in Kim's lap Jet runs to Kim's lap
Shelly! says:
Rags runs to dots lap Jet runs to Dots lap
Jess says:
dramatic emotional stories...
Shelly says:
but Jet is not a big pet he can not where a hat what
the heck does that have to do with tea in China
Jess says:
random
Shelly! says:
this page actually has a few errors I'll need a sighted person to check but I got the jist of it
Shelly says oh dear
dear!!
:
ms. Hall had 6 cats Huff Puff RuffMuff Buff and Enough!
Shelly! says:
that's a great cat name
Jess says:
ahahaha
: Shelly says: This lady
I lis lady fed her darn cats to much so they didn't fit in the pen
Jess says:
ahahahaha it's too funny to me
Shelly irritated with libsyn! says:
so she's gonna sell them to a dude with a big pen who lives at the red mill inn at the top of the hill
Shelly! says:
what is? Wrong with her! Why doesn’t she buy the bigger pen from the man in the mill at the top of the hill?
Jess says:
good grief
! says:
but she's having all these problems
Shelly says:
first her cats began to fussand tug on the box. I can not lug a box of bad cats up a hill
Jess says:
weenies
Shelly! says:
LOL Jess says:
I think I can I think I can I think I can...squeak squeak squeak
Shelly says: the cats on the bus. Nell Wells gets on the bus with her dog Rags.
Shelly says: I thought Rags belonged to Kim and Dot? Rags better be a guide dog or she’s breaking the law!!
Jess says: LOL
Shelly says:
s is not well, so mom said Bess had to get in to bed
Shelly says:
why is Bess in bed said dad dad Bess is ill said mom
Jess says:
but she's faking it the slacker!
Shelly! says:
Bess is sad it is not fun to take pills
Shelly says:
its better than shots you dork!
Jess says:
she didn't expect her scheme to go this far...
Jess says:
right?
Shelly irritated with libsyn! says:
LOL dad brings Bess a big box is a pup in it? Bess said
Shelly! says:
I can't wait till this page is done scanning
Shelly! says:
I have to know what happens! the suspense!
Jess says:
dun dun dun dun
Shelly irritated with libsyn! says:
oh no! I rescanned the page again!! now I have to wait even longer!
Jess says:
shux
Shelly! says:
that's a good first grade word
Shelly says a? no said dad a pup is fun but it will mess up your bedJess says:
poor kid...she doesn't have a pup and her name is bess on top of it...sad deal
Shelly! says:
I thought Bess was a cows name
Shelly! says:
hop hop hop repeat repeat a hen hops up the hill to get to the top
Shelly! says:
fly dumb ass!!
Jess says:
lol
Shelly! says:
hip hip hip hip a pig went up the hill to get to the top
what kind of sentence is "on the hen the pig fell."
Shelly! says:
oh no! there is a fox on the hill?
Jess says:
It's the kind of sentence I would appreciate as a kid reading out loud in a group by sentence...
Jess says:
chomp chomp...
Shelly irritated with libsyn! says:
lol me too
a man comes and he has a hen, a fox, and a pig? but will he make it to the top?
Shelly says:
no way!! it doesn't tell us
Shelly! says:
now we are on to nan and Ben in the sun!
Jess says:
what kind of literature is this?
Shelly! says:
dang if I weren't blind I could tell you if they made it to the top!
Shelly! says:
I don't know but I'm gonna write me a first grade reading book!
Shelly! says:
and i'm gettin it published
Jess says:
the children can tell you
Shelly! says:
and I'm gonna be rich!!
!Shelly says:
cling clang cling the bell began to ring
Shelly! says:
we want the king but the king is on the swing
Jess says:
ahaha a swinging
king
Shelly! says:
wing a zing a zing why shouldn't I sit and sing on a swing if I am the king?Jess
says:
that is my new favorite quote
Shelly! says:
what is? Jess says:
wing a zing a zing...
Shelly! says:
well, you are the king you must not sing you must not sing ling a ling ling
Shelly! says:
wasn't that the name of one of the Panda's in China?
Jess says:
that is sad
Shelly! says:
what is sad?
Jess says:
that the king shouldn't sing... kings should get to sing
Shelly! says:
and that's the end what the heck does he get to sing or doesn't he?
Shelly! says:
I'm gettin mad at this book!!
Jess says:
me too! RAGE!!!
Shelly! says:
lets go kill the authors
Jess says:
boo hisssss
Shelly! says:
how should we do that?
Shelly! says:
I know we'll sick the 6 cats on them!
Shelly! says:
hey they are promoting ellegal animal capture
Shelly! says:
Ann got a frog as it was hopping on log. She put it in a can
Jess says:
air mail them to the moon...on a swing...while forcing them to sing...to the poor deprived king
Shelly! says:
ROFL
Jess says:
frog prisoner!!!
Shelly! says:
now he isn't with Toad he is so sad
Shelly! says:
Frog and toad are not together poor Frog and toad author what is he gonna do now?
Jess says:
toad is going to bail toad out of can prison
Shelly! says:
what are you bringing in the can asked dad I have a frog said ann its a big jumping frog
Jess says:
toad is going to bail frog out of can prison...oops
Shelly! says:
did Max help you get it? who the heck is Max
Jess says:
frog...in prison...with frog rabies...run away!!!
Shelly! says:
and dad just keeps the cruelty going you must get a box so he can not hop back to the pond
Jess says: Max is
her imaginary friend
Shelly! says:
see I have to re read all this crap
Shelly! says:
I mean excelent children's literature because I have to Braille it
Shelly! says:
I was brailling it as I scanned but it was and is more fun to make fun of it
Jess says:
oh definitely
Shelly! says:
and it needs scanning anyway
but if you don't want to hear about it again you will buy me a braille printer or a braille note
Jess says:
lol...right...
Shelly! says:
or you will convince the donkeys at DSB to buy it for me
Jess says:
hee ha
Shelly! says: LOL
oh come on you've got the cash!
Shelly! says:
you can send it on an ass in a box
Shelly! says:
wait we can't use that word in a first grade reading book never mind
Shelly! says:
you can send it on a fox in a box
Shelly! says:
I will not eat green eggs and ham!
Jess says:
lol
Shelly! says:
its a really a good thing I have therapy thursday!!
Shelly! says:
oh thank goodness!!
Shelly! says:
Ann left the box on the rug and went to bed.
cling clang bang
Shelly! says:
ok must insertsinging my friend the witch doctor he told me what to say
Jess says:
uh oh
Shelly! says:
anyway, back to the story
Shelly! says:
zing zap pop the lid popped off the frog hopped he is on the rug!
Shelly! says:
thank God! he's free!
Shelly! says:
free at last! free at last! thank God almighty! he's free at last!
Shelly! says:
oh no!!! oh no!! Ann catches him in her net and dad puts him back in the box
Shelly! says:
I can't take it anymore.
cruelty!!
Shelly! says:
I'm going to stop scanning. the amount of brailling I have to do is getting overwhelming! Its roughly 30 print pages with around ten sentences per page. Wanna Braille for me.
Jess says:
that makes sense
Shelly! says:
I'm gonna have nightmares about frogs
Shelly! says:
in all seriousness I love what I do.
Jess says:
I know you do
Shelly! says:
I really like working with first grade because they make so much progress and they are still so excited and wanting to learn and I love guiding that process!
Shelly says:
oh god I love first grade readers
pita pit pat I am a cat I can bat
its just so so inspiring
Jess says:
I love it!
Shelly:
its trying to hit something this cat I don’t
know what LOL
Jess says:
lolShelly
says:
well whatever it is the cat cannot hit it
because we read pit a pit pit I had a fit I can not hit
Jess says:
lol
Shelly! says:
pita pit pot a cat cannot hit a lot
poor kitty
Jess says:
goodness...
Shelly! says:
well, guess what that is the end of story one
Jess says:
deep
Shelly says:
well, the next story makes more sense
Kim gets a hat but the hat will not fit it is big Kim is ad
Jess says:
that's good
Shelly says:
I mean sad
she is not ADD
Shelly:
oh isn't this nice Kim's pals will help
Shelly says:
they tell her to get a pin and get it wet But she says she can not
Shelly says:
man! these people and there traumas!
Jess says:
lol
Shelly says:
well the hat does not fit because it is a mans hat
Shelly says:Pam says get a wig Kim.
Shelly says
she gets rid of it and gets a wig
Jess says:
tragedy!
Shelly! says:
in our next story Pam is hot and she can not nap
Jess says:
ahahahaha
Shelly! says:
I think we will talk about what they do to keep cool
Shelly! says:
Pam gets a fan in case you cared
Jess says:
totally
Shelly! says:
totaly what? you cared?
Jess says:
oh yeah...me and pam go way back...
Shelly! says:
well, why didn't you tell her to get a damn fan before they could write a story about it
Jess says:
she has communication problems...and she's prideful
Shelly! says:
well, nan got through to her thank goodness
Jess says:
dang it anyway
Shelly says:
but oh my gosh they are supporting stealing she runs and gets dad's fan
Shelly says:
now we have jealous pets Rags and Jet
Jess says:
jealous is a hard word...
Shelly irritated with libsyn! says:
LOL well in first grade terms
Shelly! says:
Jets is mad Rags is in Kim's lap Jet runs to Kim's lap
Shelly! says:
Rags runs to dots lap Jet runs to Dots lap
Jess says:
dramatic emotional stories...
Shelly says:
but Jet is not a big pet he can not where a hat what
the heck does that have to do with tea in China
Jess says:
random
Shelly! says:
this page actually has a few errors I'll need a sighted person to check but I got the jist of it
Shelly says oh dear
dear!!
:
ms. Hall had 6 cats Huff Puff RuffMuff Buff and Enough!
Shelly! says:
that's a great cat name
Jess says:
ahahaha
: Shelly says: This lady
I lis lady fed her darn cats to much so they didn't fit in the pen
Jess says:
ahahahaha it's too funny to me
Shelly irritated with libsyn! says:
so she's gonna sell them to a dude with a big pen who lives at the red mill inn at the top of the hill
Shelly! says:
what is? Wrong with her! Why doesn’t she buy the bigger pen from the man in the mill at the top of the hill?
Jess says:
good grief
! says:
but she's having all these problems
Shelly says:
first her cats began to fussand tug on the box. I can not lug a box of bad cats up a hill
Jess says:
weenies
Shelly! says:
LOL Jess says:
I think I can I think I can I think I can...squeak squeak squeak
Shelly says: the cats on the bus. Nell Wells gets on the bus with her dog Rags.
Shelly says: I thought Rags belonged to Kim and Dot? Rags better be a guide dog or she’s breaking the law!!
Jess says: LOL
Shelly says:
s is not well, so mom said Bess had to get in to bed
Shelly says:
why is Bess in bed said dad dad Bess is ill said mom
Jess says:
but she's faking it the slacker!
Shelly! says:
Bess is sad it is not fun to take pills
Shelly says:
its better than shots you dork!
Jess says:
she didn't expect her scheme to go this far...
Jess says:
right?
Shelly irritated with libsyn! says:
LOL dad brings Bess a big box is a pup in it? Bess said
Shelly! says:
I can't wait till this page is done scanning
Shelly! says:
I have to know what happens! the suspense!
Jess says:
dun dun dun dun
Shelly irritated with libsyn! says:
oh no! I rescanned the page again!! now I have to wait even longer!
Jess says:
shux
Shelly! says:
that's a good first grade word
Shelly says a? no said dad a pup is fun but it will mess up your bedJess says:
poor kid...she doesn't have a pup and her name is bess on top of it...sad deal
Shelly! says:
I thought Bess was a cows name
Shelly! says:
hop hop hop repeat repeat a hen hops up the hill to get to the top
Shelly! says:
fly dumb ass!!
Jess says:
lol
Shelly! says:
hip hip hip hip a pig went up the hill to get to the top
what kind of sentence is "on the hen the pig fell."
Shelly! says:
oh no! there is a fox on the hill?
Jess says:
It's the kind of sentence I would appreciate as a kid reading out loud in a group by sentence...
Jess says:
chomp chomp...
Shelly irritated with libsyn! says:
lol me too
a man comes and he has a hen, a fox, and a pig? but will he make it to the top?
Shelly says:
no way!! it doesn't tell us
Shelly! says:
now we are on to nan and Ben in the sun!
Jess says:
what kind of literature is this?
Shelly! says:
dang if I weren't blind I could tell you if they made it to the top!
Shelly! says:
I don't know but I'm gonna write me a first grade reading book!
Shelly! says:
and i'm gettin it published
Jess says:
the children can tell you
Shelly! says:
and I'm gonna be rich!!
!Shelly says:
cling clang cling the bell began to ring
Shelly! says:
we want the king but the king is on the swing
Jess says:
ahaha a swinging
king
Shelly! says:
wing a zing a zing why shouldn't I sit and sing on a swing if I am the king?Jess
says:
that is my new favorite quote
Shelly! says:
what is? Jess says:
wing a zing a zing...
Shelly! says:
well, you are the king you must not sing you must not sing ling a ling ling
Shelly! says:
wasn't that the name of one of the Panda's in China?
Jess says:
that is sad
Shelly! says:
what is sad?
Jess says:
that the king shouldn't sing... kings should get to sing
Shelly! says:
and that's the end what the heck does he get to sing or doesn't he?
Shelly! says:
I'm gettin mad at this book!!
Jess says:
me too! RAGE!!!
Shelly! says:
lets go kill the authors
Jess says:
boo hisssss
Shelly! says:
how should we do that?
Shelly! says:
I know we'll sick the 6 cats on them!
Shelly! says:
hey they are promoting ellegal animal capture
Shelly! says:
Ann got a frog as it was hopping on log. She put it in a can
Jess says:
air mail them to the moon...on a swing...while forcing them to sing...to the poor deprived king
Shelly! says:
ROFL
Jess says:
frog prisoner!!!
Shelly! says:
now he isn't with Toad he is so sad
Shelly! says:
Frog and toad are not together poor Frog and toad author what is he gonna do now?
Jess says:
toad is going to bail toad out of can prison
Shelly! says:
what are you bringing in the can asked dad I have a frog said ann its a big jumping frog
Jess says:
toad is going to bail frog out of can prison...oops
Shelly! says:
did Max help you get it? who the heck is Max
Jess says:
frog...in prison...with frog rabies...run away!!!
Shelly! says:
and dad just keeps the cruelty going you must get a box so he can not hop back to the pond
Jess says: Max is
her imaginary friend
Shelly! says:
see I have to re read all this crap
Shelly! says:
I mean excelent children's literature because I have to Braille it
Shelly! says:
I was brailling it as I scanned but it was and is more fun to make fun of it
Jess says:
oh definitely
Shelly! says:
and it needs scanning anyway
but if you don't want to hear about it again you will buy me a braille printer or a braille note
Jess says:
lol...right...
Shelly! says:
or you will convince the donkeys at DSB to buy it for me
Jess says:
hee ha
Shelly! says: LOL
oh come on you've got the cash!
Shelly! says:
you can send it on an ass in a box
Shelly! says:
wait we can't use that word in a first grade reading book never mind
Shelly! says:
you can send it on a fox in a box
Shelly! says:
I will not eat green eggs and ham!
Jess says:
lol
Shelly! says:
its a really a good thing I have therapy thursday!!
Shelly! says:
oh thank goodness!!
Shelly! says:
Ann left the box on the rug and went to bed.
cling clang bang
Shelly! says:
ok must insertsinging my friend the witch doctor he told me what to say
Jess says:
uh oh
Shelly! says:
anyway, back to the story
Shelly! says:
zing zap pop the lid popped off the frog hopped he is on the rug!
Shelly! says:
thank God! he's free!
Shelly! says:
free at last! free at last! thank God almighty! he's free at last!
Shelly! says:
oh no!!! oh no!! Ann catches him in her net and dad puts him back in the box
Shelly! says:
I can't take it anymore.
cruelty!!
Shelly! says:
I'm going to stop scanning. the amount of brailling I have to do is getting overwhelming! Its roughly 30 print pages with around ten sentences per page. Wanna Braille for me.
Jess says:
that makes sense
Shelly! says:
I'm gonna have nightmares about frogs
Shelly! says:
in all seriousness I love what I do.
Jess says:
I know you do
Shelly! says:
I really like working with first grade because they make so much progress and they are still so excited and wanting to learn and I love guiding that process!