Organized Chaos (Twenty-Five)
Title: Organized Chaos
Author: Sunny
Pairing: Jack Barakat/ OC
Rating: NC-17
Summary: “Yes. You're scared. And, I mean, you should be. I'm telling you that I'm going to be forcing you to face your fears. And that's fucking scary. But what I'm also saying is that I'm going to help you through it. So it's going to be fucking scary, but I'm going to be right there with you helping you through it...okay?” Jack felt calm and relaxed. He regularly felt that way around Wyatt, especially in the wee hours of the morning. “So?” Jack asked. “You up for it?”
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Sunny and I do own all members of Hyperinflated Illuminations. Thank you.
Warnings: Obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorders, alcoholism
http://turnthepageover.livejournal.com/57389.html
Sex. It was something Wyatt knew he would have to think about eventually, but he had been avoiding it. The entire idea of it freaked him out. Not only did he have no idea how sex worked between two men, but all he could think about were the germs. He sort of figured it involved touching and kissing. Touching involved fingers that collected germs. Kissing involved germs. Everything having to do with sex involved germs. He didn't even know how many millions of germs were in sperm, but he could bet it was a lot.
So, while everyone else was asleep on the bus that night as they drove to another city, Wyatt sat awake, having a minor panic attack about sex.
He needed to know everything. Internet on. Google up. Cue entering in the most obvious, scary and awkward sentences into the search engine. “How do two boys have sex?”
He was terrified. Wouldn't that hurt? What was lube even made out of? Was it vegan friendly? Shouldn't they get tested before having sex? What was the point of condoms? Would he bleed? Would he be top or bottom? Why did people do this? This was too much pressure. He was well on his way to hyperventilating when the bus pulled to a stop, parked, and Jim waved at him as he went back to his bunk to sleep.
Once Jim was out of the way, Wyatt shut off the laptop and hurled himself outside into the cool night air. They were at their next destination. He used to know what it was and how many days they were staying, but now all he knew was that sex was the scariest thing in the entire world. Why was he gay again? Being straight seemed so much easier.
He was freaking out. Walking around randomly and tugging at his hair. He couldn't do this. He couldn't even imagine doing it. Jack was going to hate him. He was going to beak up with him. He was going to break his heart. Sex was everything in a relationship. You needed sex to have a successful relationship. He didn't know why. He'd be happy being a virgin his entire life. It's not like he could procreate with Jack anyways. Out of anyone, Jack would be the only person he'd want to procreate with. Well, if Vina needed a sperm donation, he might consider it.
This was all too much. He jumped into the relationship too soon. He shouldn't have agreed to a date with Jack in the first place. He shouldn't have agreed to dating. Damn that boy and his stupid drunk singing of a love song. Damn him. Damn him for wanting sex. Damn the world for sex in general. They should all have been test tube babies.
He was going to throw up. He could feel it with his growing hysteria. He leaned his head against the closest bus, felt the cool metal against his face, and then threw up. The bile rose from his throat and spewed out onto the ground in the ugly, undertones of the food he had eaten.
The sight, the smell and the thought of the germs being so close to him almost had him retching again.
He stumbled back into a different bus, then fell to the ground and let the tears fall down his face. Horrible, terrified sobs. He couldn't lose Jack. He just couldn't.
“What's that noise? Who's attacking our bus?” Jack turned just as Alex stumbled out of the bus. He almost bolted when his body just gave up and let hims lump against the bus again.
Alex stumbled over to the boy, drunk. Wyatt had just enough time to register his distain for the inebriated state before Alex sat himself down beside him.
“Wyatt, what's up, man?” he man asked the younger boy, lurching forward and hugging the boy.
“N-nothing...” Wyatt sniffled out, scrambling to get away from the touchy singer and hating himself for letting his voice show his tears.
“Whoa, are you crying?” Alex pulled back, hands on either shoulder and trying to look at Wyatt in the dark of night. “You okay? Should I get Jack? Where's Jack? JACK!” The sound of the young singer's teary voice almost sobered Alex-almost.
“No! No...don't get him,” Wyatt insisted, glancing frantically around to make sure Jack didn't turn up out of nowhere.
“Why not? Did Jack make you cry? I'll kick his ass! Where is he?!” Alex started to stand, teetering precariously before Wyatt pulled him back down. The ground was safe. Alex touching was freaking him out. He needed to say something for the other boy to leave him alone.
“No. Not exactly.”
“Well, what do you mean? Want to talk? Snuggle? Arrange this deck of cards in numerical order?” Alex tried.
Wyatt let out a shaky laugh. “No.” He was surprised at the coherency of Alex's drunken words. He probably wouldn't even remember the encounter in the morning.
“Tell me!” Alex whined, leaning into Jack and sniffing at the boy's clean hair. “What's wrong? I promise I won't tell Jack.”
“I'm just...scared.”
“Of what?” Alex questioned, sitting up and looking around, presumably for something scary. “Outside? Alone at night? Bears? Tigers? Heights? Heights can be fucking scary, man.”
“No.” There was a pause. “Sex.”
Alex glanced at the boy. “...what?”
Wyatt took a deep breath, wiping at his tear stained face. “Sex. I'm scared of sex.”
“Sex? How the hell did your boyfriends live with that?” Alex asked.
“I've never had another boyfriend,” Wyatt supplied.
“Oh...are you a virgin?” A snicker almost left Alex's lips. Almost. He scooted closer to the young singer. His skin was soft, and smelt nice and he always looked good. Even at four in the morning, Wyatt had on an immaculate pair of dress pants and a nicely fitted dress shirt. Blouse. Whatever people called them. He should wear a tie.
“Yes. And Jack wants sex. And I didn't know...and I looked it up...and....and...” the tears burst out once again.
“Holy shit!” Alex backed up, awkwardly moving to pat Wyatt's shoulder when the younger boy flinched back. Alex reminded himself that touching was a big “no” for Wyatt. “Uhh, there really isn't much to be scared of...” Alex spoke up, trying to sober up and help the crying boy. His words didn't help. Wyatt continued to cry.
“He's going to break up with me.”
“Uhh, no. No he's not. He's all for helping you. He knows how messed up you are-no offence. If you just talk to him, maybe he can explain it in a less scary way than the Internet? does What part of sex, exactly, are you scared of?” Alex questioned.
“Germs. Pain. Germs. I won't like it...” Wyatt paused.
Alex's face softened as he leaned closer to the young boy. He took a drink of the beer he suddenly remembered was in his hand. Wyatt was going to be fine. He knew just what to say; “Don't worry,” he giggled. “Jack's a gentle lover.” He leaned his head against Wyatt's shoulder, ignoring when the boy flinched and then again, after several moments, relaxed against the feeling of the older singer's head on his shoulder.
They were silent for several moments as Wyatt let the sniffles leave his body and his heartbeat slow down. Alex was right. Jack would help him, as long as Wyatt was open to trying.
“Hey, Alex?” Wyatt questioned. “How do you know Jack's a gentle lover?”
The only response was Alex's gentle snore.
Author: Sunny
Pairing: Jack Barakat/ OC
Rating: NC-17
Summary: “Yes. You're scared. And, I mean, you should be. I'm telling you that I'm going to be forcing you to face your fears. And that's fucking scary. But what I'm also saying is that I'm going to help you through it. So it's going to be fucking scary, but I'm going to be right there with you helping you through it...okay?” Jack felt calm and relaxed. He regularly felt that way around Wyatt, especially in the wee hours of the morning. “So?” Jack asked. “You up for it?”
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Sunny and I do own all members of Hyperinflated Illuminations. Thank you.
Warnings: Obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorders, alcoholism
http://turnthepageover.livejournal.com/57389.html
Sex. It was something Wyatt knew he would have to think about eventually, but he had been avoiding it. The entire idea of it freaked him out. Not only did he have no idea how sex worked between two men, but all he could think about were the germs. He sort of figured it involved touching and kissing. Touching involved fingers that collected germs. Kissing involved germs. Everything having to do with sex involved germs. He didn't even know how many millions of germs were in sperm, but he could bet it was a lot.
So, while everyone else was asleep on the bus that night as they drove to another city, Wyatt sat awake, having a minor panic attack about sex.
He needed to know everything. Internet on. Google up. Cue entering in the most obvious, scary and awkward sentences into the search engine. “How do two boys have sex?”
He was terrified. Wouldn't that hurt? What was lube even made out of? Was it vegan friendly? Shouldn't they get tested before having sex? What was the point of condoms? Would he bleed? Would he be top or bottom? Why did people do this? This was too much pressure. He was well on his way to hyperventilating when the bus pulled to a stop, parked, and Jim waved at him as he went back to his bunk to sleep.
Once Jim was out of the way, Wyatt shut off the laptop and hurled himself outside into the cool night air. They were at their next destination. He used to know what it was and how many days they were staying, but now all he knew was that sex was the scariest thing in the entire world. Why was he gay again? Being straight seemed so much easier.
He was freaking out. Walking around randomly and tugging at his hair. He couldn't do this. He couldn't even imagine doing it. Jack was going to hate him. He was going to beak up with him. He was going to break his heart. Sex was everything in a relationship. You needed sex to have a successful relationship. He didn't know why. He'd be happy being a virgin his entire life. It's not like he could procreate with Jack anyways. Out of anyone, Jack would be the only person he'd want to procreate with. Well, if Vina needed a sperm donation, he might consider it.
This was all too much. He jumped into the relationship too soon. He shouldn't have agreed to a date with Jack in the first place. He shouldn't have agreed to dating. Damn that boy and his stupid drunk singing of a love song. Damn him. Damn him for wanting sex. Damn the world for sex in general. They should all have been test tube babies.
He was going to throw up. He could feel it with his growing hysteria. He leaned his head against the closest bus, felt the cool metal against his face, and then threw up. The bile rose from his throat and spewed out onto the ground in the ugly, undertones of the food he had eaten.
The sight, the smell and the thought of the germs being so close to him almost had him retching again.
He stumbled back into a different bus, then fell to the ground and let the tears fall down his face. Horrible, terrified sobs. He couldn't lose Jack. He just couldn't.
“What's that noise? Who's attacking our bus?” Jack turned just as Alex stumbled out of the bus. He almost bolted when his body just gave up and let hims lump against the bus again.
Alex stumbled over to the boy, drunk. Wyatt had just enough time to register his distain for the inebriated state before Alex sat himself down beside him.
“Wyatt, what's up, man?” he man asked the younger boy, lurching forward and hugging the boy.
“N-nothing...” Wyatt sniffled out, scrambling to get away from the touchy singer and hating himself for letting his voice show his tears.
“Whoa, are you crying?” Alex pulled back, hands on either shoulder and trying to look at Wyatt in the dark of night. “You okay? Should I get Jack? Where's Jack? JACK!” The sound of the young singer's teary voice almost sobered Alex-almost.
“No! No...don't get him,” Wyatt insisted, glancing frantically around to make sure Jack didn't turn up out of nowhere.
“Why not? Did Jack make you cry? I'll kick his ass! Where is he?!” Alex started to stand, teetering precariously before Wyatt pulled him back down. The ground was safe. Alex touching was freaking him out. He needed to say something for the other boy to leave him alone.
“No. Not exactly.”
“Well, what do you mean? Want to talk? Snuggle? Arrange this deck of cards in numerical order?” Alex tried.
Wyatt let out a shaky laugh. “No.” He was surprised at the coherency of Alex's drunken words. He probably wouldn't even remember the encounter in the morning.
“Tell me!” Alex whined, leaning into Jack and sniffing at the boy's clean hair. “What's wrong? I promise I won't tell Jack.”
“I'm just...scared.”
“Of what?” Alex questioned, sitting up and looking around, presumably for something scary. “Outside? Alone at night? Bears? Tigers? Heights? Heights can be fucking scary, man.”
“No.” There was a pause. “Sex.”
Alex glanced at the boy. “...what?”
Wyatt took a deep breath, wiping at his tear stained face. “Sex. I'm scared of sex.”
“Sex? How the hell did your boyfriends live with that?” Alex asked.
“I've never had another boyfriend,” Wyatt supplied.
“Oh...are you a virgin?” A snicker almost left Alex's lips. Almost. He scooted closer to the young singer. His skin was soft, and smelt nice and he always looked good. Even at four in the morning, Wyatt had on an immaculate pair of dress pants and a nicely fitted dress shirt. Blouse. Whatever people called them. He should wear a tie.
“Yes. And Jack wants sex. And I didn't know...and I looked it up...and....and...” the tears burst out once again.
“Holy shit!” Alex backed up, awkwardly moving to pat Wyatt's shoulder when the younger boy flinched back. Alex reminded himself that touching was a big “no” for Wyatt. “Uhh, there really isn't much to be scared of...” Alex spoke up, trying to sober up and help the crying boy. His words didn't help. Wyatt continued to cry.
“He's going to break up with me.”
“Uhh, no. No he's not. He's all for helping you. He knows how messed up you are-no offence. If you just talk to him, maybe he can explain it in a less scary way than the Internet? does What part of sex, exactly, are you scared of?” Alex questioned.
“Germs. Pain. Germs. I won't like it...” Wyatt paused.
Alex's face softened as he leaned closer to the young boy. He took a drink of the beer he suddenly remembered was in his hand. Wyatt was going to be fine. He knew just what to say; “Don't worry,” he giggled. “Jack's a gentle lover.” He leaned his head against Wyatt's shoulder, ignoring when the boy flinched and then again, after several moments, relaxed against the feeling of the older singer's head on his shoulder.
They were silent for several moments as Wyatt let the sniffles leave his body and his heartbeat slow down. Alex was right. Jack would help him, as long as Wyatt was open to trying.
“Hey, Alex?” Wyatt questioned. “How do you know Jack's a gentle lover?”
The only response was Alex's gentle snore.