yep, that's my body
so i'm lying here, on the bed typing this and wondering what to say. i say i'm lying here, because earlier, when i was myspacing and rearranging this page, i was sitting cross-legged on the bed and i kept looking down at my hands and thinking "my mom's hands!" they looked all vein-y and it was freaking me out. so now i'm lying down.
it's been a while. like a long time. there was a time when i was depressed and scared and i didn't feel like i had anything worth saying. i couldn't write. i didn't have writer's block. i just felt sincerely that nothing i could think up to say was worth anyone else's time to read.
i know.
what the hell happened to me?
i think that before everyone graduates from school, they should have to take a course along the lines of "real world 101" similar to how freshmen are generally required to take a "university 101" course when they arrive at school. something that will prepare new grads to be royally fucked by the whole of society. prepare you for that first really shitty job, where nine times out of ten, you are hopeless overqualified. prepare you for balancing the work week and the drinking weekends, which inevitably become split second weekends. prepare you for the life-shattering reality that is the first student loan repayment bill. but more than anything else, if the professional educators haven't already, prepare students for the general apathy, economic depression, and juvenile popularity contest that our job marketplace promotes. enough blathering though.
after college, i stayed behind, in my college town like a pathetic loser does. i found a menial job at a small-time corporation so i could stay within the safe confines of my small college-life bubble. i stayed within the safety of my college relationship and tried to make it work. but basically by staying behind i found that i instead of preparing myself for the real world by dipping my toe in the shallow end, i held myself back a lot more than anything else. duh. i put all my self confidence into my relationship and my friends and ended up with none.
why else would someone with a brain like a maniac work a (no offense intended) dead end job as a customer service rep? it started me thinking about all of the people i know who are underpaid. almost all of my friends are these talented individuals who make a decent wage, but nothing near what they deserve. actually now that i think about it, most people i know don't make what they deserve. or maybe it's just that money has less value to me the older that i get.
especially with our economy what it is.
it's been a while. like a long time. there was a time when i was depressed and scared and i didn't feel like i had anything worth saying. i couldn't write. i didn't have writer's block. i just felt sincerely that nothing i could think up to say was worth anyone else's time to read.
i know.
what the hell happened to me?
i think that before everyone graduates from school, they should have to take a course along the lines of "real world 101" similar to how freshmen are generally required to take a "university 101" course when they arrive at school. something that will prepare new grads to be royally fucked by the whole of society. prepare you for that first really shitty job, where nine times out of ten, you are hopeless overqualified. prepare you for balancing the work week and the drinking weekends, which inevitably become split second weekends. prepare you for the life-shattering reality that is the first student loan repayment bill. but more than anything else, if the professional educators haven't already, prepare students for the general apathy, economic depression, and juvenile popularity contest that our job marketplace promotes. enough blathering though.
after college, i stayed behind, in my college town like a pathetic loser does. i found a menial job at a small-time corporation so i could stay within the safe confines of my small college-life bubble. i stayed within the safety of my college relationship and tried to make it work. but basically by staying behind i found that i instead of preparing myself for the real world by dipping my toe in the shallow end, i held myself back a lot more than anything else. duh. i put all my self confidence into my relationship and my friends and ended up with none.
why else would someone with a brain like a maniac work a (no offense intended) dead end job as a customer service rep? it started me thinking about all of the people i know who are underpaid. almost all of my friends are these talented individuals who make a decent wage, but nothing near what they deserve. actually now that i think about it, most people i know don't make what they deserve. or maybe it's just that money has less value to me the older that i get.
especially with our economy what it is.