(no subject)
My home in Michigan is a powerful one; powerful in ways I still struggle to understand.
The first night back from China, sleeping in my old bed, there was great activity...as if a "Welcome Back, Boy!"
Lights flashed from my bedside, beyond. That old woman called out "Kaleb!"
Days later, angry entities, those me and everyone in my home had come to know years previous, had returned; stomping around in the living room and moving things loudly upstairs in the studio. Horrible images, pus bursting faces stabbed with needles, old men's cheeks sliced open, and always the eyes glaring, angry. I would hear them stomp into the bedroom, feel the matress dip as they sat at the foot of the bed, near my feet, sometimes crawling upwards, followed by a heavy weight on my chest. Twice, the whole bed was shaking so powerfully, the rhythmic sound of the matteress hitting the wall could be heard.
2 days into the second week, I experienced the first demonic posession since 2003. I was paralyzed, like before, unable to move, but aware of what was happening. I felt a sort of...fire, passion, a vibrating energy course upwards through my chest: the entity. I was lucid, but had no control. I could only listen as it screamed through me, my back arched. It was not a human scream, it was the high pitched wail of a beast. I tried to supress it, to move, to regain control of my arms. Internally, I was able to push the scream away, back downwards into my stomach and further yet. As I did this, the sound coming from my throat changed, becoming more gutteral - a low choppy growl.
All at once, I could move again. My guts and crotch were "humming" with that furious wailing, whatever that I had pushed down away. Looking up, there was a light to my left and in front of it I saw a sillouette of the entity - a huge hunched beast, moving away from the bed. I could finally see what I was dealing with!
I pushed that angry screaming energy down into myself, expelling it, but not fully. The resonating sensation, the remnants of that fire, could be felt vibrating in my guts and crotch. It lasted for well over a minute. (Not) coincidentally, that area of my body became incredibly "inflamed," with internal bleeding and pain.
Understandably, I became very nervous going to bed each night in that same room. For years, I had been away from the house, living in Grand Rapids and China. I was healthy living at those places, and no such spiritual interactions took place. Yet the first day back in this old church, it all begins again...
I began, as before, the 3-5 AM meditative "interaction" experiments. Again, as before, these sessions would become incredibly powerful, with energy sensations, shadows, lights, and visions. Hearing the stomping entity in the next room, I would take long deep breaths and exhale, asking the "White Light Spirit," who manifested physically in 2004, to guard and protect me. Alternating between internal tonal resonation to deepen the focus of my request, I would continue requesting the presence of the powerful protective entities by many names: "Divine Mother," "Holy Spirit," "Divine Guardian," etc...
Again, I would spend time focusing and intensifying my request by silently exhaling a pure tone, internally. When done most intensely, this tone seems to resonate through all areas of the brain, inducing a total "clearing" or "emptying" sensation throughout.
Nearing the third hour of this intense and genuine requesting of presence, the prayer was answered as I knew it would be. What began first as an open-eyed vision of ascending across many levels of some kind upwards through what looked like a tunnel, I continued to calmly exhale, again and again, "White Light, Come To Me!"
The travelling sensation ended. A great Lion appeared and looked down upon me from a field, standing noble behind a swaying patch of grass. I was in absolute awe and suddenly realized "Yes! A cat, of course!" I gazed upwards for long moments, as the great being seemed to smile upon me. (In Shamanism class, we were taught that each person has a guardian animal or "Power Animal. I never thought much of it, outside simply the required reading in a textbook for a class...but suddenly it came back as something immediate, meaningful.)
I tried to close my eyes, and realized I could not. My gaze was held, somehow, onto this distant place so far above me, my body. When I tried to close my eyes, they only fluttered, as if held open in some REM-state or trance. When I could close them, all at once there was a great flash of light and the ceiling was black again, yet my whole body seemed to vibrate powerfully.
The next day, at my mom's house, sitting on the couch after my morning shower, my little nephew came up to me holding out a little baby kitten.
"Uncle Boy! Look at the kitty I found. Her name is Angel."
The first night back from China, sleeping in my old bed, there was great activity...as if a "Welcome Back, Boy!"
Lights flashed from my bedside, beyond. That old woman called out "Kaleb!"
Days later, angry entities, those me and everyone in my home had come to know years previous, had returned; stomping around in the living room and moving things loudly upstairs in the studio. Horrible images, pus bursting faces stabbed with needles, old men's cheeks sliced open, and always the eyes glaring, angry. I would hear them stomp into the bedroom, feel the matress dip as they sat at the foot of the bed, near my feet, sometimes crawling upwards, followed by a heavy weight on my chest. Twice, the whole bed was shaking so powerfully, the rhythmic sound of the matteress hitting the wall could be heard.
2 days into the second week, I experienced the first demonic posession since 2003. I was paralyzed, like before, unable to move, but aware of what was happening. I felt a sort of...fire, passion, a vibrating energy course upwards through my chest: the entity. I was lucid, but had no control. I could only listen as it screamed through me, my back arched. It was not a human scream, it was the high pitched wail of a beast. I tried to supress it, to move, to regain control of my arms. Internally, I was able to push the scream away, back downwards into my stomach and further yet. As I did this, the sound coming from my throat changed, becoming more gutteral - a low choppy growl.
All at once, I could move again. My guts and crotch were "humming" with that furious wailing, whatever that I had pushed down away. Looking up, there was a light to my left and in front of it I saw a sillouette of the entity - a huge hunched beast, moving away from the bed. I could finally see what I was dealing with!
I pushed that angry screaming energy down into myself, expelling it, but not fully. The resonating sensation, the remnants of that fire, could be felt vibrating in my guts and crotch. It lasted for well over a minute. (Not) coincidentally, that area of my body became incredibly "inflamed," with internal bleeding and pain.
Understandably, I became very nervous going to bed each night in that same room. For years, I had been away from the house, living in Grand Rapids and China. I was healthy living at those places, and no such spiritual interactions took place. Yet the first day back in this old church, it all begins again...
I began, as before, the 3-5 AM meditative "interaction" experiments. Again, as before, these sessions would become incredibly powerful, with energy sensations, shadows, lights, and visions. Hearing the stomping entity in the next room, I would take long deep breaths and exhale, asking the "White Light Spirit," who manifested physically in 2004, to guard and protect me. Alternating between internal tonal resonation to deepen the focus of my request, I would continue requesting the presence of the powerful protective entities by many names: "Divine Mother," "Holy Spirit," "Divine Guardian," etc...
Again, I would spend time focusing and intensifying my request by silently exhaling a pure tone, internally. When done most intensely, this tone seems to resonate through all areas of the brain, inducing a total "clearing" or "emptying" sensation throughout.
Nearing the third hour of this intense and genuine requesting of presence, the prayer was answered as I knew it would be. What began first as an open-eyed vision of ascending across many levels of some kind upwards through what looked like a tunnel, I continued to calmly exhale, again and again, "White Light, Come To Me!"
The travelling sensation ended. A great Lion appeared and looked down upon me from a field, standing noble behind a swaying patch of grass. I was in absolute awe and suddenly realized "Yes! A cat, of course!" I gazed upwards for long moments, as the great being seemed to smile upon me. (In Shamanism class, we were taught that each person has a guardian animal or "Power Animal. I never thought much of it, outside simply the required reading in a textbook for a class...but suddenly it came back as something immediate, meaningful.)
I tried to close my eyes, and realized I could not. My gaze was held, somehow, onto this distant place so far above me, my body. When I tried to close my eyes, they only fluttered, as if held open in some REM-state or trance. When I could close them, all at once there was a great flash of light and the ceiling was black again, yet my whole body seemed to vibrate powerfully.
The next day, at my mom's house, sitting on the couch after my morning shower, my little nephew came up to me holding out a little baby kitten.
"Uncle Boy! Look at the kitty I found. Her name is Angel."