Hello everyone. I hope this community is still active, I know it's been a while since anyone posted anything. I can't believe I didn't think to come looking for a place like this sooner
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Wow, you have a lot on your plate. I'll see if I can't give you a few bits of advice. First off, whoever told the parents that there was a "carrier" for Turner's is absolutely wrong. Turner's is a random mutation that happens in the first few hours after conception. There is no carrier, no other factors that have been found, just a random thing that happens. I tell people that one of my daughter's X's got lost and went to Neverland
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I'd certainly applaud you for not wanting to medicate her into submission. That's all too common these days, with any behavior problem. Just to preface my remarks, though since I had the last post you may have already read it, I'm a 30 year old male whose only exposure to Turner's has been through a close friend who has it. But since the doctors feel there's no medical reason for her behavior, I'll chime in on the non-medical side of behavior
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Which brings us back to what mel said about non-verbal skills. The first step may be determining whether she does understand these things, and then holding her accountable for what she does understand and teaching her to understand the rest. Like all things involving children, it requires a near-endless supply of patience and an understanding that correcting the behavior is done not to ease your life (though it does that to), but for the child's benefit. Children who don't learn to behave well grow up to be adults who dont' behave well and give themselves a much more unhappy and lonely life than they could have had. Thinking through as yourselves and approaching correcting the behavior as an action of loving her enough to do what it takes to teach her to live right is important to your motivation and to her response.
Yep, Mel's absolutely right, it's a completely random event that results from the cells which form sperm and eggs dividing incorrectly (so in fact it happens long before conception
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Yes, they did have her diet looked at. There was also a dietitian working with her consistently for a while there. The thing they seemed focused on was gluten. She is limited with eating sweets and she eats organic cereal and special milk. She also takes a variety of supplements, including fish oil. I'm not sure the whole diet thing is completely figured out, but everyone is aware of the correlation. Since she's only with us every other weekend, her mom either supplies us with any special food or tells us what to get. In general though, we are very healthy eaters. The only junk food we ever have around is pizza occasionally. I guess her diet is still a work in progress but she definately does not eat much junk in either household. Thank You!
Thank you for everything! I had no idea that this behavior problem is common! Just hearing that made me feel 100% better. And the way you describe your daughter fits my step daughter to a tee! She does not get the brush offs or body cues either. However, she is not shy, will talk to absolutely anyone, and she is totally clueless when it comes to things that other kids pick on each other about (physical traits, who is wearing cool sneakers and who is not, etc.) she talks to kids the same way she talks to adults. She will play with the two and three year olds, but at the same time she will have just as much fun talking to the elderly couple sitting on the bench
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We joke that my daughter has never met a stranger. She talks and talks to everyone!! It is very nice to see her play with everyone, but at the same time it makes me sad sometimes to see her try and play with all the kids and get brushed off. It normally doesn't "click" with her that they don't want to play till they come out and say "go away". Then she is heartbroken
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We joke that my daughter has never met a stranger. She talks and talks to everyone!! It is very nice to see her play with everyone, but at the same time it makes me sad sometimes to see her try and play with all the kids and get brushed off. It normally doesn't "click" with her that they don't want to play till they come out and say "go away". Then she is heartbrokenThis describes her to a tee! In fact, she actually went over to a girl at school's house who "does not like her". The girl never came out a told her she didn't like her, but she obviously did not get the "brushing off" that must have happened at school. So, she went over there looking to play and the girl told her off and so my fiance's daughter just sort of broke down on the sidewalk and started bawling and the girl's mother had to call her mother to come and get her, and had to explain that her daughter does not like her
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Which brings us back to what mel said about non-verbal skills. The first step may be determining whether she does understand these things, and then holding her accountable for what she does understand and teaching her to understand the rest. Like all things involving children, it requires a near-endless supply of patience and an understanding that correcting the behavior is done not to ease your life (though it does that to), but for the child's benefit. Children who don't learn to behave well grow up to be adults who dont' behave well and give themselves a much more unhappy and lonely life than they could have had. Thinking through as yourselves and approaching correcting the behavior as an action of loving her enough to do what it takes to teach her to live right is important to your motivation and to her response.
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