Leaving it to luck...
----- News -----
November 28 - Do you know what you want in life? Yes, I do know what I want, the problem is that I also know what I'm willing to give in exchange, thus it may look like I have no idea what I want. When you're willing to give it all you just chase after your goal, it's easier. When you try to calculate the best option to make sure your actions carry a sufficient reward, it gets tricky. Should "good enough" be traded for "maybe better, maybe worse"? The lack of information makes the choice hard, yet it gets easier if as they say in Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds you "just let destiny choose" meaning, just let things happen and make the best of it as it comes. I've been doing that a lot, living one day at a time and if I make a mistake, it's okay because I didn't have the information to avoid it anyway. It's not that I don't have a plan, it's that I have too many plans and when Plan A doesn't look good, instead of trying harder, I switch to Plan B. You'd think having options would make things easier, it just gives you more things to chase, makes you want to divide yourself in two or three, so you can chase it all without giving up anything. It's not that I don't have priorities, it's just that my priorities are too clear, too specific, so my actions revolve around them and change drastically according to the situation, so that the priority remains on top "at all times", rather than "whenever possible". I have a goal, but there are too many alternate paths that lead to the same place. I don't like sacrifice, I feel stupid if I can't avoid it, yet only one who can predict the future could accurately choose the best path. I'm just guessing, because guessing is the story of my life. Translation, I might (as in not sure) get an interview for a higher position. I'm not scared of failing, because that just means everything will stay the same and I'm okay with that. I'm worried about passing, because I don't know if I'll like it and money has never been a big motivator for me. Furthermore the training experience, (pass or fail it doesn't matter) would be long and hard and I always get demotivated without constant rewards. Especially if I'm working towards something where I'm not 100% sure if I'll be rewarded at all.
November 29 - I'm calmer than yesterday mainly because I've adopted my usual Jamill (Valkyria Chronicles II) style strategy of letting luck decide everything, except without dice. I feel better when I have a plan for every situation, but don't choose what plan to pursue until the situation actually arrives, rather than trying to guess which situation will come. It's easier and feels better to just let stuff happen. I know I can handle the most likely possibilities, so I won't try to tilt my path into one of those possibilities if I'm having trouble choosing. If I can handle them all, then I'll take which ever life throws at me and not worry about it.
November 30 - December is so close by :o time flies. Things are still uncertain at work with possible training trips and what not but I guess I can deal with it. Random: this is awesome http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dkHrr-sOPE
----- Updates -----
Fanfics:
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/300106/
http://piratesboard.net/fiction/viewuser.php?uid=4
November 28 - To Live Another Day 16: Secrets and Surprises (Slayers)
November 29 - To Live Another Day 17: A Small Step Forward (Slayers)
Fanart:
http://mikaristar.deviantart.com
November 30 - Narcissus Flower (Slayers)
November 30 - Get me out of here (Slayers)
November 28 - Do you know what you want in life? Yes, I do know what I want, the problem is that I also know what I'm willing to give in exchange, thus it may look like I have no idea what I want. When you're willing to give it all you just chase after your goal, it's easier. When you try to calculate the best option to make sure your actions carry a sufficient reward, it gets tricky. Should "good enough" be traded for "maybe better, maybe worse"? The lack of information makes the choice hard, yet it gets easier if as they say in Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds you "just let destiny choose" meaning, just let things happen and make the best of it as it comes. I've been doing that a lot, living one day at a time and if I make a mistake, it's okay because I didn't have the information to avoid it anyway. It's not that I don't have a plan, it's that I have too many plans and when Plan A doesn't look good, instead of trying harder, I switch to Plan B. You'd think having options would make things easier, it just gives you more things to chase, makes you want to divide yourself in two or three, so you can chase it all without giving up anything. It's not that I don't have priorities, it's just that my priorities are too clear, too specific, so my actions revolve around them and change drastically according to the situation, so that the priority remains on top "at all times", rather than "whenever possible". I have a goal, but there are too many alternate paths that lead to the same place. I don't like sacrifice, I feel stupid if I can't avoid it, yet only one who can predict the future could accurately choose the best path. I'm just guessing, because guessing is the story of my life. Translation, I might (as in not sure) get an interview for a higher position. I'm not scared of failing, because that just means everything will stay the same and I'm okay with that. I'm worried about passing, because I don't know if I'll like it and money has never been a big motivator for me. Furthermore the training experience, (pass or fail it doesn't matter) would be long and hard and I always get demotivated without constant rewards. Especially if I'm working towards something where I'm not 100% sure if I'll be rewarded at all.
November 29 - I'm calmer than yesterday mainly because I've adopted my usual Jamill (Valkyria Chronicles II) style strategy of letting luck decide everything, except without dice. I feel better when I have a plan for every situation, but don't choose what plan to pursue until the situation actually arrives, rather than trying to guess which situation will come. It's easier and feels better to just let stuff happen. I know I can handle the most likely possibilities, so I won't try to tilt my path into one of those possibilities if I'm having trouble choosing. If I can handle them all, then I'll take which ever life throws at me and not worry about it.
November 30 - December is so close by :o time flies. Things are still uncertain at work with possible training trips and what not but I guess I can deal with it. Random: this is awesome http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dkHrr-sOPE
----- Updates -----
Fanfics:
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/300106/
http://piratesboard.net/fiction/viewuser.php?uid=4
November 28 - To Live Another Day 16: Secrets and Surprises (Slayers)
November 29 - To Live Another Day 17: A Small Step Forward (Slayers)
Fanart:
http://mikaristar.deviantart.com
November 30 - Narcissus Flower (Slayers)
November 30 - Get me out of here (Slayers)