[Two]
Nothing much has changed. Rude is still Rude. Powerfully magnetic. It sneaks up on you and I certainly never expected to respond in such a fashion. Forgiveness, an indemnity for such: my appetite. Reno is -well- it is probably best not to get started on describing that impetuous redhead.
Same old, same old. The passage of time and this job. I can stomach the grit, the blood on our hands. But now? Centralized to an uncommonly barren hub after three years: come in, clock in, sit down, stand up, get to it. The loathsome, routine appointments that are our duty to uphold. Tseng can stare at me. Funny that I feel nothing but numb to the young inherited - a strange level of comprehension returned. Blank. I hold respect.
(Funny too, perhaps, that the only thing I seem to have understood implicitly as of recent days was the look on that revolting man's face.)
Where is Veld? He used to care, in his own inimitable fashion. Even for one so far from the flock. He understood. Fucking bastard. Better just be distracted licking ShinRa's ass. I do what is required of me, but, I suppose... unlike the political players - unlike Veld or Tseng are, have to be, to survive - I have never really understood. I still do not view them as family. Unimportant. Loyalty, dedication without no absolute fealty - and yet, I note certain absences.
No. Things have changed. Jaded, colder somehow. Without-
Without those whom I never thought I'd miss.
Hmm.
I thought I could only feel your loss keenly.