being towards the moment
'She stood precariously on the hill, looking at the crumbling cottage covered in ivy. It was a soft gray; the walls were made of stone, & it was a sight of decadent decay. It was clear that it was once magnificent, & still was, but the grass was a little long & the mortar a little chalky.'
1. there was a snowstorm at the beginning of april, a foot or so. i went to the ardmore tea room for cheeseburgers & coke floats & then we walked down to the northwest arm. he told me that with my hair matted down to my head with clumpy wet snow i looked like a superhero, slick & poised to take down & take over. there was no distinction between the ground, the air, the water & the horizon - everything was distorted & milky. we rubbed our faces together.
2. i had such a great birthday-day. it consisted of: ginger tea at the one world, walking around the whole city, new thrift stores, a do-it-yourself herb garden, loving puppies, epic picnics in point pleasant park, spooning & napping by the water, lemon birthday cake, drinks at the henry house, & then a kingsy party. my birthday party was great, too. only 5 of us made it to the casino where people bought me pirate's gold drinks & i won four bucks at the slots & then we were kicked out, for being far too drunk & taking pictures.
3. a while ago, my former crush & i drank half a bottle of wine in our underwear, lit candles & watched them melt, spilling onto the oak table. he dropped the record needle right in the middle of "suzanne" & we read t.s. eliot to each other, tangling our legs together & then retangling. our limbs spilled out of the ground, out of the bed, & onto the balcony, unusually warm for an early spring night. we blew bubbles to each other & the shiny, slimy film of bubble skin exploded with the dripping candle light. former because it fizzled in the feeling of emptiness & ephemerality. an appreciated transition.
4. i am so comfortably excited about life right now. comfortable because things seem to be moving smoothly towards something really good. i am excited for school to be over (my last exam is monday) & my dad is coming on wednesday for the day (he just decided spontaneously) & i have a list in my head of exciting things to do with my free time. the monotony of gray & rain & drizzle was finally cracked with a beaufiful day of sun yesterday & it is supposed to last until may. i forget how mundane & mediocre things feel in the gray until it is golden again.
'It was hard for the sun to set because of the glow it left, permeated into asphalt & summer skin, but Bermuda had to leave the prince & his castle & the raving garden & the secret hilltop in Belgravia.'