(no subject)
Hey,
i can't sleep due to a combination of things, like too many thoughts going through my mind, excessive noise from the gutz, and so on. i should be sleeping because 1.) i have to get up at 6 tomorrow, 2.) I havent been getting good nights of sleep and 3.) i cant afford to take a nap tomorrow because I have a lot of work to do. never-the-less, im on here. oh livejournal how i've missed you!
so my usual end-of-semester apathy has hit me, only its a little worse off this time cuz now it's just mixed with slight confused depression, loneliness, and i suppose regret. it's really quite exhausting: not wanting to do anything/lack of passion and feeling all that at the same time.
it's just...i leave here soon and i'm so confused about it. part of me CAN'T WAIT to go home! i just miss everyone soooooo much and i miss boston and american things and everything like that. another part of me doesn't ever want to leave because when the times are good, they're really great! part of me knows that all these people ive come to love and live with in the last few months will never be this close to me again, nor i to them and it really depresses me. part of me regrets not taking better advantage of being in europe, of seeing more, of getting to know dresden more. yet part of me is exhausted from all the seeing I did do. part of me wants to see sooo much more. part of me wants to do well in school. and the other doesnt really care at all.
that's just an insight to my confusion at the moment. it's exhausting. i find myself having strange dreams all the time...not bad...actually usually good but strange none-the-less. up until now I havent really had any dreams while here in dresden. its weird.
i have finals next week. i cant believe i already have finals. i feel like i just got here! the whole thing is one big blur!
i'm really really really upset at myself for not writing in here. like MEGA upset. but i think what I'll do is I'll keep all my class schedules and i have all my tickets and stuff and when i get back im going to spend a day just writing everything i did while in europe so i can have it written down. it's not the same cuz the details and jokes and stuff will be gone but at least ill have the important memories written down. damn it why didnt i do that all along. omg.
today was my last day playing volleyball with the germans. it was really sad actually, and very awkward to try and say goodbye. they're so nice and funny and its weird to think i wont see them again. its too bad :(
anywayyy i really should get to bed. im going to the awesomely huge christmas market after bio tomorrow and then im doing homework for the rest of the day and then going out at night with some friends. im excited for that. i really do love the people here. i dont think the experience would have been the same without them.
i digress, its time for bed
goodnight all of you at home, i'll be seeing you soon!
i miss you all so much!
i can't sleep due to a combination of things, like too many thoughts going through my mind, excessive noise from the gutz, and so on. i should be sleeping because 1.) i have to get up at 6 tomorrow, 2.) I havent been getting good nights of sleep and 3.) i cant afford to take a nap tomorrow because I have a lot of work to do. never-the-less, im on here. oh livejournal how i've missed you!
so my usual end-of-semester apathy has hit me, only its a little worse off this time cuz now it's just mixed with slight confused depression, loneliness, and i suppose regret. it's really quite exhausting: not wanting to do anything/lack of passion and feeling all that at the same time.
it's just...i leave here soon and i'm so confused about it. part of me CAN'T WAIT to go home! i just miss everyone soooooo much and i miss boston and american things and everything like that. another part of me doesn't ever want to leave because when the times are good, they're really great! part of me knows that all these people ive come to love and live with in the last few months will never be this close to me again, nor i to them and it really depresses me. part of me regrets not taking better advantage of being in europe, of seeing more, of getting to know dresden more. yet part of me is exhausted from all the seeing I did do. part of me wants to see sooo much more. part of me wants to do well in school. and the other doesnt really care at all.
that's just an insight to my confusion at the moment. it's exhausting. i find myself having strange dreams all the time...not bad...actually usually good but strange none-the-less. up until now I havent really had any dreams while here in dresden. its weird.
i have finals next week. i cant believe i already have finals. i feel like i just got here! the whole thing is one big blur!
i'm really really really upset at myself for not writing in here. like MEGA upset. but i think what I'll do is I'll keep all my class schedules and i have all my tickets and stuff and when i get back im going to spend a day just writing everything i did while in europe so i can have it written down. it's not the same cuz the details and jokes and stuff will be gone but at least ill have the important memories written down. damn it why didnt i do that all along. omg.
today was my last day playing volleyball with the germans. it was really sad actually, and very awkward to try and say goodbye. they're so nice and funny and its weird to think i wont see them again. its too bad :(
anywayyy i really should get to bed. im going to the awesomely huge christmas market after bio tomorrow and then im doing homework for the rest of the day and then going out at night with some friends. im excited for that. i really do love the people here. i dont think the experience would have been the same without them.
i digress, its time for bed
goodnight all of you at home, i'll be seeing you soon!
i miss you all so much!