I Don't Care If It Hurts (Four)
Title: I Don't Care If It Hurts
Authors:
turnthepageover
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Alex was tired of his life. He tried to end it, but he failed.
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Amen.
http://turnthepageover.livejournal.com/62463.html
Alex walked slowly through the doors of the hospital ward, glancing around at the white walls. He didn’t want to be here. His mom and the doctors had forced him to come here.
The day before he had woken up in the hospital room, machines beeping and body aching. His mother had cried when she realized he was alright, hugging him painfully tight and blubbering about how happy she was that he was okay and how it was all her fault. The nurses and doctors came in next, checking on him. The main doctor had convinced his mother that two weeks in the hospital’s psychiatric ward would be best for Alex. He said they wanted to make sure the teenager wasn’t a danger to himself. His mother had, of course, agreed thoroughly, willing to try anything to make her baby boy better.
He followed the nurse down the hallway, looking around. Random people were walking down the hallways, either staring blatantly at him or avoiding his gaze. He heard some people muttering to no one in particular, probably even himself, and he cringed. He didn’t belong here.
The nurse stopped abruptly at one door, almost causing Alex to slam into her. She turned the door handle, pushing the door open and walking inside.
“Hello, Jack,” she said politely, and Alex entered the room, standing at the door and looking around. He saw a boy, who he assumed was Jack, laying on one of the twin beds in the room. The boy looked to be about Alex’s age, skinny and lanky with black and blonde hair splaying out in a sexy, bed-head sort of fashion. Jack didn’t answer the nurse, just looked up at the ceiling above him. “Group therapy was scheduled for eleven, Jack. Why didn’t you go?”
“Because, like I told that piece of shit doctor, I don’t see how spilling my guts to a room of strangers who just sit there and cry about everything in their life is really going to help me,” Jack responded, rolling his eyes.
“I don’t think that’s true, Jack,” she told him, but then turned to look at Alex. “But I guess it’s good that you’re here. You can meet your new roommate.”
Jack didn’t turn to acknowledge him, but Alex could see the way his nose turned up at the mention of a roommate.
“You’re going to just keep trying to push companionship on me, huh? I don’t want a fucking roommate. I’m quite happy on my own,” Jack answered and Alex cringed.
“His name is Alex,” the nurse continued on, ignoring Jack.
“I don’t care,” he answered, and Alex bit his lip, looking down at the ground. He looked down at the bandages covering his arms, one hand moving to play with the edge of the white gauze.
“He’s the same age as you,” the nurse continued on, “I’m sure you two will get along just fine.”
“Yeah, because I got along with all the kids in my grade just fine, right?” Jack said with a snort.
“Maybe you will find something you have in common,” the nurse said, ushering Alex to move towards the bed as she walked to the door.
“Yes, I’m sure we’ll have thrilling conversations about self-mutilation and wanting to die,” Jack said enthusiastically, and I could almost see the nurse roll her eyes.
“Alright, Alex, I’ll leave you to get settled in. Jack will help you find your way around and fill you in on how things work around here,” she said, shooting a look at the teenager on the other bed before she exited the room.
Alex sat on the bed, biting his thumb nail and looking around the bare walls of the room. The room was small and uninviting, and it made him miss his room that much more. Maybe that was what this whole experience was for, to make him realize his life wasn’t as shitty as he thought it was.
He sighed to himself, glancing down at the floor before he heard the bed opposite his creak. He looked up at his new roommate, who had focused his gaze back on the ceiling.
He had a really cute face, with big brown eyes and a too big nose and kissable lips. Alex let his eyes roam down his body, taking in his long, lanky limbs.
“Stop staring at me,” the boy snapped, eyes turning to glare at Alex. “It’s creepy.”
Alex looked straight into his eyes, unable to shake the feeling that he had seen this boy somewhere before.
“Did you fucking hear me?!” Jack demanded. “What the fuck? Did they give me a fucking retard for a roommate? Do you speak English?”
“S-sorry,” Alex stuttered, looking down at the floor. He ran his fingers over the bandaging again, mentally cursing himself. He had just moved in and his roommate already hated him. This was going to be a long week.
“Wait, I know you,” Jack said, and Alex looked at him hopefully, but the look of disgust hadn’t left his face.
“H-how?” Alex answered, and Jack rolled his eyes.
“I go to Dulaney, dip shit,” he answered and Alex nodded. “Not that you or any of your jock friends care about me. Unless it’s to play shove around the fag.”
He sneered and Alex cringed, shaking his head.
“I wouldn’t do that,” he answered and Jack rolled his eyes.
“Right,” the tall boy answered, stretching out his long legs on the bed. “What the fuck are you doing here anyway? I thought your life was supposed to be perfect.”
“It’s not,” Alex answered, looking down at his wrists.
“Or are you trying to make slicing up your wrists a new fad?”
“No,” Alex answered, feeling the tears threaten his eyes. “A-and my life is nowhere near perfect.”
“Whatever,” Jack said, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure you have no real reason to be here. What, did you finally find out your perfect little cheerleader girlfriend was cheating on you?”
“And what’s your wonderful fucking reason for being here?!” Alex demanded, suddenly feeling the anger bubbling up inside of him.
“I got tired of getting the shit kicked out of me night and day, at home and at school!” Jack started, raising one if his fingers and then another. “I got sick of being a punching bag because of my sexual preferences or how I dress or the way I wear my hair. I hated that every friend I had left me because they were so afraid I was going to rape them in their sleep or something. I got sick of not being good enough. Of not being the perfect athlete like my brother, or a fucking scholar like my sister. Of being compared to my siblings and everyone fucking else! So I think I had a pretty good fucking reason for doing what I did. What’s your excuse, pretty boy?”
Alex looked down at the floor, feeling his problems weren’t so big next to Jack’s. He actually felt a little pathetic comparing his petty problems to the other boy’s.
“That’s what I thought,” Jack said, sitting up. He grabbed a pair of beat up Chuck Taylor’s from the foot of his bed, shoving his feet inside of them and sending a glare towards Alex. “It’s lunchtime, by the way. I would suggest you get down there.”
“But I’m not hungry,” Alex responded, chewing on his lip. Between his argument with Jack and the pills they had given him this morning, he had no appetite.
“Oh well. Go eat or they’ll mark you down as anorexic next,” Jack said, rolling his eyes as he adjusted his shoelace and left the room. Alex got off the bed quickly, following the other male down the hallway. He had no idea where he was going, and the nurse had told Jack to help him out, although that didn’t seem like a very solid plan so far.
Alex followed Jack into the cafeteria, which was really just a large room with tables lined up. He watched Jack sit down at a table by himself and he bit his lip again, rocking on his heels as he looked around for somewhere to sit. No one looked inviting at all, and he finally gave up, walking the short distance and taking the seat across from Jack.
“What are you doing?” Jack questioned, looking up at him. “There’s plenty of other seats for you to sit at. Just because they stuck us in a room together doesn’t mean we have to eat together.”
“I-I don’t know anyone else here,” Alex said quietly, scratching the back of his neck.
“Neither do I, and I’m perfectly happy with that. Now leave,” Jack told him, glaring.
Alex bit his lip again, hurt by the boy’s irrational distaste for him.
“I won’t talk,” he told Jack, frowning. “I’ll be quiet, I promise.”
Jack glared at him for a minute before rolling his eyes.
“Whatever,” he answered, looking down at the food being set in front of him. He scrunched up his nose, picking his fork up and stirring the food.
Alex looked down at his own plate in almost the same manner. It looked good, just simple chicken and veggies, but he had no desire to eat it. His appetite was completely gone.
Alex cut a piece of chicken, popping it into his mouth and chewing it slowly. He looked around the room, seeing it was mostly full of teenagers. He figured they were sorted into facilities by ages, which would explain why everyone seemed to be between the ages of thirteen and eighteen. He wanted so badly to ask Jack about the place, but he knew he had promised not to talk. And even though Jack was the biggest asshole he’d ever met so far, he felt a sort of companionship with him.
He let his eyes fall on Jack again, watching him pick a plastic knife up in his long fingers. Alex was well aware of the nurses scrutinizing all of them, watching every movie they made. They must have been expecting someone to try to stab himself with a plastic fork or knife. Jack spread butter onto a roll, bringing it up to his lips and taking a bite. Alex watched as his pink tongue poked out, licking away butter that had been left on Jack’s lips.
“You have a staring problem,” Jack said, rolling his eyes at the way Alex jumped as he spoke.
“S-sorry,” Alex stuttered, dropping his eyes down and looking into his plate of food.
Jack didn’t answer, just continued to eat his food.
Alex stared down, feeling the cuts below his bandages begin to itch.
♠ ♠ ♠
So here's Jack.
He's kind of a jerk right now, haha.
Authors:
turnthepageover
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Alex was tired of his life. He tried to end it, but he failed.
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Amen.
http://turnthepageover.livejournal.com/62463.html
Alex walked slowly through the doors of the hospital ward, glancing around at the white walls. He didn’t want to be here. His mom and the doctors had forced him to come here.
The day before he had woken up in the hospital room, machines beeping and body aching. His mother had cried when she realized he was alright, hugging him painfully tight and blubbering about how happy she was that he was okay and how it was all her fault. The nurses and doctors came in next, checking on him. The main doctor had convinced his mother that two weeks in the hospital’s psychiatric ward would be best for Alex. He said they wanted to make sure the teenager wasn’t a danger to himself. His mother had, of course, agreed thoroughly, willing to try anything to make her baby boy better.
He followed the nurse down the hallway, looking around. Random people were walking down the hallways, either staring blatantly at him or avoiding his gaze. He heard some people muttering to no one in particular, probably even himself, and he cringed. He didn’t belong here.
The nurse stopped abruptly at one door, almost causing Alex to slam into her. She turned the door handle, pushing the door open and walking inside.
“Hello, Jack,” she said politely, and Alex entered the room, standing at the door and looking around. He saw a boy, who he assumed was Jack, laying on one of the twin beds in the room. The boy looked to be about Alex’s age, skinny and lanky with black and blonde hair splaying out in a sexy, bed-head sort of fashion. Jack didn’t answer the nurse, just looked up at the ceiling above him. “Group therapy was scheduled for eleven, Jack. Why didn’t you go?”
“Because, like I told that piece of shit doctor, I don’t see how spilling my guts to a room of strangers who just sit there and cry about everything in their life is really going to help me,” Jack responded, rolling his eyes.
“I don’t think that’s true, Jack,” she told him, but then turned to look at Alex. “But I guess it’s good that you’re here. You can meet your new roommate.”
Jack didn’t turn to acknowledge him, but Alex could see the way his nose turned up at the mention of a roommate.
“You’re going to just keep trying to push companionship on me, huh? I don’t want a fucking roommate. I’m quite happy on my own,” Jack answered and Alex cringed.
“His name is Alex,” the nurse continued on, ignoring Jack.
“I don’t care,” he answered, and Alex bit his lip, looking down at the ground. He looked down at the bandages covering his arms, one hand moving to play with the edge of the white gauze.
“He’s the same age as you,” the nurse continued on, “I’m sure you two will get along just fine.”
“Yeah, because I got along with all the kids in my grade just fine, right?” Jack said with a snort.
“Maybe you will find something you have in common,” the nurse said, ushering Alex to move towards the bed as she walked to the door.
“Yes, I’m sure we’ll have thrilling conversations about self-mutilation and wanting to die,” Jack said enthusiastically, and I could almost see the nurse roll her eyes.
“Alright, Alex, I’ll leave you to get settled in. Jack will help you find your way around and fill you in on how things work around here,” she said, shooting a look at the teenager on the other bed before she exited the room.
Alex sat on the bed, biting his thumb nail and looking around the bare walls of the room. The room was small and uninviting, and it made him miss his room that much more. Maybe that was what this whole experience was for, to make him realize his life wasn’t as shitty as he thought it was.
He sighed to himself, glancing down at the floor before he heard the bed opposite his creak. He looked up at his new roommate, who had focused his gaze back on the ceiling.
He had a really cute face, with big brown eyes and a too big nose and kissable lips. Alex let his eyes roam down his body, taking in his long, lanky limbs.
“Stop staring at me,” the boy snapped, eyes turning to glare at Alex. “It’s creepy.”
Alex looked straight into his eyes, unable to shake the feeling that he had seen this boy somewhere before.
“Did you fucking hear me?!” Jack demanded. “What the fuck? Did they give me a fucking retard for a roommate? Do you speak English?”
“S-sorry,” Alex stuttered, looking down at the floor. He ran his fingers over the bandaging again, mentally cursing himself. He had just moved in and his roommate already hated him. This was going to be a long week.
“Wait, I know you,” Jack said, and Alex looked at him hopefully, but the look of disgust hadn’t left his face.
“H-how?” Alex answered, and Jack rolled his eyes.
“I go to Dulaney, dip shit,” he answered and Alex nodded. “Not that you or any of your jock friends care about me. Unless it’s to play shove around the fag.”
He sneered and Alex cringed, shaking his head.
“I wouldn’t do that,” he answered and Jack rolled his eyes.
“Right,” the tall boy answered, stretching out his long legs on the bed. “What the fuck are you doing here anyway? I thought your life was supposed to be perfect.”
“It’s not,” Alex answered, looking down at his wrists.
“Or are you trying to make slicing up your wrists a new fad?”
“No,” Alex answered, feeling the tears threaten his eyes. “A-and my life is nowhere near perfect.”
“Whatever,” Jack said, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure you have no real reason to be here. What, did you finally find out your perfect little cheerleader girlfriend was cheating on you?”
“And what’s your wonderful fucking reason for being here?!” Alex demanded, suddenly feeling the anger bubbling up inside of him.
“I got tired of getting the shit kicked out of me night and day, at home and at school!” Jack started, raising one if his fingers and then another. “I got sick of being a punching bag because of my sexual preferences or how I dress or the way I wear my hair. I hated that every friend I had left me because they were so afraid I was going to rape them in their sleep or something. I got sick of not being good enough. Of not being the perfect athlete like my brother, or a fucking scholar like my sister. Of being compared to my siblings and everyone fucking else! So I think I had a pretty good fucking reason for doing what I did. What’s your excuse, pretty boy?”
Alex looked down at the floor, feeling his problems weren’t so big next to Jack’s. He actually felt a little pathetic comparing his petty problems to the other boy’s.
“That’s what I thought,” Jack said, sitting up. He grabbed a pair of beat up Chuck Taylor’s from the foot of his bed, shoving his feet inside of them and sending a glare towards Alex. “It’s lunchtime, by the way. I would suggest you get down there.”
“But I’m not hungry,” Alex responded, chewing on his lip. Between his argument with Jack and the pills they had given him this morning, he had no appetite.
“Oh well. Go eat or they’ll mark you down as anorexic next,” Jack said, rolling his eyes as he adjusted his shoelace and left the room. Alex got off the bed quickly, following the other male down the hallway. He had no idea where he was going, and the nurse had told Jack to help him out, although that didn’t seem like a very solid plan so far.
Alex followed Jack into the cafeteria, which was really just a large room with tables lined up. He watched Jack sit down at a table by himself and he bit his lip again, rocking on his heels as he looked around for somewhere to sit. No one looked inviting at all, and he finally gave up, walking the short distance and taking the seat across from Jack.
“What are you doing?” Jack questioned, looking up at him. “There’s plenty of other seats for you to sit at. Just because they stuck us in a room together doesn’t mean we have to eat together.”
“I-I don’t know anyone else here,” Alex said quietly, scratching the back of his neck.
“Neither do I, and I’m perfectly happy with that. Now leave,” Jack told him, glaring.
Alex bit his lip again, hurt by the boy’s irrational distaste for him.
“I won’t talk,” he told Jack, frowning. “I’ll be quiet, I promise.”
Jack glared at him for a minute before rolling his eyes.
“Whatever,” he answered, looking down at the food being set in front of him. He scrunched up his nose, picking his fork up and stirring the food.
Alex looked down at his own plate in almost the same manner. It looked good, just simple chicken and veggies, but he had no desire to eat it. His appetite was completely gone.
Alex cut a piece of chicken, popping it into his mouth and chewing it slowly. He looked around the room, seeing it was mostly full of teenagers. He figured they were sorted into facilities by ages, which would explain why everyone seemed to be between the ages of thirteen and eighteen. He wanted so badly to ask Jack about the place, but he knew he had promised not to talk. And even though Jack was the biggest asshole he’d ever met so far, he felt a sort of companionship with him.
He let his eyes fall on Jack again, watching him pick a plastic knife up in his long fingers. Alex was well aware of the nurses scrutinizing all of them, watching every movie they made. They must have been expecting someone to try to stab himself with a plastic fork or knife. Jack spread butter onto a roll, bringing it up to his lips and taking a bite. Alex watched as his pink tongue poked out, licking away butter that had been left on Jack’s lips.
“You have a staring problem,” Jack said, rolling his eyes at the way Alex jumped as he spoke.
“S-sorry,” Alex stuttered, dropping his eyes down and looking into his plate of food.
Jack didn’t answer, just continued to eat his food.
Alex stared down, feeling the cuts below his bandages begin to itch.
♠ ♠ ♠
So here's Jack.
He's kind of a jerk right now, haha.