(no subject)
ugh I feel so fucking discouraged right now.
ALL of this work and effort that I have been putting out is leading me no where.
in crew, school and socially it just sucks.
UGAH FUCK IT.
a couple of things... this school year I have pretty much been fucked... getting mono... just set me back and there is allllllways something ELSE that I have to do.
in crew... putting it plainly I need to lose 20 pounds to be "in a competitive shape" for rowing.
fucking can't lose the weight. 20 lbs.... at 3500 cal per pound thats.... 70,000 calories.
in theory if I cut 500 cal/day I'd be set... but apparently its not that simple...
now I work out everyday... the last week I've run like 24 miles total... and lifted weights everyother day and done physical therapy AND erged. and I feel the fucking same.
I've changed my diet so that I am eating foods that are good for the "athlete"
I FUCKING WISH THAT I COULD STOP BUT I CAN'T I JUST KNOW THAT I CAN'T. and yet I don't feel like I'm going anywhere anyways.
ALL of this work and effort that I have been putting out is leading me no where.
in crew, school and socially it just sucks.
UGAH FUCK IT.
a couple of things... this school year I have pretty much been fucked... getting mono... just set me back and there is allllllways something ELSE that I have to do.
in crew... putting it plainly I need to lose 20 pounds to be "in a competitive shape" for rowing.
fucking can't lose the weight. 20 lbs.... at 3500 cal per pound thats.... 70,000 calories.
in theory if I cut 500 cal/day I'd be set... but apparently its not that simple...
now I work out everyday... the last week I've run like 24 miles total... and lifted weights everyother day and done physical therapy AND erged. and I feel the fucking same.
I've changed my diet so that I am eating foods that are good for the "athlete"
I FUCKING WISH THAT I COULD STOP BUT I CAN'T I JUST KNOW THAT I CAN'T. and yet I don't feel like I'm going anywhere anyways.