four packs a day. four decades straight. right to an unmarked grave.

[turnthecrank]

for the past few days I've been in this "I'm a fucking joke and I hate myself" mood and I just can't seem to shake it. the weather isn't making it any better and I've just been mopey and a homebody and just lame. Its not helping that I am actually starting to fall in like with a boy who is a. no good for me, b. he's an asshole, c. he's ridiculously good looking and therefore has girls on his jock like all the time, and d. he's totally out of my league. Normally I'd get the fuck over it and go get with some other dude or fuck it all together but this is just odd. I don't even know why I like homeboy but whatever. perhaps I'll talk some sense into this kid (and myself) that I've been semi seeing for a bit and we can be official~ and I'll stop being whiny.

this weekend might bring me out of my shitty mood but idk. I'm supposed to be going to June's final show but I doubt I'll go mainly because the lineup isn't tickling my fancy and I really don't know if I'll be able to deal with the people there, plus I never really liked June. I kinda just found myself listening to them/seeing them because they always played with TJV and other bands I was into a the moment. its their final show so I might drag myself out instead of going to work.

dudes I'm so ready to throw down $190 for Lolla but I don't know if I want to rn because thats a huge dent in my tattoo fun. the lineup is fucking ridiculous though and I do not want to miss out on that shit.