(no subject)
how strange it is feels to be so content back home. the anxiety that once writhed in me here seems to have dissipated into another lifetime when i was a porous, breakable stone instead of smooth, more forgiving wood. its almost as if i'd like to stay here for awhile, postpone school another year and help my family, be the big sister, stay out of trouble. save money, travel a bit and get it out of my system for awhile. my year in missoula was full of its ups and downs, but it never felt like home as i thought it would, as i wanted it to. i still believe its a great place but maybe its not for me right now? maybe i should move on or stay here and go back later? i don't know, i just have 0 desire to go back to school right now and there isn't anything i miss in particular in missoula. but its only been a week and all of past events are still fresh in my memory. april was a challenging month full of decisions and things i thought i would never have to deal with. things you always hear about but you never really think they will happen to you.
after making a certain life-altering decision, i went camping to get away and clear my head, only to be stranded in a national park with a broken down buick in the off-season. when the ordeal was over i thought that was it and i could start moving forward back in missoula. when i got home, i found my roommate had committed suicide in her room, later that week, i got fired from my job.
after making a certain life-altering decision, i went camping to get away and clear my head, only to be stranded in a national park with a broken down buick in the off-season. when the ordeal was over i thought that was it and i could start moving forward back in missoula. when i got home, i found my roommate had committed suicide in her room, later that week, i got fired from my job.