CHCHCHCHANGES
Well things are still kinda messy but not as much.
I'm slowly VERY slowly getting over everything. I think soon as Lauren moves out and gets her own place and is finally away from me things will get better. I dont know what she plans to do with her life, but she knows that I will always be only a phone call away no matter where in the world I am. I will never be able to take back all the mean and hurtful things I said to her. I can and WILL always regret what i said I dont know what got into me jealousy mostly and stupidity. As time goes on I can hopefully get over her and we can cleanse all the bad blood between us that I caused. Its ALWAYS gonna be hard to get over her especially when she's seeing other guys. Just so everyone knows I lost her a long time ago due to my own actions. She cant be blamed for any of this that I brought upon myself. I will always Love her. I'm changing not for her but for myself. I cant live my life the way I have been, if I continue the lifestyle that I have been living I will die alone. That is something I do not want at all.
I will say that I am blessed to have such great friends that have been there for me in my time of need. And am cursed to forever know that I lost the best thing in my life.
I'm slowly VERY slowly getting over everything. I think soon as Lauren moves out and gets her own place and is finally away from me things will get better. I dont know what she plans to do with her life, but she knows that I will always be only a phone call away no matter where in the world I am. I will never be able to take back all the mean and hurtful things I said to her. I can and WILL always regret what i said I dont know what got into me jealousy mostly and stupidity. As time goes on I can hopefully get over her and we can cleanse all the bad blood between us that I caused. Its ALWAYS gonna be hard to get over her especially when she's seeing other guys. Just so everyone knows I lost her a long time ago due to my own actions. She cant be blamed for any of this that I brought upon myself. I will always Love her. I'm changing not for her but for myself. I cant live my life the way I have been, if I continue the lifestyle that I have been living I will die alone. That is something I do not want at all.
I will say that I am blessed to have such great friends that have been there for me in my time of need. And am cursed to forever know that I lost the best thing in my life.