my heart is not a bank statement
im going to a debt consolidator and getting a second job. its time to be a grown up. that whole "captain pretend its not happening" thing is getting old. i am in over $6500 dollars worth of debt, not including the $700.00 i owe to jea and the pending lawsuit for mastercard. (the mastercard balance is included in the $6500, but the court costs are not). i also owe a payday loan place about $400.00 with interest and penalties. along with my other monthly bills like rent, car and insurance. it gets overwhelming sometimes. but this is life. and this is something i have brought upon myself. so now its time to pick up the pieces and pay off my debt.
im also going to get in shape. and get back to school. im tired of being a piece of shit and every time i open up a new chapter in my life, i say its going to be for the better, and then just stay at this plateau. not this time. i have a beautiful place to live. i have a potentially great guy in my life that may be coming around, and i have a job that can offer me a lot of opportunities.
i miss eric. dearly. i dreampt he, twig and i were all getting in my car to go to the supermarket, and woke up very sad. i miss those boys. i miss the fun we had. now one is a few hours away with a new family, and the other is minutes away but unreachable.
sad. but. another reason i have to move on.
in with the outro and out with the old.
im also going to get in shape. and get back to school. im tired of being a piece of shit and every time i open up a new chapter in my life, i say its going to be for the better, and then just stay at this plateau. not this time. i have a beautiful place to live. i have a potentially great guy in my life that may be coming around, and i have a job that can offer me a lot of opportunities.
i miss eric. dearly. i dreampt he, twig and i were all getting in my car to go to the supermarket, and woke up very sad. i miss those boys. i miss the fun we had. now one is a few hours away with a new family, and the other is minutes away but unreachable.
sad. but. another reason i have to move on.
in with the outro and out with the old.