(no subject)
have you ever considered?
+++EDITORIAL+++
Something weird is going down in the nation’s supermarkets. It was Wednesday
lunchtime and I was busy stocking up on fresh frozen pizzas in Somerfield. I
didn’t notice it at first, but Atari Teenage Riot’s ‘Destroy 2000 Years
Of Culture’ had come over the PA system. It was only when I heard the
screamed lyrics that I paused for thought: “We’re gonna take over! / Our
chances are low - too many problems we got! / Fuck the police! Blow them
out!”
What the blazes? I mopped my brow. There was only one possible explanation:
some dope smoking monkey had been trusted with the keys to the office. I
calculated that the manager of the store would be hearing this at the same time
as me, and any second now we’d be hearing the sound of a door being kicked
in- a wrestling match - and the final, triumphant resumption of Jamie
Callum. Yet strangely when the song ended, Sonic Youth’s ‘Death Valley
69’ faded in…
Now, a man could go insane thinking of the meaning of this. But maybe it’s
not as obscure as it seems: after all, Morrisons utilise James Blunt to
motivate mindless zombies into their stores - perhaps Somerfields are simply
going for the dope fiends. Who knows? Who even cares? All that concerns me now
is getting hold of that mixtape to sell on the black market. Elephant tusks and
Pygmy bones are about to go outta fashion…
Ric Rawlins
+++EDITORIAL+++
Something weird is going down in the nation’s supermarkets. It was Wednesday
lunchtime and I was busy stocking up on fresh frozen pizzas in Somerfield. I
didn’t notice it at first, but Atari Teenage Riot’s ‘Destroy 2000 Years
Of Culture’ had come over the PA system. It was only when I heard the
screamed lyrics that I paused for thought: “We’re gonna take over! / Our
chances are low - too many problems we got! / Fuck the police! Blow them
out!”
What the blazes? I mopped my brow. There was only one possible explanation:
some dope smoking monkey had been trusted with the keys to the office. I
calculated that the manager of the store would be hearing this at the same time
as me, and any second now we’d be hearing the sound of a door being kicked
in- a wrestling match - and the final, triumphant resumption of Jamie
Callum. Yet strangely when the song ended, Sonic Youth’s ‘Death Valley
69’ faded in…
Now, a man could go insane thinking of the meaning of this. But maybe it’s
not as obscure as it seems: after all, Morrisons utilise James Blunt to
motivate mindless zombies into their stores - perhaps Somerfields are simply
going for the dope fiends. Who knows? Who even cares? All that concerns me now
is getting hold of that mixtape to sell on the black market. Elephant tusks and
Pygmy bones are about to go outta fashion…
Ric Rawlins