it's been a while, i almost thought i had forgotten the bitter taste of defeat
So I'm sitting here in my room, pretty disinhibited, eating a "marshmellow pie" (courtesy of Pao Davin)...
I'll admit that I initially decided to take Molecular Biology with Dr. Tracy Johnson this quarter for the challenge. I could have taken it next quarter, but I decided to take it with her due to her reputation for being genuinely difficult - I got more than I bargained for. Apparently she was pregnant. Her child was due two months premature, and she ended up leaving the class to one of her colleagues.
I got far more than what I bargained for - Dr. Heath Balcer, I won't forget your name.
I got to where I currently am strickly through the power of my will. However, there comes a time where one must realize their own current abilities. It's been a while since I've met defeat face to face; this final was definitely a reality check. There wasn't a concept that I wasn't clear on, but the final was heavy on "skill". I went into this exam with the mentality of complete ownage (on my behalf... er... owning the test..?), but it resulted in the exact opposite. It's not like I Iiterally failed it or anything, but I walked out of this exam knowing that my abilities only got me so far. I wasn't able to step up to the challenge; I felt defeated.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that this was a complete reality check. The full capacity of my abilities were met with utter defeat. This may be my full capacity at this current time point, but if I am to draw any closer to my eventual goals, it's definitely not enough. It doesn't matter if I actually do get an "A" on this final or in the class; what I realized was that I performed far below my expectations and it was terrifying. I took this class with Dr. Johnson for the challenge, but I learned far more than the molecular biology of the cell. Improvement in every way, shape, and form - I must strive beyond perfection (or something as close to it as possible).
Later days, I've much to learn in all possible aspects =)
-Ed
I'll admit that I initially decided to take Molecular Biology with Dr. Tracy Johnson this quarter for the challenge. I could have taken it next quarter, but I decided to take it with her due to her reputation for being genuinely difficult - I got more than I bargained for. Apparently she was pregnant. Her child was due two months premature, and she ended up leaving the class to one of her colleagues.
I got far more than what I bargained for - Dr. Heath Balcer, I won't forget your name.
I got to where I currently am strickly through the power of my will. However, there comes a time where one must realize their own current abilities. It's been a while since I've met defeat face to face; this final was definitely a reality check. There wasn't a concept that I wasn't clear on, but the final was heavy on "skill". I went into this exam with the mentality of complete ownage (on my behalf... er... owning the test..?), but it resulted in the exact opposite. It's not like I Iiterally failed it or anything, but I walked out of this exam knowing that my abilities only got me so far. I wasn't able to step up to the challenge; I felt defeated.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that this was a complete reality check. The full capacity of my abilities were met with utter defeat. This may be my full capacity at this current time point, but if I am to draw any closer to my eventual goals, it's definitely not enough. It doesn't matter if I actually do get an "A" on this final or in the class; what I realized was that I performed far below my expectations and it was terrifying. I took this class with Dr. Johnson for the challenge, but I learned far more than the molecular biology of the cell. Improvement in every way, shape, and form - I must strive beyond perfection (or something as close to it as possible).
Later days, I've much to learn in all possible aspects =)
-Ed