vapid
been busy with stuff:
birthday presents
christmas cards
books of prophecy. according to zrinka's estimation, this is going to be my hairstyle in 50 years. It's all down hill from here. literally. I'm overwhelmed. I have a million excuses to be really happy. this is my favorite time of year and yet I have so much responsibility hanging over my head. it's jsut a conflict of interest. Normally I would jsut do the work and apply for college and do all my school we-call-it-break-because-we-want-to-break-your-spirits homework but I'd rather jsut:
-eat
-draw pictures
-take pictures. I have 7 rolls of film and a fixed camera
-play with sarah. she'll be back at approximately 9:29 Monday night *waves pro-sarah flag*
-play with sam. she's home from college monday too so we're going someplace before I go volunteer at kepler's. you should come and give me, I mean the girl scouts, tips.
-play badminton again.
-eat a crapload of fruit
-go to Europe. I'll jsut have to wait til February.
-go to Europe again and again and again. I'll jsut have to wait til i can raise another $1000. it's not that it's so much. But that's a whole fucking lot of money to withdraw at one time, as i jsut have. especially now. I wish I didn't like getting presents for people so much.
-write. what the hell happened to english class? all we write now are timed essays about dying lovers. You read one you've read them all. You write one essay, and then you write it 200 more times jsut filling in the blanks with different names. Is that intelligence? should i be able to write a good essay in 40 minutes? What about my best work? it was jsut getting good with A doll's house. That's literature. I jsut have to get angry enough.
someone piss me off. I have had this ESLRs editorial on my computer for 2 years without finishing it. i need to get re-angry about it. I guess i've never been so angry about it, its more like a cynicism/frustration that jsut kind of ferments inside me when I think of how helpless I am. You know what's funny are those REAL posters. real what?? real bull shit. who the hell knows what an ESLR is? and if you ever cared enough (you'd have to try really hard to think of a reason to care) to find out, you'd realize that all 11 or 12 of them are exactly the same worded differently. Not to mention, how does one teach good citizenship or whatever much less test it? why dont we make trendy glossy posters of the California Content Standards? better yet, why dont we teach them and when a kid doesn't learn them, why dont we make him re-take the class instead of giving him an A for effort and damning him to fail the exit exam that only tests 6th and 7th grade math standards. I have a 4.857060764-91867-9 but how much of that represents intelligence? And suppose i printed this article and suppose that for whatever reason it was actually sort of good and suppose (now this is really krazy) that it actually elicited some concern . People only care up until the point that they have to act on their concern. write a letter to the editor? that would take effort. I'd rather jsut sit in my puddle of shit and indifference and bitch. which is essentially what I'm doing. god bless hypocrisy *burns a bible*
-unwrap a new thingie of cream cheese. you gotta try it
-help undress a person, wait no....
-help a depressed person.
-tutor angel. she's so smart. We take for granted the advantage that literacy gives us. I want to empower her jsut by telling her what i know or at least by making her feel good about herself. she's in a wheel chair but there's nothing wrong with her mind. Everyone should join project read. I have forms if you need one.
-use my new electric tb.
.... that's for tooth brush, not tuberculosis.
-sleep
-avoid going places with jsut my dad's family. that would be the ultimate depressing experience.
-go shopping... just because I know I've been brainwashed into deriving easy pleasure from materialsim doesn't mean i can help it.
-kick my alarm clock
-sew
-look good again. haha. funny that I have so much control over how I look. ugly/pretty/ugly/pretty/ugly/pretty. like magic. too bad its not natural.
-sell you my soul to do my college apps for me.
-to everyone who got confused between me and someone they actually like and gave me a present(s). thank you. if you didn't, I need a tank of gas.
that's enough for today. My birthday was nice. my dad forgot again. I'm not bitter. zrinka says I'm not allowed to pick daisies or play with dollies anymore. what a shitty age then. I'm not even allowed to have sex with old people yet. the day after my birthday was the best.
I found a needle in my bed yestreday. wtf? It stuck in my knee and I thought it was something biting me so I kept hitting it. advice: dont do that. sagely advice: dont put needles in your or my bed.
birthday presents
christmas cards
books of prophecy. according to zrinka's estimation, this is going to be my hairstyle in 50 years. It's all down hill from here. literally. I'm overwhelmed. I have a million excuses to be really happy. this is my favorite time of year and yet I have so much responsibility hanging over my head. it's jsut a conflict of interest. Normally I would jsut do the work and apply for college and do all my school we-call-it-break-because-we-want-to-break-your-spirits homework but I'd rather jsut:
-eat
-draw pictures
-take pictures. I have 7 rolls of film and a fixed camera
-play with sarah. she'll be back at approximately 9:29 Monday night *waves pro-sarah flag*
-play with sam. she's home from college monday too so we're going someplace before I go volunteer at kepler's. you should come and give me, I mean the girl scouts, tips.
-play badminton again.
-eat a crapload of fruit
-go to Europe. I'll jsut have to wait til February.
-go to Europe again and again and again. I'll jsut have to wait til i can raise another $1000. it's not that it's so much. But that's a whole fucking lot of money to withdraw at one time, as i jsut have. especially now. I wish I didn't like getting presents for people so much.
-write. what the hell happened to english class? all we write now are timed essays about dying lovers. You read one you've read them all. You write one essay, and then you write it 200 more times jsut filling in the blanks with different names. Is that intelligence? should i be able to write a good essay in 40 minutes? What about my best work? it was jsut getting good with A doll's house. That's literature. I jsut have to get angry enough.
someone piss me off. I have had this ESLRs editorial on my computer for 2 years without finishing it. i need to get re-angry about it. I guess i've never been so angry about it, its more like a cynicism/frustration that jsut kind of ferments inside me when I think of how helpless I am. You know what's funny are those REAL posters. real what?? real bull shit. who the hell knows what an ESLR is? and if you ever cared enough (you'd have to try really hard to think of a reason to care) to find out, you'd realize that all 11 or 12 of them are exactly the same worded differently. Not to mention, how does one teach good citizenship or whatever much less test it? why dont we make trendy glossy posters of the California Content Standards? better yet, why dont we teach them and when a kid doesn't learn them, why dont we make him re-take the class instead of giving him an A for effort and damning him to fail the exit exam that only tests 6th and 7th grade math standards. I have a 4.857060764-91867-9 but how much of that represents intelligence? And suppose i printed this article and suppose that for whatever reason it was actually sort of good and suppose (now this is really krazy) that it actually elicited some concern . People only care up until the point that they have to act on their concern. write a letter to the editor? that would take effort. I'd rather jsut sit in my puddle of shit and indifference and bitch. which is essentially what I'm doing. god bless hypocrisy *burns a bible*
-unwrap a new thingie of cream cheese. you gotta try it
-help undress a person, wait no....
-help a depressed person.
-tutor angel. she's so smart. We take for granted the advantage that literacy gives us. I want to empower her jsut by telling her what i know or at least by making her feel good about herself. she's in a wheel chair but there's nothing wrong with her mind. Everyone should join project read. I have forms if you need one.
-use my new electric tb.
.... that's for tooth brush, not tuberculosis.
-sleep
-avoid going places with jsut my dad's family. that would be the ultimate depressing experience.
-go shopping... just because I know I've been brainwashed into deriving easy pleasure from materialsim doesn't mean i can help it.
-kick my alarm clock
-sew
-look good again. haha. funny that I have so much control over how I look. ugly/pretty/ugly/pretty/ugly/pretty. like magic. too bad its not natural.
-sell you my soul to do my college apps for me.
-to everyone who got confused between me and someone they actually like and gave me a present(s). thank you. if you didn't, I need a tank of gas.
that's enough for today. My birthday was nice. my dad forgot again. I'm not bitter. zrinka says I'm not allowed to pick daisies or play with dollies anymore. what a shitty age then. I'm not even allowed to have sex with old people yet. the day after my birthday was the best.
I found a needle in my bed yestreday. wtf? It stuck in my knee and I thought it was something biting me so I kept hitting it. advice: dont do that. sagely advice: dont put needles in your or my bed.