8-16-10 The Torrent P. 3
- 7:45 PM - Began meditative prayer, requesting purification and healing.
- 10:00 PM: - 1/4TH cup ayahuasca ingested.
- 10:06 PM: -Meditated one half hour.
10:15 PM: My chest begins to quiver with light, my jaw soon following with flashes of light coursing across my inward vision for every shivering twitch. Whole body quakes of vibration soon follow with the walls audibily resonating with vibratory knocking sounds from my shaking legs in the bed. Meditative exhale is my only relief from these relentless quivering surges, but the weakness of my meditative skill becomes immediately clear as I struggle to control the torrents of unseen force suddenly being transmitted through my body. The quiet ambience of my natural surroundings begins to modulate in the highest register of my hearing. What sounds like the quivering needle of a record player playing some distant dissonant song of ether. Closer harmonies seem to surround me, a collective singing like the buzz of whirring mosquitos. In the openness of “Om” I can hear the throaty voice of an elder shaman chanting in a language I do not know. This sound, too, is transitory - as if quickly submerged beneath competing currents in some torrential flow of signals.
Mentally overwhelmed, all focus and intention seemingly lost in the barrage of information, I muster with all of my strength and attention a whisper: “Please…Heal…Me.”
A radiant hyperattentive state, I was waiting for the visions to begin. Only then did I remember they are a product of breath.
When did I become so ingenuine.
When did I become so difficult to love?
If I could only reach out and hug each of those loved ones whose relationship I soured.
Braggart! Loud and brash! I know your game…