On a White Coat, a Dragon Passant Vert
You see a lot of lapel pins on wards, riding on people's coats, one of the few bits of individuality allowed on the otherwise uniform appearance the ranks of med folk on service present. But I'm reasonably confident that there isn't anyone else in the entirety of the U. Michigan Health System which will have a pin like mine -- and perhaps only one person in a thousand who would know what it stands for...
There's lots of pins people wear. U. Michigan logo pins of various kinds are of course very common. So too are the "Star" pins which are the trophies for those physicans and staff who win glowing recommendations from patients. Medical students all have the little golden "Humanism in Medicine" pins given out to every U. Michigan medical student on the first official day of medical school. There's the rare "Bronze Beeper" pin, given by the Galens Medical Student society to the best medical residents helping teach on wards. And there's an entire panopoly of individual pins that folks wear, each with their own story.
I've got my own standard-issue Humanism pin; and a pin of the U. Michigan seal. And I have a third pin, a inch-by-half-inch rectangular pin, a pin argent, a pale gules, overall a dragon passant vert, in chief an ancient crown Or within a laurel wreath proper. Not my own SCAdian coat of arms, for noone would recognize that. It is a pin instead of the third oldest Kingdom in the Knowne World: the arms of the Midrealm, my SCAdian birthplace, allegiance, and home.
As I once wrote in the entry The Season When Marches the Dragon:
My SCAdian life began in earnest here in the Barony of Cynnabar, here in the Midrealm; the warm welcome and wonderful friends who gave it a source of memories happy and bright, for all captured on my SCAdian home page and many more. My SCA life began here in the Midrealm; my *real* life began here in the Midrealm: born and raised in metro Detroit, my engineering undergraduate work at Northwestern in Chicago; my medical and graduate work over the last eight years here in Ann Arbor. All but a single year of my life here in the United States has been within the lands of the Dragon; here in the Midwest, the Great Lakes, the Midrealm, I was born and raised.
Through and through, I am a son of the Midwest. Of spectacular autumn colors blazing like fire. Of majestic winter mornings, with crystal-sharp winds blowing off frozen lakes. Of Big Ten football on Saturday mornings and neighbors and friends who disappear during deer hunting season and a thousand other things. I am a son of the Midwest; I am a son of the Midrealm. And so, in this season when the daughters and sons of the Dragon prepare to march on Pennsic, I [bear] the Midrealm's standard with humble pride.
I sincerely doubt that any of my classmates will recognize the pin for what it is. I have only heard of one other medical student anywhere formerly or currently active in the SCA, as I wrote once in A Note from the Cleftlands. I do know one of the nurses in the NICU at University Hospital, I believe, is a musician with the medieval musical ensemble the Jubilatores. And perhaps among the vast numbers of other folks who pass through the medical center, there are or will be others who are or once were SCAdians themselves.
The Midrealm's Dragon, as the proud badge or hated emblem of one of the sponsors of the oldest rivalry and grandest tournament in the SCA -- the great clash of East and Midrealm that is grand Pennsic -- is almost as well recognized as the SCA laurels themselves. The SCA's laurel crest is simplistic enough that it could be mistaken for many other things or meanings; and the arms of the Barony of Cynnabar are not well known outside our area. But the crimson column on white and the green dragon rampant are unmistakably recognizable by all who've ever spent more than a little time in the SCA. *Every* SCAdian knows the Midrealm's Dragon.
The overwhelming majority of folks will have no idea, and think of it just as one of those personal pins that you see folks wear. But for the one person in a thousand who splits their time between the mundane and the reborn Medieval, my pin will be an unmistakeable symbol, that the guy behind the coat shares their same secret. That they've run into another Dreamer in the halls of the hospital, someone else who understands and celebrates all that they do. But the pin, just as importantly, isn't just for them: it's for me. To serve as a reminder when I look at myself in the mirror in a call room at 4 in the morning...
In the Kingdoms of the SCA, of which the Midrealm is one, conceptually it is not supposed to be enough to merely be skilled to win elevation as a Peer. One is supposed to be more than just good at bashing people over the head with a stick to become a Knight. One is supposed to be more than just supremely skilled in an art to be a Master. In theory, promotion by one's peers to the uppermost ranks of the SCA requires not just worthy skill but also worthy character. A Laurel ought be not just a skilled craftsman or performer, but also a mentor, teacher, and server of the populace with their unique abilities. A knight ought be not just a skilled fighter, but also a champion of generosity and honor. That's the theory, and at least in my experiences in Cynnabar, the gentles who hold those high ranks -- and everyone else -- live up to those high ideals. There are bad apples in the SCA, as there are in any gathering of people; but there are also many, many more people of honest, forthright, and generous character. Certainly that would describe the people whom I have been so lucky to journey with these past few years in Cynnabar, and I am certain Cynnabar is far from unique in the lands of the Knowne World. And in almost forty years of history, there have been written the stories of legends, living and otherwise, whose embodiment of the virtues of chivalry -- virtues by no means limited to those who fight -- are inspirations to us today.
To remember courtesy and kindness / To prize justice above personal gain / To labor for the common good; Reverent and generous / Shield of the weak / Foremost in battle / Courteous at all times / Champion of the right. Echoes of their oaths, taken under the Midrealm Banner, the same banner worn on my own collar, an ever-present challenge and reminder of what I hope I might, in my own way, try to live up to. I am not likely to ever be worthy of the high title of a Master of the Orders of the Pelican or the Laurel. I am exceedingly unlikely ever to win the title of Master of Arms. But I might yet earn the chance to become a physican, and in that way, maybe I too can aspire to live up to the values of courage and courtesy upheld by the many folks who befriended and inspired me in my time in the SCA. Aspire to live up to the examples the heroes and heroines of the most famous legends in our circles offer as challenge. I might never be worthy of joining them, but maybe I can aspire to be like them.
Everywhere I've ever been, I've had the tremendous privelege of meeting people of courage, honor, and kindness. Among the many places I found in my journey with such people of character were the friends I was lucky enough to make in the worlds of RenFaires and medieval recreationalists and the world of the SCA, from Revel Grove to Cynnabar to the far western Kingdoms of Adria. But those same values are common, of course, to comrades and friends in circles very far removed from the worlds of the past reimagined. Indeed, in *every* circle in which I've journeyed, I've had the chance to revel and fight alongside people selfless and loyal, generous and determined -- to laugh and mourn, dream and do, along so many of you. From the halls of the highest seats of power to homes intimate and cozy, from clashes and contests of enormous import to revels and celebrations merry, I've been inspired by friends of character and compassion, like so many of you. Celebrated with you. Plotted mischief with you. Rode with you through challenge and struggle, some we've won, some we've lost, but not one I've ever regretted. And above all, been lucky enough to recieve the gift of your friendship. Nobody and nowhere is perfect, of course. But there are still many people -- still so many of *you* -- who do their best, day after day, to uphold and honor the values they once and some still call chivalry. I hope that I might yet be able to do the same. And to remember and remind myself of that hope is one of the reasons -- and perhaps, the most important one -- I chose to wear upon my white coat collar the standard of the Dragon.
I might never become a SCAdian Baron, Master or Knight. But I might yet be good enough to become a doctor. And I hope I can be one not just of high techinical skill but also high character. One not just superbly competent but also deeply compassionate. I want to join the efforts on medicine's farthest edge, and help conquer once and for all those challenges which are the cause to us of so much grief and sorrow and too many lives ended far too young. But I also want to become someone that my family and friends will be proud of, not just as a physican or a scientist, but as a man and a friend. Six years ago, I began a sabbatical from that journey, and along the way found so much in happiness and joy from so many of you, gifts for which I am eternally grateful. Gifts which I hope the stories I have had the time to tell in this journal have captured in at least a small part. Monday, that journey finally begins again. And I hope at the end of it I will have become a doctor -- and a man -- that you all can be proud of.