the art of zen stressing out

[turnez]

So life is going pretty well. I'm trying very hard not to be stressed about money and to know it will all work out in the end. Which it always does. Needless to say there may be a good deal of "artistic New York City" original photography under the tree this year (except for Heidi, I already have her gift, tee hee hee! I'm so excited to go home

Comments

[blaze2242]

Since I have never had anyone close to me die, I didn't respond to your earlier plea. But I can talk about parent/child identity. I am talking about the shift in my relationship with my Mother when she went from being this older woman who told me what to do to becoming a woman who is my friend and has some damn good advice, and it occured during my freshman year of college. I was staying at my boyfriends house ( a big no no) she knew I was drinking and stuff, but rather then rein me in, or demand information about my life, or impose rules, or express HER opinion on things, she let me make my own decisions, and didn't press for info. In turn, I ended up coming to her for advice when I wanted it, since I didn't have to deal with all sorts of unwanted advice. Likewise, when I told her something, she witheld judegement, didn't tell me what to do, just expressed her feelings, and let me make my own decision. Growing up, I could always tlak to my dad more then my mom. He was more likely to discuss things with me, and let me make mistakes and deal with the consequences. But now, because of the impecable job that my mom did in shifting her role from 'boss' to that of 'friend and mentor' I tell her about everything, she even reads my lj. I tell her things that I wouldn't tell some of my closest friends for fear that they would judge me. Another key thing she did, was she kept the things I told here between me and her, rather then passing the info on to my Dad, (like I originally assumed she did. THere is a funny anecdote that goes with that if you are interested) so building this level of trust that one often doesn't find in paretns, because we tend to view our parents as a unit (assuming they are still married, or at least that was how I viewed them).

Hope it helps. I know its not really on topic...

[turnez]

Actually Ruth that's great! The first part of my play is about the relationship between child/parent and how that changes as we grow up so your story fits perfectly! I'd love to hear the anecdote if you have the time! The second part of my play involves the fear of death/sickness, even if it's not present in our lives yet. The third part is that death/sickness actuating and the final part is where do we go from there with the new information we have. So I love getting info from people who haven't dealt with this terrible thing yet, because I think it's important to look at the relationship from all sides, not just the critical mass it reaches when we're faced with a crisis. So anything else you want to add...the more the better! And you'll get to be in a play! Once it's finished I'm going to post it online so everyone who contributed can read it and then hopefully I'll find some way to get it performed, even if it's in an abandoned lot, in NYC. So thanks again! BTW, how is your life going? Are you still in school? Going to be around for the holidays? I'm going to be in town for civil war and we'll probably be at Rennie's so you should definitely join us! Love and miss you!