Hopefully for the LAST time..

Sep 14, 2013 23:21


As written from Facebook:

"You sweet, sweet man...Thank you so much for a good time last night. You are a fantastic soul and I was amazed by how well we meshed in interests and so much. I've never felt so much love so fast from a person before -- you're truly amazing Vince.

But I can't do it. I can't be yours. I can't be anyone's. I'm too independent -- I gave myself to you that in a way I've never done before. You havent known me that long, otherwise you'd know I'm far more reserved than that, but this time...I really put myself in the shoes of wanting and needing a lover and companion because I saw a glimpse of something beautiful with you-- but it's not for me. Not really. I did my best and thank you for giving me the chance to try.

Sorry for the worries today but I needed to search my feelings on the matter and this is what I've got. I'd hoped the mask would become a reality but my path is the loner's path. I know it for a fact, now, and not because of anything you did, but because I truly am never really at peace until I'm alone and it feels wonderful. Even more than the company of a great guy who shares many of my likes such as you.

I need a mountain to build a temple on...Or maybe I'll go back to New Zealand and contemplate silence. Dunno -- but building a life with you is something I cannot do. Mine's still too much of a work in progress to share."

I meant every word of it. And now I only hope I can quiet my restless mind with this as much as assuage a wounded heart. I've come, I've seen and I've bought numerous t-shirts and they're all too small. Dear brain:enough with the romance and dating nonsense already and let's embrace being for a change. How about we let go of that up and down lever on my emotions a tad, eh?

musing, dating, gay

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