(no subject)
I've always assumed that in my running from the past I would be able to rest my feet in the future. But recently I've come to realize that all I've really done is run far enough so that my past is no longer in sight and, winded, I have began to walk. Not wanting to ever look back, and being afraid to look forward, I've decided to squint my eyes just enough so that I can decipher blurry obsticles through the screen of my eyelashes without actually seeing where I am going. I don't want to know. And yet, I'm afraid that when I do finally open my eyes I will be lost; unable to back track or locate my goals. I'm growing tired of the pace I've set, and sometimes I feel a deep urge in my chest to pick up the pace and open the blinds. This only lasts for a few feet before the terror is back and I jerk to a stop, before squinting again through the black haze. I wish I could convince myself of one course of action. My hazy perspective is comforting as much as it is depressing.