An open letter
Dear God,
There are kinder ways of letting a guy know that his life habits are poor than giving him acid reflux. I mean, the horrible burning and stabbing pains are bad enough, but taking away literally every single thing I eat and drink from my diet? You SUCK. I mean, I can't really blame you for dumping a sudden lifestyle change on my lap - hell, it's what I'd do to lazy guys mistreating themselves if I were a deity - but, well, if you think I'm giving up beer and tea, the joke is on you at least. Some things are worth suffering for.
Ever so cordially,
Me
p.s. You're a dick.
There are kinder ways of letting a guy know that his life habits are poor than giving him acid reflux. I mean, the horrible burning and stabbing pains are bad enough, but taking away literally every single thing I eat and drink from my diet? You SUCK. I mean, I can't really blame you for dumping a sudden lifestyle change on my lap - hell, it's what I'd do to lazy guys mistreating themselves if I were a deity - but, well, if you think I'm giving up beer and tea, the joke is on you at least. Some things are worth suffering for.
Ever so cordially,
Me
p.s. You're a dick.