(no subject)
I've had enough of feeling bad now. Had an amazing weekend with David and Colin. Oli's housewarming was well good, even though I left my hat there. The food was (perhaps) surprisingly sophisticated. Expensive garlic bread and such. We brought antipasti.
Everyone said that going to London would be a silly idea, and they were WRONG. I had a moment of irrational, transcendent clarity on the coach home, David asleep next to me, thinking about the future and listening to 'i i e e e' (Tori Amos is INCREDIBLE - why did I take this long to realise?). We had lots of chats while we were there, about why it happened and what it means and where we go and I feel loads better about being close to him now. I think I needed to have a bit of a mid-life crisis, and I had it. A week of horrible sadness is quite enough. This morning I bought four T shirts off the Saddle Creek website (a purple Bright Eyes one I wanted, a Good Life one, a Cursive one (both red), and a blue 'piano' one of the label itself. They were all ludicrously cheap thanks to a combination of buying direct from SC, the exchange rate, and seemingly discounts). Then I bought the Finisterre LP, that I've wanted for ever, and an Adorno text for Aesthetics. Then I decided I should stop.
I've been at home all day because some of those are things I intended to do in town but realised could be improved by the online choice. I posted Joe's mix CD finally.
Oh yeah, Joe. I'm going to stay with him in a couple of weekends' time which should be lots of fun. The Amber Sleep are playing a gig on the Monday night so I need to stay for that. So 'weekend' is more like four days. We're going to go on a trip somewhere.
I'm constantly guilty of underestimating my friends. They have all been AMAZING. Colin's barely left me alone, despite working full time in a different city; Ryan's called lots; Joe's been really supportive. And Sophie... God, I despise that girl.
But also I want lots more now. One of the most amazing things about last summer was meeting so many new people at once - many of whom have become my closest friends. I want that to happen again this year. I'm pretty sure something similar will occur once I move to London (which is probably happening; at least, it seems like a good idea at the moment) but there's most of a year before that. I want some nice writers to join the paper/nice volunteers to join the record library/nice people to throw house parties with lots of strangers in.
Just because I haven't mentioned people doesn't mean they aren't appreciated; these are just the things that jump to mind right now. I'm very grateful for everyone who's looked after me this week and before.
I also feel about 17 again which is probably good, potentially the suggestion of an oncoming mental disorder.
So many books to read. I want that weekend now, though.
Everyone said that going to London would be a silly idea, and they were WRONG. I had a moment of irrational, transcendent clarity on the coach home, David asleep next to me, thinking about the future and listening to 'i i e e e' (Tori Amos is INCREDIBLE - why did I take this long to realise?). We had lots of chats while we were there, about why it happened and what it means and where we go and I feel loads better about being close to him now. I think I needed to have a bit of a mid-life crisis, and I had it. A week of horrible sadness is quite enough. This morning I bought four T shirts off the Saddle Creek website (a purple Bright Eyes one I wanted, a Good Life one, a Cursive one (both red), and a blue 'piano' one of the label itself. They were all ludicrously cheap thanks to a combination of buying direct from SC, the exchange rate, and seemingly discounts). Then I bought the Finisterre LP, that I've wanted for ever, and an Adorno text for Aesthetics. Then I decided I should stop.
I've been at home all day because some of those are things I intended to do in town but realised could be improved by the online choice. I posted Joe's mix CD finally.
Oh yeah, Joe. I'm going to stay with him in a couple of weekends' time which should be lots of fun. The Amber Sleep are playing a gig on the Monday night so I need to stay for that. So 'weekend' is more like four days. We're going to go on a trip somewhere.
I'm constantly guilty of underestimating my friends. They have all been AMAZING. Colin's barely left me alone, despite working full time in a different city; Ryan's called lots; Joe's been really supportive. And Sophie... God, I despise that girl.
But also I want lots more now. One of the most amazing things about last summer was meeting so many new people at once - many of whom have become my closest friends. I want that to happen again this year. I'm pretty sure something similar will occur once I move to London (which is probably happening; at least, it seems like a good idea at the moment) but there's most of a year before that. I want some nice writers to join the paper/nice volunteers to join the record library/nice people to throw house parties with lots of strangers in.
Just because I haven't mentioned people doesn't mean they aren't appreciated; these are just the things that jump to mind right now. I'm very grateful for everyone who's looked after me this week and before.
I also feel about 17 again which is probably good, potentially the suggestion of an oncoming mental disorder.
So many books to read. I want that weekend now, though.