fic - i backward cast my e'e part 26 [novella]
Title: I Backward Cast My E'e
Part: 26
I Backward Cast My E'e
sequel-lite to for promis'd joy
Part 26
He had opened the drawer next to Heero's bed to find himself a spare hair tie when his eyes fell upon the new-ish items that now resided within. He barely even realized he had been staring down at them for a lot longer than really necessary when Heero's arms slipped around him from behind.
"What's up?" Heero asked, his chin finding a comfortable resting spot on Duo's shoulder.
Duo fingered the tube of lube with a small chuckle. "I can't believe you actually went out and bought this stuff."
"Well, someone had to." Heero refrained from confessing that it was only at Trowa's insistence. He waited for Duo to make some sort of reply, but when the silence stretched on a bit pensively, he poked cautiously at it. "I... I didn't pressure you into anything... did I, Duo?"
Duo blinked himself into a startled, nervous little laugh. "Of course not, Heero. God, if anyone was doing anything pressuring, it was probably me, what with--" He cut himself off abruptly, the recollection of what delightful pressure was going on that night bringing a rush of heat to his cheeks. He tried to smother it with another nervous laugh. "No way, Heero. Of course you didn't."
Heero mulled over the undertones for a few seconds before pressing a soft kiss to Duo's neck. "You just seemed... I dunno, did I surprise you or something?"
"Heh, yeah! I didn't expect-- Well, of course, we were totally heading in that direction, so it's not like a surprise like that, but..." Duo paused for some strategic regrouping, then took a deep breath before proceeding. "It's more like... That was a big fat line drawn in the sand, yanno? Once you cross that line, you can't uncross it. It's... That's it. Right?"
"Do you wish--"
"No." He immediately squeezed one of the arms around his waist in reassurance. "You know me. Just 'cuz I'm kinda... uh... not totally... um..."
"...Able to find the right words?"
The tension broke with a snicker and he turned around in the embrace to face the man waiting patiently for those right words. One good look at that concerned expression had him putting off those words in favor of reaching up and hauling Heero even closer for a deep and lingering kiss. When he broke it off, he firmly reprimanded himself for diving right back in for a second one, and managed to wrestle himself back to a decent distance. His mouth broke the rules a third time, and then a fourth, but at least the kisses got shorter and shorter each time and finally he decided he had better just blurt out whatever it was in his mind to say while he had a chance to say it. "Look, you and me both know I've got some mental roadblocks, and sometimes, sometimes I gotta rev myself up for getting over them, build up some momentum first, yeah? So... the other night... it wasn't me... not wanting to cross that big fat line with you. It was me just going, 'Whoa, that's a big fat line right there in front of us. We're all onboard with this, yeah?' And oh yeah..." He rewarded himself with another scorcher of a kiss for managing to get all that out. "Oh yeeeeah.... I so wanna get onboard you..."
Heero's ability to hear Duo's words may have been hampered by his own heavy breathing and Duo's near moaning, but he was pretty sure he heard what he thought he heard. "Was that a Freudian slip, or...?"
Duo laughed giddily, even as he lifted a leg and wrapped it around Heero, punctuating the action with a light thrust of his hips. "Onboard... with you? Onboard you? Whatever. I want it all. I want everything. With you."
A small shiver danced up Heero's spine. "Me, too."
"Yeah." He couldn't help himself from kissing that soft smile on Heero's lips, and then slowly slid his leg back down like that could somehow drag the whole thing out. "And you? Was that a mental roadblock I saw sneaking in there, or were you just being... first-time-y?"
Heero snorted. "A little of both?"
"Maybe I should have let you have the easy job of it first, but god, I don't know if I'd have actually been able to get the job done if I'd..." Wait, his mind protested, that wasn't a manly thing to admit at all! He rephrased to soothe his ego. "I mean, things would have gotten done, sure, no problem, just... maybe not the way I wanted them to."
Heero averted his eyes politely to chuckle, a sound which only got stronger as his visual focus fell open the box of condoms in the still-open drawer beside them. "Maybe next time, we should try using one of those, yeah?"
Duo followed his gaze down to the item in question. "Maybe next time, we should open the box ahead of time so we don't fumble it during." They'd managed to tear the little tab-flap on one side of the opening, but the other had resisted their clumsy efforts until they'd dropped the darn thing and then quickly forgotten about it.
"Maybe next time, you can be the one who has to stand in the store, trying to figure out what size is the right size."
"Heh, maybe next time, if we actually managed to get one on, it shouldn't be too hard to figure out, yeah? Though I don't know if I should be offended that you didn't get extra-large or something."
"Why would you be offended? I was the one who should have been wearing it."
"But I don't think you knew that when you bought them, did you? Besides, who's to say you'd be the one to wear it every time, huh?"
"I'd much rather deal with the embarrassment of not being extra-large, when compared to the embarrassment of trying to fish that thing out of where the sun don't shine."
Duo shuddered at the thought. "Eww, gross."
He made a faintly amused sound. "I'm glad we didn't have this awkward morning-after conversation on the actual morning-after."
Duo joined him in his amusement. "Kind of a buzz-kill, huh? Procrastination for the win. Heh, I wanted to say something afterward, but I just couldn't think of anything that wasn't completely cliché, so... I figured I let you know how much I enjoyed myself anyway, without having to say so afterward."
"You did. That's probably what got me through it."
"Yeah, I wasn't really thinking all that much by that point, but I do remember thinking I didn't want to be one of those neighbors, yanno? Those damn annoying-- wait, what do you mean, got you through it? I, uh, wasn't the only one enjoying myself, was I?"
"Of course not. I wouldn't have been able to 'get the job done' if I hadn't enjoyed myself." He shrugged a little awkwardly. "I'll get used to it."
"Whoa, hey, get used to what? Was I... too loud? Not loud enough? What?"
"You were fine, Duo." Heero rolled his eyes before realizing that probably wasn't the best of answers. "You were... better than fine. I was not referring to your volume in the slightest. Please continue to do whatever comes naturally to you."
"Then just what do you have to get 'used to'?"
Heero avoided eye contact for a few seconds before manning up with an indirect answer. "You have your mental roadblocks, I have mine. You know that."
Duo peered analytically at him for a few seconds before he smirked. "You probably thought the whole thing was pretty embarrassing, didn't you? Not me, but you."
"'Embarrassing' is not quite the word I would use," Heero mumbled.
Duo kissed the adorable half-pout. "Would it make you feel more or less funny if I praised your performance?"
Heero looked uncomfortable just contemplating it.
"Heh. Okay." He was a little embarrassed over his petty relief that Heero's embarrassment seemed greater than his own embarrassment over his little hiccup of hesitance, so he gave Heero another small kiss in silent, unexplained apology. "Well, you 'got over' all the stuff that led up to this point, so you'll 'get over' this, too, yeah?"
"I guess."
"Well, for me, I'll enjoy helping you 'get over' it, if you don't mind."
"Please do. It... helps." Duo cocked a querying look at him, which Heero answered with another self-conscious squirm. "It... helps. To know you're enjoying yourself. That what I'm doing... you like it. If I focus on you, I don't think so hard about me."
Duo grinned hard before something occurred to him and it faltered for a moment. His expression solidified into an encouraging smile. "Hey, no way in hell I'm complaining about a lover who's concentrating hard on pleasing me, but I don't get off on just taking and taking and not giving anything back, you know?"
Heero closed his eyes as he pressed their foreheads together. "I know. I'll do my best."
"Hey, don't put all that pressure on yourself, man." Duo gave him the mildest of headbutts in reprimand, touching a finger to Heero's cheek to soften even that. "Just... do whatever comes naturally to you, and it'll all work out, yeah? We'll find our balance in the end. Okay?"
Heero looked him in the eye solemnly before nodding, the smallest of smiles hovering on the corners of his mouth. "Okay."
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Part: 26
I Backward Cast My E'e
sequel-lite to for promis'd joy
Part 26
He had opened the drawer next to Heero's bed to find himself a spare hair tie when his eyes fell upon the new-ish items that now resided within. He barely even realized he had been staring down at them for a lot longer than really necessary when Heero's arms slipped around him from behind.
"What's up?" Heero asked, his chin finding a comfortable resting spot on Duo's shoulder.
Duo fingered the tube of lube with a small chuckle. "I can't believe you actually went out and bought this stuff."
"Well, someone had to." Heero refrained from confessing that it was only at Trowa's insistence. He waited for Duo to make some sort of reply, but when the silence stretched on a bit pensively, he poked cautiously at it. "I... I didn't pressure you into anything... did I, Duo?"
Duo blinked himself into a startled, nervous little laugh. "Of course not, Heero. God, if anyone was doing anything pressuring, it was probably me, what with--" He cut himself off abruptly, the recollection of what delightful pressure was going on that night bringing a rush of heat to his cheeks. He tried to smother it with another nervous laugh. "No way, Heero. Of course you didn't."
Heero mulled over the undertones for a few seconds before pressing a soft kiss to Duo's neck. "You just seemed... I dunno, did I surprise you or something?"
"Heh, yeah! I didn't expect-- Well, of course, we were totally heading in that direction, so it's not like a surprise like that, but..." Duo paused for some strategic regrouping, then took a deep breath before proceeding. "It's more like... That was a big fat line drawn in the sand, yanno? Once you cross that line, you can't uncross it. It's... That's it. Right?"
"Do you wish--"
"No." He immediately squeezed one of the arms around his waist in reassurance. "You know me. Just 'cuz I'm kinda... uh... not totally... um..."
"...Able to find the right words?"
The tension broke with a snicker and he turned around in the embrace to face the man waiting patiently for those right words. One good look at that concerned expression had him putting off those words in favor of reaching up and hauling Heero even closer for a deep and lingering kiss. When he broke it off, he firmly reprimanded himself for diving right back in for a second one, and managed to wrestle himself back to a decent distance. His mouth broke the rules a third time, and then a fourth, but at least the kisses got shorter and shorter each time and finally he decided he had better just blurt out whatever it was in his mind to say while he had a chance to say it. "Look, you and me both know I've got some mental roadblocks, and sometimes, sometimes I gotta rev myself up for getting over them, build up some momentum first, yeah? So... the other night... it wasn't me... not wanting to cross that big fat line with you. It was me just going, 'Whoa, that's a big fat line right there in front of us. We're all onboard with this, yeah?' And oh yeah..." He rewarded himself with another scorcher of a kiss for managing to get all that out. "Oh yeeeeah.... I so wanna get onboard you..."
Heero's ability to hear Duo's words may have been hampered by his own heavy breathing and Duo's near moaning, but he was pretty sure he heard what he thought he heard. "Was that a Freudian slip, or...?"
Duo laughed giddily, even as he lifted a leg and wrapped it around Heero, punctuating the action with a light thrust of his hips. "Onboard... with you? Onboard you? Whatever. I want it all. I want everything. With you."
A small shiver danced up Heero's spine. "Me, too."
"Yeah." He couldn't help himself from kissing that soft smile on Heero's lips, and then slowly slid his leg back down like that could somehow drag the whole thing out. "And you? Was that a mental roadblock I saw sneaking in there, or were you just being... first-time-y?"
Heero snorted. "A little of both?"
"Maybe I should have let you have the easy job of it first, but god, I don't know if I'd have actually been able to get the job done if I'd..." Wait, his mind protested, that wasn't a manly thing to admit at all! He rephrased to soothe his ego. "I mean, things would have gotten done, sure, no problem, just... maybe not the way I wanted them to."
Heero averted his eyes politely to chuckle, a sound which only got stronger as his visual focus fell open the box of condoms in the still-open drawer beside them. "Maybe next time, we should try using one of those, yeah?"
Duo followed his gaze down to the item in question. "Maybe next time, we should open the box ahead of time so we don't fumble it during." They'd managed to tear the little tab-flap on one side of the opening, but the other had resisted their clumsy efforts until they'd dropped the darn thing and then quickly forgotten about it.
"Maybe next time, you can be the one who has to stand in the store, trying to figure out what size is the right size."
"Heh, maybe next time, if we actually managed to get one on, it shouldn't be too hard to figure out, yeah? Though I don't know if I should be offended that you didn't get extra-large or something."
"Why would you be offended? I was the one who should have been wearing it."
"But I don't think you knew that when you bought them, did you? Besides, who's to say you'd be the one to wear it every time, huh?"
"I'd much rather deal with the embarrassment of not being extra-large, when compared to the embarrassment of trying to fish that thing out of where the sun don't shine."
Duo shuddered at the thought. "Eww, gross."
He made a faintly amused sound. "I'm glad we didn't have this awkward morning-after conversation on the actual morning-after."
Duo joined him in his amusement. "Kind of a buzz-kill, huh? Procrastination for the win. Heh, I wanted to say something afterward, but I just couldn't think of anything that wasn't completely cliché, so... I figured I let you know how much I enjoyed myself anyway, without having to say so afterward."
"You did. That's probably what got me through it."
"Yeah, I wasn't really thinking all that much by that point, but I do remember thinking I didn't want to be one of those neighbors, yanno? Those damn annoying-- wait, what do you mean, got you through it? I, uh, wasn't the only one enjoying myself, was I?"
"Of course not. I wouldn't have been able to 'get the job done' if I hadn't enjoyed myself." He shrugged a little awkwardly. "I'll get used to it."
"Whoa, hey, get used to what? Was I... too loud? Not loud enough? What?"
"You were fine, Duo." Heero rolled his eyes before realizing that probably wasn't the best of answers. "You were... better than fine. I was not referring to your volume in the slightest. Please continue to do whatever comes naturally to you."
"Then just what do you have to get 'used to'?"
Heero avoided eye contact for a few seconds before manning up with an indirect answer. "You have your mental roadblocks, I have mine. You know that."
Duo peered analytically at him for a few seconds before he smirked. "You probably thought the whole thing was pretty embarrassing, didn't you? Not me, but you."
"'Embarrassing' is not quite the word I would use," Heero mumbled.
Duo kissed the adorable half-pout. "Would it make you feel more or less funny if I praised your performance?"
Heero looked uncomfortable just contemplating it.
"Heh. Okay." He was a little embarrassed over his petty relief that Heero's embarrassment seemed greater than his own embarrassment over his little hiccup of hesitance, so he gave Heero another small kiss in silent, unexplained apology. "Well, you 'got over' all the stuff that led up to this point, so you'll 'get over' this, too, yeah?"
"I guess."
"Well, for me, I'll enjoy helping you 'get over' it, if you don't mind."
"Please do. It... helps." Duo cocked a querying look at him, which Heero answered with another self-conscious squirm. "It... helps. To know you're enjoying yourself. That what I'm doing... you like it. If I focus on you, I don't think so hard about me."
Duo grinned hard before something occurred to him and it faltered for a moment. His expression solidified into an encouraging smile. "Hey, no way in hell I'm complaining about a lover who's concentrating hard on pleasing me, but I don't get off on just taking and taking and not giving anything back, you know?"
Heero closed his eyes as he pressed their foreheads together. "I know. I'll do my best."
"Hey, don't put all that pressure on yourself, man." Duo gave him the mildest of headbutts in reprimand, touching a finger to Heero's cheek to soften even that. "Just... do whatever comes naturally to you, and it'll all work out, yeah? We'll find our balance in the end. Okay?"
Heero looked him in the eye solemnly before nodding, the smallest of smiles hovering on the corners of his mouth. "Okay."
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