[dated to Jan 12]

[turnedoutfine]

It had been almost a month since that crazy party, and the guilt was absolutely eating Alexis up inside. She hated keeping things from her dad, keeping secrets, and this was like the subway thing all over again, except way worse. What she'd done this time was so much worse than that

Comments

[stormweathered]

Castle had found a lot of things in his bed before -- beautiful women, crumbs of food, a really lucky lottery ticket the once -- but upset-looking daughters were a rarity and one that got him really worried. He set his books down on the table just inside the room and slowly approached, like she was a wounded animal.

"Alexis? Sweetheart, what's going on?" he asked. "Do I have to have Beckett kill Cooper?"

[turnedoutfine]

"No, Dad," Alexis replied, trying for annoyed but mostly sounding shaky and congested. She drew in a shuddering little sniff of a breath and blew it out. "Daddy, I have to tell you something. And you're not gonna like it."

[stormweathered]

He came closer, now incredibly worried as all the worst possibilities went through his mind. "Alexis," he started, sitting down on the edge of the bed and staring at her with worry. "You know you can tell me anything, right? Am I...am I going to be a grandfather...?"

[turnedoutfine]

She wasn't even able to bring herself to roll her eyes like usual, but at least what Castle had guessed was probably worse than the reality, relatively speaking.

"Not unless I'm about to get visited by an angel," she replied wearily. "It's about that party I went to, about a month ago."

[stormweathered]

Castle let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in, very grateful that suddenly his worst fears weren't coming true. "What about the party?" he asked, now sure that nothing could be as bad as his worst nightmares. "I heard it was pretty awesome."

[turnedoutfine]

There wasn't any point in beating around the bush now that she'd decided to tell the truth, Alexis decided, so she squared her shoulders and just spit it out.

"There were these brownies," she explained, gazing intently down at her own hands, clenched together in her lap. This might have been better than a teen pregnancy, but it was still way worse than jumping a subway turnstile. "I ate a couple of them. The rest of the night's kind of a blur but I -"

Her breath caught and she paused to steady herself again. "I found out later there was ecstasy in them."

[stormweathered]

He made sure to listen and not interrupt, especially not to jump to conclusions, especially when she still had something to say. "How many of those brownies, exactly?" he asked, so he could ask Beckett later to do a rundown of any long term effects.

This was a tricky rope. He'd done ecstasy himself, in the past. At times it had been a shout for help and at others...well, Rick Castle had a wild child past. So hypocritical outrage wasn't going to go very far.

[turnedoutfine]

"Two," Alexis replied, daring a glance upward. "I, uh, think. Like I said, the night's a little bit of a blur. There might have been a third at some point."

[stormweathered]

This was a time when Castle needed his mother. He needed his mother or Beckett or a sound adult who actually knew what to do. As it was, all he could do was flounder slightly and try and make a good stab at what he thought was the right thing to say. "How blurry are we talking? Are we talking full blurry blackout?"

[turnedoutfine]

"No, I was conscious the whole time," said Alexis with a sightly vigorous shake of her head. "It's just - my memory of that night's a little fuzzy in places."

[stormweathered]

"That does tend to happen," Castle had to admit, even if he didn't know how much of his own history he wanted to share with her. "Alexis, can I be honest with you?"

[turnedoutfine]

Oh boy, here it comes, he was bound to really crack down eventually, Alexis thought, and squared her shoulders. "Of course, Dad," she said, with a tiny sniff.

[stormweathered]

He cleared his throat, hating how awkward this absolutely was. "Alexis, I'm not sure that I'm allowed to say much. I mean, I could yell and I could shout and bring down the walls of the house, but it's pretty hypocritical compared to some of the things I did when I was your age. All I care about is that you're safe. You're three times more responsible than me and I'm sure you've been torturing yourself about this."

"But," he allowed, knowing that she expected some kind of reprimand, "you're right, it is...something that I wouldn't choose for you. How about the next party like that you go to, you bring your own food, hm? The baking can be your punishment."

[turnedoutfine]

"Okay," Alexis said, nodding vigorously, prepared to face up to whatever he wanted to dish out. "Okay, Daddy."

She'd been so tightly wound over the whole thing - he was right, she had been torturing herself over it - that once it was out in the open, there was a little pop inside of her like a shaken up soda can suddenly opened. She let out a gasping kind of sob and suddenly started shaking like a leaf. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

[stormweathered]

Castle surged forward to hold her tight, stroking her hair carefully. "Hey," he breathed out. "Alexis, it's okay sweetheart. You're here and you're safe and you told me the truth. That's what's important to me. You know that, right?" he asked, easing back so he could get a proper look at her face. "That I just want you to be okay?"

[turnedoutfine]

Alexis nodded again and curled up tightly against her dad, like she was six years old again and he was keeping away a nightmare. "I know," she said in a wavering voice, clutching handfuls of his shirt. "I know, I know."